Would be the, quote, toughest decision that he will ever make. And thats coming from a guy who once had to fire meatloaf. It couldnt have been easy for trump to fire a guy named after food during a Coronavirus Task force press briefing on friday, President Trump said that he was already thinking about dates for reopening the country from the coronavirus lockdown, but added that he would defer to experts experts . Or as most people call them, pillow salesmen. Trump administration is reportedly expecting and planning on reopening the country on may 1st, as in the coronavirus will eventually die out, but you may first alex bays wrote that cheeryouupper. According to reports, President Trump threatened to veto the 2 trillion coronavirus economic package if it bailed out the Postal Service oh, my god, would you just, i dont know, put him on a stamp or something tell him its for the Postal Services ode to hotties oh, yeah, no, in that case give them whatever they need. Who else got a stamp asa hough . Yeah, thats fair, very fair. In a video message yesterday, President Trump wished americans a happy easter and said, quote, we have a lot to be thankful for. A lot to be thankful for were all on lockdown due to a Global Pandemic. The only things we have to be thankful for, medical professionals and hard liquor. Today was National Scrabble day. And so was yesterday and probably so is tomorrow. Day after. Producers have announced that the released of the friends reunion special has been delayed due to the coronavirus pandemic. Truly, no one told them life was going to be this way [ claps i think that was right according to a new report, illegal marijuana sales in new york have risen by 50 during the lockdown and the best part is, now your dealer doesnt want to stay and hang out. You sure . You dont want some of this weed you just sold me . Nah no, man, im going to hit it. Got planet earth on bluray you want to stick around you always stick around. Nah im going to go. And finally, a woman at the new Orleans Airport was arrested over the weekend for obscenity after she tried to book a flight at the Spirit Airlines counter while naked. Nice try, lady, but if you want to fly spirit, youre going to have to at least put on a pair of socks thats a monologue we got such a great show for you tonight. His show last week tonight airs sundays on hbo. John oliver is back, i cant wait to catch up with him. But first, a closer look. Seth welcome back to the attic crawl space, everybody now, as you may know, theres been some speculation online about whats behind my tiny little door back there and i just want to put one of the rumors to rest i do not keep my children in there so they wont interrupt me while im filming. For one, that would be very cruel. And two, its a shallow closet you would never fit both of them which is something you can tell from eyeballing. I didnt try you cant lock it from the outside. Look, there are a lot of reasons. But the main one is it would be cruel. Also its been pointed out that the number of copies of the thorn birds on my side table kept increasing. At one point there was one copy, then two, then a third copy seemed to appear out of nowhere, it was very strange. So we had our guy come to check it out he said its pretty common in old attic to have an infestation of what he called mini series books. He said at one point there was likely an aunt of some sort up here but he sprayed were back down to one and he said everything will be back to normal in a week or two, while also stressing you have to be patient with a problem like this and you know, you cant rush it. And yet while im being patient with my thorn birds books, the president is already getting ready to reopen the economy after a bombshell New York Times report revealed more details about how he ignored the threat posed by the coronavirus. Thats a segue for more on this, its time for a closer look. As weve already detailed, the president ignored repeated warnings over the course of several years that a pandemic like this was coming, that it could kill lots of people and that it could devastate the economy. Then he lied about it, said it would go away, pushed a miracle cure that doctors have said could have potentially lethal side effects and is now telling everyone things could just go back to normal after tens of thousands have died and 17 million have lost their jobs, or as the president put it we have done a job the likes of which nobody has seen and you should say congratulations, great job, instead of being, uh, so horrid in the way you ask a question. Seth well, i will congratulate you on bringing back the word horrid. Really nice work on that, mrs. Thurston howell you think they should say congratulations, great job i think youre confusing a press conference with a party of some kind not only are your questions horrid, you never bring balloons its been a month. Not a single cake. Have you guys not heard of pinatas or have you and you just dont like them because you hate fun . Yeah, you hate fun, i said it. But yeah, next time we can bring out a cake that says congratulations on only 17 million unemployed. Seriously, we could, because in the last month or so weve all gotten pretty good at baking not great at ironing but pretty good at baking. And then we found out over the weekend about yet another series of warnings when the New York Times published a blockbuster account