I quickly stated that his kids came first, and we shouldn’t get more involved with each other or it would become complicated and cause pain to both of us. That was 12 years ago. A couple of months later, a friend of his whom I’d met suggested I join a small group celebrating one couple’s engagement. He pointedly said that my very short-term “interest” was out of town with his family. That night, I foolishly drank too much and had sex with his so-called friend. I hated myself for my behaviour and avoided that man ever after. More than three years later, the man who’d haunted my dre...