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corrupt transaction in no way affects either party's inherent heartland foxiness. it's just good old parked down home country vote buying. (laughter) all the fun of a poll tax with none of the consequences. (laughter) >> so clearly the key to ining with the iowa straw poll is not some of having the best platform and message but the most kick-ass tent. and dare i say no one can pitch a tent-- (laughter) (cheers and applause) like michele bachmann. >> come from 9 to 5, we have an air conditioned tent. we've got chairs. we've got live, we've got country legend superstar randy travis liv...

i'm gonna make 'em special! luckily, most of us find the courage to tell friends that we'll miss them. good night, dr. cox. or not. ♪ the seasons always change (ring) (beep) hello. still, what i remember most is that leaving parts of my life behind always ended up hurting more than i thought. oh, no, turk, don't sweat it, man. if izzy's alone, you can't leave her. hmm, i'm pretty sure that's illegal. no, we'll just hang out another time. all right, man. right. (beep) he can't make it? no. (mouths words) ♪ is love alive? ♪ is love alive? >> august 11th, 2011, from comedy central...

precursor to january's wildly nonpredictive iowa caucus. (laughter) the idea is presidential candidates set up tents. in those tents the candidate offers to pay an individual $30 straw poll entrance fee. in return, the individual promises to cast their vote for said candidate all while both parties pretend this corrupt transaction in no way affects either party's inherent heartland foxiness. it's just good old parked down home country vote buying. (laughter) all the fun of a poll tax with none of the consequences. (laughter) >> so clearly the key to ining with the iowa straw poll is ...

for rick santorum will be there. his tent boasts rick santorum summer dance party which, by the way, is the lowest testing bet pilot ever. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> jon: hi, everybody, who here likes to cha-cha. remember leave room for jesus. (laughter) of course, if summer dance parties are not your thing, perhaps you would like some of rick santorum's homemade peach jelly. they're handing out samples of their peach jelly. wow. rick santorum must really be trying to change the search results that come up when people google santorum and jelly. now rick-- (applause) rick, it...

>> hey, dennis, want one? >> uh, you know what, maybe not tonight, ladies. i'm kind of working on something. >> oh, come on, don't be a loser. >> yeah. >> well, uh... all right. yeah, maybe just one. do you have one for my sister, too? >> sure. >> what is it? >> you'll see. >> chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. >> chopping, chopping. >> good, good. >> the cat's dead. i don't see any problems with that, other than the fact that the camera might see my hand killing the cat. >> no, charlie, we're gonna pull the cat out of there before it gets through the chopper. >> yeah, but if sweet dee do...