on how trump ignored the crisis for months as well as emails from medical experts and government officials talking about the danger of what was happening. One Infectious Disease doctor, james lawler, who served in the white house under president bush and as an adviser to president obama wrote in one email that the governments slow response was like ignoring the Smoke Detector and waiting until your entire house is on fire to call the fire department. And in another he wrote, pilots can tell you what happens when a crew makes decisions based on intuition rather than what their instruments are telling them. Among the many horrifying parts of that story is imagining trump as an airline pilot. If trump had been flying during the miracle on the hudson, we would be calling it the fireball on the east river. And he would have spent the whole time blaming the geese and yelling at the passengers, you know, instead of screaming and putting on your oxygen masks you should be saying congratulations, great job, captain. its going to make a great movie. We also considered sullen and bully but we thought in your head you might hear bulley and no one wants that. Again, what were experiencing now was not inevitable in those same emails, lawler noted that Pandemic Response planning began in 2006 under the Bush Administration and wrote that we could have followed the examples set by hong kong and singapore where the outbreaks were effectively contained lawler wrote of the mistakes the government was making in march, we had systematically addressed all of these and had a plan that would work and has worked in hong kong singapore. We have thrown 15 years of institutional learning out the window and are making decisions based on intuition. Of course he threw 15 years of learning out the window. Thats probably what his High School Tutor said when they tried to help him study for the s. A. T. S. Donald, can you read these Vocabulary Words for me . 10,000 known or susbested gang members. Advising law markers will not be tolerized. Distribution of urgengcy seth i feel as though ive thrown 15 years of learning out the window whats a window uh, you mean the glassy square hole anyway, dont worry, teach, my intuition tells me my dad is going to buy my way into pennis. Its not pennis its penn. Ha, you said pennis. And now, the same president who ignored repeated warnings from medical experts and intelligence officials about the crisis then instead just went with his intuition and is once again telling people hes going to decide to reopen the economy soon based on his instincts. Over the weekend he called into his favorite fox news shout fest with Jeanine Pirro to discuss his thinking for when to reopen the economy, something he cant even do on his own i know you said that the decision that youll make, uh, regarding reopening the country is probably the hardest decision, uh, that youve ever been called to make. Uh, when you make that decision, i mean, where do you go within you . What is it that you dig deep for to come up with a decision, aside from all of the people surrounding you . Well, jeanine, i think its going to be the toughest decision that ive ever made and ill be basing it on a lot of a lot of very smart people, a lot of professionals, doctors and, uh, business leaders. There are a lot of things that go into a decision like that and, uh, its going to be, uh its going to be based on a lot of facts and a lot of instinct also whether we like it or not, there is a certain instinct to it. Seth theres instinct involved are you making a political decision or are you a swallow returning to capistrano . Dennis miller joke and i hope youll pardon me if i dont have a ton of faith in your instincts one of your instincts was to put your photo on trump bottled water. Ah, what could be more refreshing than being leered at by a business husk oh, thats piss. I just drank piss. You dont need instinct. You have access to more information than anyone on earth and youre talking about a Global Pandemic like youre the pickup artist. Youre supposed to be the president , not mystery also, stop making it sound like a big reality show finale. Ill be making a decision and it will be a big decision and ill be deciding whether to give the final rose to the dow jones or dr. Fauci fauci, hey, fauci. Fauci. Fauci, you want to hear a secret fauci. Listen up, fauci, fauci. Im not going to give you the rose got you to touch your face, fauci. Also, jeanine, what kind of question is this where do you go within you, what is it that you dig deep for to come up with a decision seth where do you go within you . There is no deep within him. Hes so shallow, he barely exists in the third dimension. If you dumped a teaspoon of water in a kiddie pool, it would be deeper than trump there is nothing inside. Hes as hollow as a Chocolate Easter bunny hes everyone in the wizard of oz in one package what do i want . Brain, heart, courage. You name it. Who am i you can call me tincrowlion. Id be president foreve so handsome and so cleve if i only had heart brain courage moral cod single iota of humanit suit that fit so trump thinks he deserves congratulations for his handling of the pandemic thats left 17 million unemployed in three weeks and tens of thousands dead and yet he cant even manage to coherently regurgitate basic scientific facts like this bizarre explanation of how antibiotic resistant germs