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Brazen thefts sweeping the country. Gone are the days when shoplifting meant putting a snickers in your pocket then telling the cashier youre just glad to see them. Tyrus ew. Greg now shoplifting means shop lifting the whole store at once and humiliating you in the process. Roll it. Theyre not going to do nothing. Do you have insurance . Do you have insurance. What . Does he have insurance . Yeah he got insurance. No. It hurts me. [bleep] [bleep]. Aint nothing you can do though. Aint nothing you can do. Police, aint nothing you can do until police come in. Hey, hey, no, dont. Hey, aint nothing...

well, it's been a hell of a week, people. tgif. tonight on laura coates live. so much has happened it's hard to keep track of all that has actually take jeep place this past, what, five days? do you remember all that's happened, all that we have seen in the past few days? >> not what to name them. >> well, what you did was ridiculous. >> name 'em. name 'em. >> all right, sut ten. i will. here is the supreme court handing donald trump a great big no, sir on the novel thought he could commit crimes and get away with it with presidential immunity. and impeaching this grie? impeaching ...

since his music has been selling about as well as a hunter biden painting, white decided to make headlines the old fashioned way. by reminding people that you are evil if you ever shake trump's hand. disgruntled grunt wrote on instagram anybody who normalizes or treats this disgusting racist con man disgusting piece of [bleep] trump with any level of respect is also disgusting in my book, and that's you joe rogen, you medical gibson, you mark wahlberg, you guy fieri. guy fieri. he went there. to punk wait his keen analysis white included pictures of evil celebrities at saturday's unc...

so, no, the white powder found in what's been described as a west wing work area. cocaine. hmm. it was cocaine. never heard of the stuff. now, since he was just there, the obvious thing would be to blame hunter, especially after they found that other baggy filled with who caners. hookers. but if you found bear crap in the woods you're not going to blame the pope, you're going to blame the bear. and hunter is the bear. besides, if it wasn't hunter's, then who, joe? it explains the sniffing he's doing lines off girl's heads. could it be kamala? it could explain this. >> sit down with k...

her only threesome is with smoky and the bandit. i checked it with her. he knows what good tv is but decided to do our show any way. rob law. people love his shows because they can catch up on lost sleep. comedian joe davito. finally, he buys two seats when he flies. one for him and one for his belt. my massive side kick. yes. all right. before we get to these news stories, it's friday. let's do this. >> greg's leftovers. mmm. >> tasty, hot water. ahh. it's leftovers. i read the jokes we didn't use this week. it's my first time reading them. if they suck, i get to kill anyone i want....