Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20170909

Human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey how you . Whats going on man. Thank you so much. Welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause ed from crowd. Theres mow mistaking a friday crowd, man. cheers and applause yeah. You could take a core sample of this crowd, pull it out, and count the rings of friday. Thats how pure the friday crowd is tonight. Now, i hope everyone is staying safe from or evacuated away from hurricane irma. This thing is serious. Look at the Weather Channel apps actual forecast for miami beach this weekend 100 chance of rain, winds 127 miles an hour. Still, less chaotic than spring break at daytona beach. laughter we want to send thoughts and prayers to everyone affected. Also, thoughts and money. If you dont know where to give, tune in on tuesday to hand in hand, a telethon to benefit everyone affected by both hurricanes irma and harvey. I will be there, manning the phones. Give me a call. Who knows . You might learn something you dont know about me, like my pin number, which would also allow you to give more money. Louvre laugh good luck with that. Whoonl, what else is going on. Oh, yes, yesterday eldest son and man whose head makes its own gravy, donald trump jr. , had a really big day. O eon capitol hill. He met with Senate Judiciary committee investigators. See, hes been accused of having met with a russian lawyer in hopes of getting dirt on Hillary Clinton. But he explained it was all a big misunderstanding. In fact, he actually met with a russian lawyer in hopes of getting dirt on Hillary Clinton. laughter see, nothing to see here, folks because his testimony was not on camera. But that doesnt mean don jr. Is hiding, right . He came in. He avoided the cameras on the way in. They clearly do not want pictures of him doing this. He came in through a hidden loading dock deep in the bowels of the capitol. Stephen yes, the bowels of the capitol, where all of americas most courageous leaders are pooped out. Now, the New York Times obtained a copy of don jr. s statements where he reportedly maintains that nothing came of the trump tower meeting, therefore, he never colluded with the russian government. Right. That makes it perfectly legal. Like, if you rob a bank, and the vault turns out to be empty no harm, no foul can i have a free calendar . laughter but maybe the scariest russia story out there right now is the revelation that russialinked hackers breached 100 nuclear and conventional power plants just this year, which explains why the Palo Verde Nuclear power stations employee of the month was don. laughter so far, the hackers intrusions have been gathering intelligence technical diagrams, reports, passwords, and crypto keys. Crypto keys, by the way, was also the title of my allsynthesizer concept album. laughter applause , of course, it was the 80s. Jon i like that album stephen of course, every hacker group needs a cool name, and this being russia, they went with energetic bear. Energetic bear you might remember him as the most sexually active carebear. We might have made that up, for legal reasons. Now, so far, all these hackers have done is poke around. But some experts fear that its the first step of a plan to cause electrical blackouts. But without electricity, i wont be able to watch the news and please, god, hack our power plants laughter i havent slept since january 20th. laughter meanwhile, donald trump has just named a new head of nasa, oklahoma congressman jim bridenstein. Bridenstine, of course, was shortened at ellis island from bride of frankenstein. laughter but but had a natural there for a while. Looked very nice. Heres the deal bridenstine doesnt believe that humans are causing Climate Change. Interesting. The guy who doesnt believe in Climate Change is the one with easy access to spaceships. Everythings fine. Nothing to worry about. You keep fighting those storms. Ill be in this escape rocket. laughter now, critics point out that bridenstine is not a scientist or and engineer, though he was involved with a rocketpowered aircraft league. Think nascar, but with rocket planes. That sentence, think nascar, but with rocket planes, is the leading cause of death in north carolina. laughter and while bridenstine would be the first head of nasa without a science or engineering background, do not worry, because according to npr, hes a big fan of the moon. laughter applause great big fan of the moon why not . So hes just as qualified as my dog. laughter oh, speaking of space, speaking of space this is actually pretty big news. Big news from a galaxy far, far away audience whooo stephen thank you, weeky. Recently we learned that Jurassic World director Colin Trevorrow is out as director of Star Wars Episode ix. I believe we have a video of how he was fired. Ooh they always choke you on a friday. laughter lucasfilm has released a statement, saying that they have mutually chosen to part ways with the director, while Colin Trevorrow released a statement saying, if you strike me down, i shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Then his robe just collapsed. It was weird. There was nobody there. Now, this turnover is just the latest indication that not all is well in that wretched hive of scum and villainy we call hollywood, because it comes after disney fired the