work. This is a very brilliant enemy, you know, its a brilliant enemy. They develop drugs like the antibiotics, you see it, antibiotics used to solve every problem. Now one of the biggest problems the world has is the germ has gotten so brilliant that the antibiotic cant keep up with it and theyre constantly trying to come up with a new theres whole genius to it were fighting not only is it hidden, but its very smart, okay its invisible and its hidden but its its very smart. Seth antibiotics work on bacteria coronavirus, and theres a hint right in the name, is a virus. You cant use antibiotics on a virus, no matter what your doctor told you in his airbrushed van seriously, trump is like a fifth grader who forgot he had to make something for the science fair you pour the vinegar into the volcano and then the baking soda, you know what im talking about, theres a whole genius to it i dont think i need to explain, just look at the poster. I had the butler make it so in the middle of a deadly pandemic thats cratering the economy because the president ignored repeated warnings, hes demanding praise from governors and the media. But trump is the not only one. His obedient allies on state tv have also been exhorting people to shower trump with praise. And by the way, maybe its time to once in a while say, i want to thank the president , his task force, and the Vice President for knocking down every door and giving us everything were asking for. Seth my god, is hannity auditioning for a spot on north korean state tv . Even kim jongun would be like, dude, bring it down a notch. Seriously, sean, play it cool. I know you want to be best friends with trump but youre coming on way too strong you can always tell when an adult man hasnt had other male friends in a while, because when they finally meet a potential new friend they just dont know how to handle it oh, man, donald, we have so much in common you want to come over and barbecue, watch sports, drink beer, talk cars, rate girls and stuff . I got a baseball signed by mickey mantle. You gotta check it you gotta see it the mick. But sean hannity understands that you have to consistently shower trump with compliments or youll fall out of his good graces on sunday, for example, when fox host Chris Wallace asked a medical expert whether trumps late start to confronting the virus cost lives, trump lashed out at him with a tweet saying, what the hell is happening to fox news, its a whole new ball game over there. After everything fox news has done for trump, he still complains about them the only news show he wouldnt criticize would be a topless woman who reads his tweets without comment and then fakes an orgasm. Boob news continues to be the only fair network out there. A lot of good work being done at bn. To stay in trumps inner circle, you have to praise him without exception which is something that trumps unwatered chia pet Rudy Giuliani understands better than most. Rudy actually offered some advice recently to governors and local officials who had been feuding with trump over the fact that trump has refused to supply them with adequate equipment including ventilators and protective gear for health care workers. A little advice for the governors and the mayors take the blame when you have to. You know, if you play with your boss, sometimes its better if you dont win the golf game. Uh, hes the boss. Hes got all the resources seth great thousands are dead and rudy is saying, think of it like a golf game and no, he doesnt have all the resources. We have all the resources. Theyre ours, you outer borough gargoyle we shouldnt have to be nice to the president to get him to give us lifesaving equipment. Besides, you dont have to try very hard to lose to a guy who cheats like trump does i had a four on that one. What about you, boss . I had a one wait maybe a two. No, it was a one. Trumps already been impeached once and now were finding out that he ignored repeated warnings from intelligence officials and medical experts about a deadly pandemic thats killed tens of thousands and left millions unemployed looks like well have to find a way through this nightmare without president ial leadership. Whether we like it or not seth this has been a closer look. Wait who let you out . Oh, not you too. Theyre loose the boys are loose [ laughter ] this has been a closer look. Oh, are you going back this has been a closer look. City harvest is new york citys Largest Food Rescue Organization and now theyre working hard to support local families who are out of work due to the covid19 pandemic theres a website on your screen where you can donate to help well be right back with john oliver. Announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. People used to care. Heck, theyd come all the way out here just for a blurry photo of me. 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Buy iphone 11, get one on us. Plus 150 off apple watch. This is unlimited built right. I am totally blind. And non24 can throw my days and nights out of sync, keeping me from the things i love to do. