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Insanity. the bad part is, you are in bakirkoy. the good part is, it s probably easy to escape from there. the walls were old and pitted. you literally could climb over the top. so i m waiting now for the right time. patrick was off raising money. he had to get false papers, and so he got himself involved with people who could do that. i got a telegram one day from my dad. patrick was found dead in his in his hotel room with a bayonet through his chest. ....
You know, i ve got a book and i ve got a movie and i made money. and i met my wife. and i had a wonderful life. and all that good stuff. but deep down, i still feel somehow i had to make make it up to him, what i put put him through. looking back now, i can talk about it being experience and life, and i learned so much. and i did. but the cost to my family, that s hard. that s hard. ....
Prison. i had no idea what was going to happen to me. none. i have no idea how long i m going to be here. i don t know when i m going to get out of here, if ever. what i wanted to do was just curl up in a little ball somewhere and cry, because i was so tired and i was so emotionally drained that i wanted someone to take care of me. he put me in this cell. and it was a bare bunk, and it didn t have blankets and things on it. and it s cold, like steel and stone. there s no heat. i said something to him about, you know, is there a blanket or something? he said, no. sleep. go to sleep. go to sleep, and clangs the door shut. i could see him fumbling around with a key, but he didn t really lock the door. and off he went. ....
Jail is escape, various ways to do it, places to go, how to do it. people had maps. and everybody had stories. and there was the train line that went through greece, and it took you over the border and you could jump off. and that was like the you take the midnight express. you take the escape train. you know, you talk about it. but there is a huge abyss of pain and fear between talking about it and trying it. but that s really all i thought about for years. i had been in jail for like a year and a half now. i was desperate to escape from prison. one of the things i learned about was bakirkoy mental hospital. under turkish law, if you get classified criminally insane, they keep you in this hospital. but i heard from all the prison scuttlebutt that it is a much easier place to escape from. that wasn t the hard part. ....
The hard part was when you get out of it, what do you do then. you need someone on the outside. and that s where my friend patrick was going to be part and parcel of this escape plan. he came and visited me in the prison. we remained stalwart friends throughout. there was no one listening, so it became easy to talk about the situation. everyone says it s easy to escape. patrick would be on the outside with papers, passport and a car. i would escape out of bakirkoy, he d pick me up and we d drive off to the border and i d escape. all i have to do to get in is just convince them i m crazy. how hard could that be? none of my friends even had a doubt that i could convince them i was crazy. why should i talk to you? because i m here to help you. no, you re not! you are trying to get inside my head, but i m not going to let you. i put on a show. i didn t hold back. just tell me what you are writing. what are you writing? ....