Chris Gaines is back, baby!
We are clumsily approaching the new roaring ’20s, and we’re gonna need some real bangers once we’re all vaccinated and people start humping randoms with reckless abandon in the streets. While the pleasantly unexpected revival of Paris Hilton’s “Stars Are Blind” in
A Promising Young Woman proved it is indeed still a JUSTIFIED bop, the quarantined people of the world surely deserve a more dramatic musical revival for the impending Great After. Re-enter: Chris Gaines.
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Only real ones (who binged
Pop-Up Video instead of playing outdoors with other children in the late ’90s) will remember Chris Gaines, the soul-patched alt-rock alter ego of Garth Brooks. By the time Brooks introduced Gaines in 1999, the country superstar had already demonstrated a flair for theatrics (see also: his epic video for “The Thunder Rolls”), but nothing quite as dedicated or fucking bananas as donning the identity of a fictional Australian soft-ro