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442142424. Cheddar, jalapeno and sour cream onion the spicy nacho stack. I wish i could stack pringles but i dont have hands or a mouth to. Cool, play my dance playlist. Theres a flavor stack for everyone. Sort of. Seth our first guest tonight is the host of the emmy and peabodywinning last week tonight on hbo. Welcome back to the show john oliver, everybody hello seth there you are hello, seth hello, everybody hello, seth. Hello, magical mystery door. Seth i continue to be so jealous of a choice you made early on, which was to do your show in just front of a white background thats right, thats right. Dont let people into your life. And also, also i am willing to bet a great deal of money that that flower arrangement is not of your choosing that has your wifes style written all over it. Seth this is day one of the flower arrangement it took her it took her a full two weeks to watch anything that we had done on the television show. That sounds about right, yep. Seth yeah, and so, she was aghast two weeks into our remote shows to see how poorly dressed the set was. [ laughter ] thats right. How you look, how youre making your house look, collectively. Seth yeah. Yeah, thats why i just go with black you cant argue with nothing seth no, and was it born out of was it born out of necessity or choice . Well, first we were the week that everyone started closing, we ended up in a studio in hoboken, and we just did it in front of a white backdrop because our studio in new york was full of coronavirus. So, we were in front of a white black backdrop anyway so we thought we would just continue with this but it seth yeah. Yeah. Seth youve done you did your third remote show last night. Yeah. Seth how has it been for you guys, getting the show up and running . I guess its only three, right . Yeah [ laughter ] when you say three, it sounds like such a small number seth yeah. Its been all right, you know . Seth yeah. You know, its nice to be able to see my staff, albeit, you know, visually, remotely its not easy. Im not technicallygifted, so there is a very real chance that were going to have one week where we get through the whole thing, i send the file, and they say, theres nothing here. [ laughter ] and i say, oh, that makes sense. I think were all surprised its taken this long for that to happen seth well, three out of three is a very impressive start. Thats right. Thats a hat trick seth yeah, youre batting a hundred. Batting a thousand you were on our show a month ago when there was one case in new york city. Yes seth and obviously we were there was a controlled panic. When there was one recorded case in new york city, thats right. Seth thats true i think in hindsight it seems there were probably, i dont want to say, between a 1,000 and 5,000 cases in new york at that time. Seth yeah. Yep. Its very they its an interesting idea, the one recorded ummhmm seth because i think a lot of people react to, oh, its only one, but obviously yes seth you were correct in assuming it was probably closer to 5,000 its been amazing to see, i remember ron desantis last week saying, listen, theres no point in us having stayathome orders in florida because, you know, we have counties with no cases. No, you dont. No, you dont, ron [ laughter ] you dont have counties with no cases. You just dont we dont have enough tests i promise you, you dont have that seth how was your i would love it if that were the case, but it isnt, ron. It isnt seth how is your panic level these days how are you doing . I mean, i guess give me a scale to judge that on seth well, i mean, lets say trump not panicked at all is trump gets blown out in the election most panic is he serves four terms. [ laughter ] okay. I am thats the scale seth yeah. I am, i want to say about here seth okay, gotcha. 3 1 2 terms seth 3 1 2 terms yeah, thats right. Seth it must be your wife, a former army combat medic. Yeah. Seth so, i would assume things like protective medical gear, she has a it hit close to home. How is this in your home been discussed, the just stunning lack of gear for those on the front lines . I guess is what is first is disgusting, and then, i guess whats even sadder is its almost predictable, because this is how we fought wars in the past my wife went to war with ludicrously poor equipment we were i went to afghanistan in 2013 and they were we were doing a uso tour and i took my wife with me, and there was a it was a medics van on base, and she said, oh, thats mine, thats the one that we used to drive around in. And they said, oh, yeah, were not allowed to drive that on base now, we just dont know how to get rid of this. They couldnt drive it around to go get food because it had canvas doors my wife went to war with canvas doors, and not in 1911 seth right [ laughter ] yeah, cause i was going to say it let me just be clear. Let me just be clear age is just a number, seth age is just a number [ laughter ] seth it is but, my wife is not whatever that would be. Seth right, however old that would be we have children the same age. One thing that has been, i dont know if you felt lucky to have kids too young to appreciate whats going on. Yes i actually genuinely am grateful for just cause i dont know quite how to i dont know what youve done yet i dont know if ashleys feeling theres something wrong here im definitely getting a sense that my fouryearold is starting to suspect something bad is happening but im managing to keep that from him and he hasnt asked a question that it seems he wants the answer to yet. But hes certainly asking about why cant i see my friends, and seth my extending spring break at the moment im saying, well, you were still on spring break, and spring break may be lasting