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THOUSANDS of people turned out in the sunshine for the Kilmacolm and Port Glasgow Show.

PREMIUM EVER wondered how Glaswegians cope so valiantly with lockdown? Local physician Tim Parke provides this pictorial clue on social media Poem is pants EVER wondered why schoolchildren invariably complete their homework late? It’s because they’re too busy focusing their cunning little minds on becoming rascally versions of Robert Burns. Our readers have been recalling the scandalous songs they devised during their misspent youth, with one contributor sharing a racy interpretation of the old Pepsodent jingle. Inspired by this, another reader recalls a variant of the same verse th...

PREMIUM Hugh Peebles spotted this artificial cow looking in a living room window in Peebles. Perhaps it wanted to see what was on the telly. A rerun of The Sound of Moo-sic, perhaps? Or was it Moo-tiny on the Bounty? Teacher taught A GLASGOW teacher recently told us how difficult Zoom lessons can be. Now another high school instructor from Edinburgh gets in touch to heartily agree. This fine educator was taking a class using video conference technology, and she found herself berating her students. “Look at you all,” she said. “When I’m talking I don’t see anyone taking notes. ...

The bald truth A DIARY tale about an insensitive comment reminds George Dale from Beith of the time he was on a course and forgot to take a passport photo for the final certificate. Another attendee had done the same, so George went with this chap to the local supermarket photo booth. While standing in the queue, our reader mentioned that the booth brought to mind the famous cigar advert starring Gregor Fisher in his "baldy man" character. As the words left George’s mouth he realised, to his horror, that his new acquaintance was wearing a rather inferior toupee.

Woodwind windup PERUSING his Herald this week, former MP Sir Brian Donohoe stumbled across a headline that left him bewildered, as he read in bold typeface: "Lennox reveals dream of playing the flute." “Even if he does play it, he still won’t get the manager’s job at Ibrox,” says Sir Brian. We hate to point out that the Lennox in question is pop star Annie, not Celtic legend Bobby. Stories are always more fun minus facts. What a card A PLAYFUL father gets in touch to reveal that his children received a new game for Christmas. The rules dictate that each person takes a turn at ...