directors of the young han solo movie and had to do expensive reshoots on star wars rogue one. Plus, the aspca came down on them pretty hard for their treatment of chewbacca. laughter cheers and applause sorry. Wooo wooo episode ix is slated to come out in less than two years, so, obviously, disney is scrambling to fiewnd a replacement director as fast as possible. We thought we would help here at the late show by people we thought would do a great job. First up, if theres one thing i think we all agree the star wars films were missing, its 70s music and extended conversations about cheeseburgers. So get ready for Quentin Tarantinos Star Wars Episode ix everybody shoots first. Id watch that. Id watch that. Of course, tarantino can be a little polarizing, but Everybody Loves romantic comedy, so what about nancy meyers Star Wars Episode ix what wookiees want. laughter sometimes the droids you were looking for were right in front of you the whole time. laughter but one director is really throwing his hat in the ring for this job, even going ahead and making his own trailer. Ladies and gentlemen, presenting a new take on star wars from the nihilistic german director of fitzcaraldo and grizzly man, werner herzog. As far as away as a mothers affectionate glance or the cold touch of your lover, the evil forced order seeks control of the galaxy, forgetting that the galaxy itself is not but the infinite void. This is the way of things. In the desert, theres nothing but suffering. Life cannot sustain here, but truly, it cannot sustain anywhere. Death is inevitable, and in this, we find comfort. Look, mosquitoes dancing on the carcass of infinity, our agony lends us brilliance. I love this guy. He is a spunky little robot ball, and i like that. The searing of the lightsaber cannot compare to the unfeeling violence of our endless universe. laughter applause stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. Jessica biel is here. But when we return, it is friday confessions. Stick around take the zantac it challenge pill works fast . Zantac works in as little as 30 minutes. Nexium can take 24 hours. When heartburn strikes, take zantac for faster relief than nexium or your money back. Take the zantac it challenge. What would you do if you had even more time to explore . Open up the world with platinum. Backed by the service and security of american express. Open up the world with platinum. 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Have a lovely weekend. Now, folks folks, we are coming up on the weekend. This is a friday. Friday means were about to do Stephen Colberts midnight confessions. Which reminds me, this weekend, go out and get my book. Stephen colberts midnight confessions. Were going to milk this thing until theres nothing left. Therell be an audiobook, midnight confessions the broadway musical, which will be adapted into a movie midnight confessions tokyo drift, which then will then be novelized in book form. So dont miss the boat. Get in on the ground floor with midnight confessions. Dont fight it. Bring it cheers and applause we do midnight confessions because even though im a catholic, i dont make it to church as often as there is church. And what i miss most about the sacraments is confession. So if you dont mind, id like to confess to you, my audience. You wont tell anybody, right . Audience of course not stephen great. This is Stephen Colberts midnight confessions cheers and applause cheaper laughter stephen standard disclaimer i dont know if these are technically sins, but i do feel bad about them. Okay, ill be right back. Forgive me, audience, i have never preheated an oven. But i have preeaten a frozen pizza. laughter sometimes, sometimes, audience, i throw garbage out the car window while parked in my neighbors driveway. laughter my kid isnt an honor student. Hes just really good at forging bumper stickers. laughter sometimes i drink milk right out of the carbon. After i fill it with bourbon. laughter mmm. Mmm. cheers and applause daddys cows are flammable. laughter audience, i have a Overdue Library copy of 1984 that i was supposed to return in 1983. laughter my sleep number is pi. laughter whenever i ride a bicycle, i dont wear a helmet, because i want the ambulance drivers to think im cool. laughter im from South Carolina and im proud of it. But i still giggle when i hear the name gamecocks. laughter i secretly hope heaven has a v. I. P. Section for famous people, because i dont want to do selfies for eternity. laughter sometimes, sometimes i place orders at multiple dominos just so i can watch them race on the pizza tracker. laughter forgive me, audience . Audience we forgive you stephen thanks. Well be right back. Looking for adventure this labor day . Holy smokes. Oh man, thats pretty intense. Look no further than chevrolet. This is a fast car. I feel like i left my soul back there. Wow. This has power head to the chevy labor day sales event and ride out the summer in a new chevrolet. Now use labor day bonus cash to get fourthousand dollars total cash allowance on most Chevy Traverse models. Or, get 20 below msrp on select 2017 chevy models in stock. Find new roads at the chevy labor day sales event. The seal you can trust. With stain and sealer in one. And easy to choose colors. 