into the early winter. Seth my wife is one of those people who just tell children everything thats going on really . Seth she gives it to them straight, yeah so, now if you come in and dont wash your hands. Yeah. Seth my son will point at you and scream corona. Yes seth so, we have that. Okay, were doing this differently. [ laughter ] i have a friend who has a daughter who is hes taught to tell anyone that she comes into contact with when they go for a walk to stay six feet away whats been easy with that is shes always had a slight [ bleep ] off attitude toward strangers even for a fouryearold, and now shes really embracing it. Seth oh, thats good she will yell at people across the road, six feet [ laughter ] six feet no, no so, the tricky thing is, how do you unlearn that seth right thats the problem, or do you just keep it seth i feel as if corona is going to be a catch phrase for my son for a very long time. Joe exotic is the pandemic viewing pleasure for a lot of people, tiger king. And again not the hero america needs, but the hero it deserves right now. Seth exactly you were a frontrunner on this as well. [ laughter ] you talked to about him. Dont throw me into that [ bleep ]. Seth you got here early. You saw Something Special in joe exotic thats true seth when he was a glint in netflixs eye. Thats fair [ laughter ] thats fair. Seth so, you talked about it was a Third Party Candidate in 2016. Yeah. Seth i mean, i have to imagine when he first came across your plate, you must have been so delighted that this was a real human being oh, definitely. We just we were looking for kind of the craziest Third Party Candidate, found his ad, and it just it was like the lowesthanging, juiciest fruit, almost that you think, oh, could this be real [ laughter ] so sweet, so juicy. Yeah, so we got in touch with him around that time, just to check that the story, or check out that he was running, yadda, yadda. And our researcher went back through his notes and did say, no, hes all running, thats fine it seems like the park hes running is a little bit dangerous, we may not want to hold hands too closely with this. Plus he started ranting about a woman named carole [ laughter ] now, that seems such a simpler time [ laughter ] such a simpler time [ laughter ] [ talking over each other he really had it in for a woman named carole, who knows why . And it would have been great if none of us had known why sadly, thats not the world we live in. Seth sadly now, yeah, we know everything these days nothing goees it just turned out it was like the coronavirus. It wasnt that there wasnt a problem with carole, there just werent tests yet. Thats right. [ laughter ] we know you have a test to find out where her husband is seth were going to be stick around were gonna be right back with more john oliver yes at tmobile, you dont have to choose between a Great Network and the best prices. We give you both. Switch your family from at t or verizon to tmobile and you will save up to 50 off your Current Service and smart phones. 50 with three or more lines of essentials with unlimited talk, text and data. 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Seth all right, were back with john oliver i feel terrible because we talk a fair amount about soccer youre a liverpool fan, and i know youve talked about this and how heartbreaking it is. You were basically on your way to your First Premier League title and i feel like a jinx because i waited, and waited, and waited until it seemed like it was the safest. Yeah. Seth the safe was so locked up, and i feel like i blew it for you. Its not just that its not just that they were so close to winning it. But it is that its also they were winning it so beautifully seth yeah. So convincingly, and it felt like nothing could stop them now you think, short of a Global Pandemic, but a Global Pandemic, you know, is a hell of an opponent and it turns out it really shuts [ bleep ] down. Seth yeah. Yep seth it is not it is not the thing i am saddest about no, nor should it be. Seth but i want you to save a little piece of sadness for it i appreciate that its just that they deserve it so much. And obviously, obviously when you inject just the modicum of perspective, it doesnt matter, it will never matter but, you know, as a sports fan, perspective doesnt come naturally, does it seth no. You have to kind of, you have to really convince yourself, this doesnt matter, this is just adults playing a game its okay, doesnt matter. I should not be more upset about this than i am about other things in my life. However i remember i remember do you remember that world cup game [ laughter ] seth yeah. [ laughter ] i remember your instinctive reaction after realizing that holland had just been knocked out was to say, i love my wife [ laughter ] not like you felt it, more like, i need to walk myself back through this. Seth yeah. And boy, did i identify with that ive got to go through the checklist here to get myself back into being a rational, functioning human being. Seth but that is the joy of it i think the only reason to like sports is to give yourself a thing. Yes seth where you check rationale at the door. Of course, thats the beauty of escapism, right seth yeah. You think you cant possibly i cant, i still im a relatively balanced human being. Even coming out, that sounds wrong, but i can kind of talk to anybody, but i cannot talk to athletes i