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BARNSTABLE I was dehydrating fruit with my nutritionist, Perry Stallsis, when a sudden electrical surge sent kiwi slices soaring over the marsh. I could see them stick to the picture window of my rival, Rex Wrathston, author of the competing Furious Cape Cod column. I knew this would be trouble.
Even from a half-mile away, I could see Rex s gleaming pitchfork as he made his way toward us. Fortunately, he had to take a circuitous route through the marsh, and I noticed that he was leaving a discernable pattern in broken phragmites. And thus, written in cursive over a vast landscape, the following message was revealed: ....

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