after it's airing about her show or sometime later, and he showed up on set and i was like he's got his hands in everything. doing screenplays, done books, doing television. he's prolific in so many areas. >> which is exciting because all of it is good. >> but i look at you, you feel guilty. why are you guilty? >> i think anybody that loses someone to suicide feels uncomfortable. i mean there's a kind of replaying of your whole relationship. it's like a movie that's going backwards and you're sort of looking for things. i don't think he was -- he wasn't showing many cracks. he wasn't letting many people in. but if you can call yourself a friend, how could you have -- i'm horrified by what eric must be feeling if eric was a friend and just how could he have gone to bed the next night, gone to