cant. I just have nothing in common. They still have a godlike i went to see liverpool just when they did a preseason game just before this season and i just i couldnt handle it i couldnt handle it at all. I went down to the dressing room and they were all coming out, klopp came out and i couldnt, you know, i couldnt say anything to him. Jordan i tried to talk to Jordan Henderson for a bit, it didnt really work and then, but this is true, i cant remember if i told you this. Virgil van dijk walked out and he looked at me and he said, zazu. I went, what . [ laughter ] what are you talking about . Zazu, i love the lion king. and i said, you dont have any children, which is not information that as a stranger, i should be, like, throwing in his face he went, no, i just like the lion king. I recognized you as zazu. So, you know, i guess that was good it was a connection of sorts it gave us something to talk about. Seth so, youre saying that not a Single Person on the liverpool squad complimented you for your deep dives on, say, Voting Rights . Not one . Just zazu . I mean, honestly, when adam lallana walked out, i thought he was about to Say Something about gerrymandering, but i dont know [ laughter ] he just i think he wanted to talk about watches instead [ laughter ] seth you so, i want to talk about some good news. Boris johnson. Yes seth out of the woods. Yes seth the queen actually gave an address this is very rare. Yes seth was it a tonic for you to see the queen speak i mean, what kind of tonic . One of those tonics that you think is going to do something, you rub it on you and you realize, oh, no, that didnt do it . Seth yeah. [ laughter ] like an expensive tonic, like something from goop. [ laughter ] seth or maybe like a gin and tonic, but the tonic is a little flat [ laughter ] thats exactly it seth okay, gotcha. You know, because normally the queen speaks every christmas. And if the queen is speaking at a time that isnt christmas, its not because things are going well seth yeah. Its because Princess Diana just died. [ laughter ] or the country is at war seth right thats basically it so, the queen turning up in itself is not a reassuring thing. If its a message from the queen and its not happy christmas, everyone, then thats not great. And so, yeah, i hope, for those whom she could calm down, i hope she calmed them down but, i dont know if we said on my show, what was more inspiring was that she was wearing a green dress and so everyone in england just started projecting things onto the green dress. Seth oh, because of the green screen it was a Natural Green screen. Yeah, it was a green screen so, you should never wear green in front of a Television Camera unless youre happy to have things [ laughter ] unless youre happy to wear things that people want you to wear and thats in a sense, the queen learns a very important lesson, which is if you dont want to be dressed like iron man, dont wear a green dress. Seth so, you dont think this was a case of her knowing in advance, like, let them theyll have some fun with this . That would be great [ laughter ] i mean, it would be wildly out of character, but it would be very generous, right seth like, someone choosing a movie poster thats begging for a [ bleep ] to be drawn on it [ laughter ] god, ive never been much of a monarchist, but i would really appreciate, like, her coming to the nations time of need. No, i dont want to go with the blue give them the green. Seth yeah. Let them enjoy themselves. Let them enjoy have at it, britain. [ laughter ] this country is at war with a vicious disease. Have at it. [ laughter ] seth one of the people thats reassuring or has certainly has brought some reassurance to many is dr. Anthony fauci. Yeah. Seth some say how can you stand there if youre a doctor and listen to the president say things that we know are scientifically untrue. But you actually have some appreciation for the tough spot hes in. Yeah, i mean, yeah. I think, when he was asked a question, that question by a medical journal, i think his response was, right, what would you have me do . Because, i get you could have him just cough [ bleep ] or into your sleeve. Not into your hand [ laughter ] [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. But, yeah, but that would mean that he couldnt do his job anymore, and i think theres nothing more important than him doing his job as long as he possibly can and so hes going to need to draw on internal reserves of discipline that i certainly dont have access to seth no, were very lucky not to be in a situation where we have to nod along with people we disagree with thats right. His biggest tell is just kind of slightly just doing that. [ laughter ] where as, rather than just the full, what the [ bleep ]. Seth its like hes slowing down a face slap like a [ laughter ] thats right. Thats right just, not just the full, oh, god. [ laughter ] im so good at my job, how can he be so bad at his . Seth thank you so much for making time for us i really appreciate it youre welcome. Seth thanks for doing your show through all this. Congratulations to lexi on the flower arrangements. Its nice to see seth thank you and i know as soon as this is over you rescrub the walls to keep them that way and youre [ laughter ] full karate kid, wax on, wax off. [ laughter ] wipe on. Seth thanks, john. Wipe off. Seth well see you back in the studio next time, i hope sure, ill see you in 2021. [ laughter ] seth john oliver, everybody. Its time to step up. Prep up. Step up. Prep up. To help keep you free from the risk of hiv. From the makers of truvada, theres another prep option descovy for prep. A oncedaily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. Its not for everyone. Descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. Talk to your doctor to find out if its right for you. Step up. For health and body. 