The Good Men Project Become a Premium Member We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable. Why So Many Midlife Couples Become Disillusioned With Marriage and How You Can Save Yours When you become disillusioned, it means you found the wrong partner, and you lick your wounds and start looking again for your “one and only . In my book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationship and Why the Best is Still to Come, I say, “Stage 3, Disillusionment, can either be the beginning of the end of your relationship or the entrée to real lasting love.” I know. I have traveled both paths and helped thousands of couples all over the world keep their relationship from going under. I went through two marriages and divorces before I understood the five stages of love and now have been joyfully married for forty years.