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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20140307:20:52:00

It reminds me of the office. a lot of us are feeling under the weather lately. it is that time of year. according by a study, the key boards have hundreds of times more bacteria than a toilet seat. i hear your mother has more bacteria than a toilet seat. that s true. i dated her mom. i love what you say. there is no part of our brain that is in charge. scott, is that why we do that? i guess. that s a tough one to do. there s a saying that dissecting humor is like dissecting frogs. the product dies in the end. you don t want to dissect every joke. there is something in nervous laughter. the office was great in that. uncomfortable. it is amazing you are able to study comedy and you tried standup and you bombed. ....

Toilet Seat , In The End , Scott Weems , Dissecting Frogs ,

CNN This Hour With Berman and Michaela March 5, 2014 16:26:00

Outcomes. the best outcomes is that putin takes one of these off ramps and agrees to move his troops back and allow international monitors to come in to guard against any supposed attacks on russian speakers there, not that there is any real evidence of that. the more likely is the middle, muddling, uncomfortable, unsatisfying, status quo situation where russian troops remain on the ground and the west has a hard time trying to dislodge them. what does that mean going forward? how does the u.s. negotiate that reality moving forward as it deals with syria, as it deals with iran and so many of these world issues? will it be able to continue to talk to russia, have russia at the table? if it s troops are still effectively occupying crimea. that s why it is an important crisis for the white house. not just about one place or one country. it is about syria, iran, middle east peace. russia has a role in all of these different foreign policy ....

President Putin , Status Quo , United States , Al L , White House , Crimean Peninsula , Foreign Policy Items , Middle East ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - FOXNEWS - 20140304:00:06:00

And we re doing the same thing with all talk of cutting our defense budget you met president putin in 2001. what was your impression of him? uncomfortable. clearly kgb-ite. tough, intelligent. and fundamentally different interest than the united states. but i also saw russia as basically a country that has a relatively modest economy with the exception of its energy capabilities and leverage. it s got a military that has a lot of nuclear weapons it s a conscript military. he is, today, punching way above his weight class, and the united states is punching way below ours. mr. secretary, thank you for talking to us, you bet. ....

Bare Chested Putin , Defense Budget , Weight Class , You Bet ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20140224:08:42:00

Our next viral video hit the internet in 2006 and immediately had people wondering, is it real or is it fake? i m going to stop a craftsman red lawn mower, white male. the action is caught on a police dash cam. what is this guy doing? you kind of go like, this can t be real. what s your name? steve. but then you re like, but it could be because this is clearly a police officer s dash cam. the guy gets out, dressed to the nines as a cop. it certainly has a lot of elements that lend it credibility. how long you been riding a lawn mower? about two weeks. my truck broke. two weeks? yeah. you got a license on you, steve? the situation quickly gets, well, uncomfortable. what are you doing? i got to pee. sir, step off the lawn mower. sir. hang on. step off the lawn mower. just give me a second. sir, you better step off that lawn mower. you re about to get sprayed. i m serious. i m serious. i got to go. i got to go. ahhh! ....

Lawn Mower , Police Dash Cam , White Male , Named Steve , Dash Cam , Police Officer , Can T , It Credibility , Im Serious , Hang On ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20140224:03:42:00

Our next viral video hit the internet in 2006 and immediately had people wondering, is it real or is it fake? i m going to stop a craftsman red lawn mower, white male. the action is caught on a police dash cam. what is this guy doing? you kind of go like, this can t be real. what s your name? steve. but then you re like, but it could be because this is clearly a police officer s dash cam. the guy gets out, dressed to the nines as a cop. it certainly has a lot of elements that lend it credibility. how long you been riding a lawn mower? about two weeks. my truck broke. two weeks? yeah. you got a license on you, steve? the situation quickly gets, well, uncomfortable. what are you doing? i got to pee. sir, step off the lawn mower. sir. hang on. step off the lawn mower. just give me a second. ....

Lawn Mower , White Male , Named Steve , Can T , Police Dash Cam , Dash Cam , Police Officer , It Credibility , Hang On ,