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At comcast business, we want to help you not just bounce back, but bounce forward. And now, with one of our best offers ever, were committed to helping you do just that. Get a powerful and reliable internet and voice solution for only 29. 95 a month for three months. Call or go online today. Seth due to the coronavirus outbreak, many events that people look forward to every year have been postponed or called off completely. Yesterday, towns across the country were forced to cancel their Easter Parades well, we here at late night couldnt stand by and let that happen so here is one of my writers, amber ruffin, with the worlds first quarantine Easter Parade hello, im amber ruffin, and im wearing a gown because i feel like it now, i love parades. And i dont think we should all have to miss out on the fun of Easter Parades just because were all locked up in our houses so im throwing an easter quarantine parade for you, right now, from my house oh, and here comes the first float. Lets take a look. Our first float in the easter quarantine parade is of course the alcohols of quarantine oh, i see theres vodka, everyones favorite. And his best friend tequila, not my favorite brand but it was on sale so i got two. And triple sec, you cant have a margarita without triple sec, that is, until all your triple sec runs out, then you can, and will now, those are all of course evening drinks during the day its moscato. And here comes the second float in the easter quarantine parade. Jeans and bras now, fun fact about these jeans, i havent worn them for over 27 days and i dont know if i ever will again. Speaking of things ill never wear again, bras by the way, todays parade is sponsored by margaritas. Margaritas, thank you. I love you up next, oh, its the tangerines a very personal easter quarantine float for me because once every two weeks, my husband buys a giant bag of tangerines now, we have a mix of fresh ones and old ones fun fact, ive never seen my husband eat a tangerine. He buys them, brings them home, and never throws them away lets hear it for tangerines oh, weve got a beautiful crowd out there. Lets take a look. Now, weve got a big shiny bulldog. Mommy and daddy. And some lucky cats. Mommy and daddy, the only things keeping the peace between the bulldog and the cats good job, mommy and daddy. Next up, books thats right, that big fat pile of books you planned on reading during the quarantine is still there waiting for you to crack at least one of them open. Sorry, books, i guess youll have to wait for the next pandemic next up, a favorite of the easter quarantine parade its a dozen chocolate chip cookies. Now, these cookies wait where are these cookies . Oh, thats right, they were eaten seconds after coming out of the oven instead of dinner because were more animal than human now. Kind of funny anyone actually thought that they would survive until the next day and of course the final float in the easter quarantine parade, a zoom meeting thats right, your least favorite colleagues all on one screen now, thats it for the quarantine Easter Parade id like to thank everyone who made the time to come out today, especially mommy and daddy id also like to thank our sponsor, margaritas. Margaritas, if it werent for them, i would have murdered my husband by now, with a tangerine. Thats it for us back you to, seth. Seth thank you to amber ruffin well be right back. This home is equipped with gig Speed Internet from xfinity. Theres this gametime internetting room. So fun. And then theres this workfromhome internetting room. Finally, the openconcept internetting room. This is not an open house. But your front door was open, so technically it is. Get gig speeds and the most wifi coverage from xfinity. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Enhance your online experience with even faster speed. Choose from a range of fast, reliable options, up to a gig. Click or call to learn more. Seth i want to thank my guest, john oliver i want to thank my friends, fred armisen and the 8g band stay tuned for lilly singh stay safe, wash your hands we love you. Daniel tonight, on a little late with Lilly Singh Lilly no sober person screams, mother [ bleep ] you skip me one more time, i will drop your body from the top of gumdrop mountain. Daniel and lilly over uber. What kind of music does the driver turn the radio to when you enter the car . What assumptions does he make . Uh, bollywood [ laughter ] daniel plus lilly from the new comedy carols second act, Sabrina Jalees and superstores nico santos [ cheers and applause you were recently at casual j. Los house party i mean [ scattered cheers ] lilly tell me everything jared leto was there. He was looking fine. Homeless, but fine [ laughter ] the first decision you make when you have a son is whether to trim his penis. [ audience ohs ] a real aggressive lesbian move, to be like, yeah. Cut the tip off [ laughter ]