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Whole wheat waffles . applause stephen hey, right there . Welcome back, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest is an actress youve seen in the illusionist, valentines day, and 7th heaven. Please welcome, jessica biel hey how are you . Good to see you. Come on up here. Hello, everybody cheers and applause hows it going . Stephen its going well. How are you doing . Im really good. Stephen well, weve never met before. No, we havent. Stephen we have never spoken before, but for the people out there, you have been an actor for over 20 years. Actress, producer. The only one to survive the texas chain saw massacre. True. Stephen thats got to be on the c. V. Some place. Absolutely. Stephen and obviously youre married to j. T. You make the scene, glam, glam, glam, glam. It is. You also have a twoyearold jiecialg yes, yes, we do. Stephen one of the leastglamorous things that could happen to someone. Thats very true. Stephen how many surfaces of your home are covered with what you hope is chocolate . laughter . Every square inch. And if its not the hopeful chocolate, its stickers and playdoh, and gak, and crumbs, and who knows . Its covered everything is covered with everything stephen are you still measuring in months at this point . No more, no more months. Stephen where did you stop on months . , 24 . Yes, done. Stephen are you in in the terrible twos. We are, were there. Stephen this is your first child. First. Stephen fending how the twos go, maybe only. Were going to take it one day at a time. Stephen i know if i meet someone and they call the twoyearolds terrible two its their first child because theyre nothing compared to the threes. Thats what i hear. Stephen if you say the terrible twos, you have havent had a threeyearold. I havent. To me this is terrible. I have heard about the threeteen s. Stephen the threeteens. I threeyearolds have called the threeteens. Stephen theyre as headstrong as the twoyearolds, but now theyre physically strong as well. Right. The things i have to ply out of his little, slimy hand. I dont know how hes s strong already. Stephen is he getting at the cut larry . What are you prying out of his hands. Everything. The little guy in his hand stephen a choking pazzard. A choking hazard or poking hazard. If you wake my kid up in the middle of the night by accident, youre dead to me. You know what i mean. Stephen oh, absolutely, absolutely. You come in my house and you do some crazy thing and you make too much noise, you turn on the music, are you out stephen how much does that happen, jessica biel . You know, people come in, theyre loud. They think theyre having a good time, and they forget. Stephen this is timberlakes friends, isnt it . Thats right. Not my friend. My friends are quiet, demure. Stephen youre a tv producer, hes in the music industry. Hes a wild musician. Stephen what is your young boys name . His name is silas. Stephen thats an oldfashioned name. Is it a family name. His grandfathers middle name and his greatgrandfathers name. Stephen it sound amish. Like an old southern gentleman guy. Stephen a biblical name, one of the church fathers, siular. Its not all terrible, by the way. Hes, like, the greatest of all time. Stephen there are some nice things about children. Im fella really bad. Hes cute, hes funny. Stephen were going to edit the part out where youre nice for him and years from now ill play this for his therapist. This is where all my problems come from. She hated me. Stephen you also have a childfriendly restaurant. Yes. Stephen what does that mean . You own this restaurant . Im one of the owners. Stephen oh, one of, okay, in los angeles. There are six of us. And it basically means you can come in with your wild, crazy family and just destroy the place and were fine with it. laughter stephen is there, like, a play area for the child . Yes, theres a play area. Stephen whats the name of it. Its called oh, fudge. Stephen oh, fudge, as in not saying another word . Thats right. As to what happens to your vocabulary when your a parent. You dont get to say the fun words anymore. Stephen also when you get a show on cbs. This is very much like being a parent. You understand on many levels what im talking about here. Stephen oh, fudge. Lets say i have my twoyearold, threeyearold and i go to oh, fudge. My wife and i, what can we do . You can enjoy a meal, the full bar, and send your kids to the creative space, the room next door, and we have ofudge au pairs. Stephen do they have a parover there . They have a bar over there. Were tranquilizing them, its great. Stephen and mom and dad, its like a good date night with child. We can get our drink on and make sure somebody is taking care of junior over there. Yeah. Stephen and call an uber, for sure. For sure. Stephen how long have you had this . Weve been open, oh, my gosh, almost two years. Its pretty new. applause . Thank you, thank you. Stephen theyre all parents. Theyre all booking their tickets to los angeles right now, just to have a cocktail in peace. Please come, please come and see us. Stephen you have a limited series, i think eight episodes, u. S. A. Network, called the sinner. Yes. Stephen and you are the sinner. Yes. Stephen and i dont think im giving anything away, where i say you murder a man with a steak nice. Its a butter knife. Stephen how hard are you chopping at somebody with a butter knife. Pretty hard. Stephen its not a whodunit . Its called a why done it . Youre not giving anything away. Immediately were telling you, this is the person who did this violent act. Opinion my character is saying, i did this thing. You should put me away. I dont want to talk about it. I dont want a lawyer. I want none of it. Just put me away. Stephen and the other seven episodes are. Just me sitting in a cell. Its very compelling. The detective becomes fixated on this case because this behavior is very unusual. Stephen it makes no sense. It make no sense at all. Something else is going on and hes obsessed and he unravels the case. Stephen up to this point you have been a model citizen. Yes, i have a family, a pretty normal life, and then you start to uncover the past this woman has. Stephen and i think we have a clip of you on the phone with bill pullman right here. Yes. Hello. You have to get me out of here. We really shouldnt be talking. Take me to where you think it happened the club, the basement. Maybe if i could just go, then i can remember the rest. Its the state Police Matter now. They wont let me take you out. Why not . Because they think im get to go close to you. Youve given up. Stephen another so not only are you starring in this, but youre also the executive producer. Yes. Stephen of this, of this show. applause thank you stephen sure. Why not . Yeah. Stephen why not . Ill take some applause. Stephen now, how does the executive producer feel about the star . Is, like, are you a diva to the producer side of you . What were your demands like in your contract negotiations . It was a tough it was a tough negotiation. Stephen yeah. The star won. She got what she stephen oh, wow, oh, wow. Thats not true. Heres the problem. Heres my issue, is im im a bit of a pushoafer producer but im kind of a bitchy star. Im struggling here. Who is going to win. And im a bad producer in the sense that i i want everyone to just be happy and feel good, and if, you know part of stephen thats not a terrible thing for a producer to be. I wish my producer was like that. laughter . Yeah, well, youre doing your job by not giving all these things. And my problem is, you know, if my actor comes to me and says, im not happy with this. I need this. Im like, no problem. Well fix it. We got it. You want more money, sure. You want a bigger trailer, great. You want a day off fine. And my producerring partners are going we cant do that. Stephen theyre like actors are animals. You can always rent another one. Thats right. Stephen theyre chattel. Im confused. I basically spent the entire shoot being terrible confused within myself, about myself. Stephen this is a murder mystery of a type. I understand that when you were younger, you actually wrote kind of dark stories of your own. When you were a child, you actually wrote your own little short stories that were kind of, maybe disturbing. Yeah, they were weird. They were intense and dark. I had this literally idyllic sort of stephen where did you grow up . Growing up in experience. I grew up in a couple of different places but mainly boulder, colorado. My family was great. It was very normal. I dont know, i was fixated on dark, scary, intense, dramatic things. Stephen did you write Horror Stories . I wrote, like, weirdo stories, but also i just wrote stories that were meant to intrigue you and meant to sound really cool that made no sense. Like, i think one of the titles was, the beginning of the never before. laughter stephen i guarantee you someone in hollywood would buy that based on the title. Thats the next harry potter right there the beginning of the never before. Maybe i really had something going on back then. Stephen the beginning of never before, its what happens at a time that never was. Exactly. Its very intriguing. Stephen executive producer, jessica biel. Good luck getting jessica biel, because shes a total diva. She is. Never going to happen. Stephen lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much. Stephen the sinner airs wednesdays on usa network. Jessica biel, everybody screaming i aint afraid to say it. Go blue ill kick it. She needs this kids. Mom needs this. screaming have some. Just get it done. 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Sign up online for free. Discover Social Security alerts. When i walked through for a cigarette, thats when i knew i had to quit. For real this time. Thats why im using nicorette. Only nicorette gum has patented dualcoated technology for great taste, plus intense craving relief. Every great why needs a great how. Throughout history, the one meal when we come together, break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. Just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh . Hey . I paused it. Bam, family time. So how is everyone . Find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back. You know my next guest tonight from the walking dead. She now hopes to live long and prosper as the star of Star Trek Discovery on cbs all access. Mission downed, 10 minutes, 15 seconds. Warning proximity alert. Scanning for database recognition. Iconography confirmed. Klingon. Im from the United Federation of stephen oh, thats not good. Please welcome Sonequa Martingreen. applause stephen im pretty damn excited. Oh, my gosh me, too stephen how long first of all, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Stephen i work at cbs and i i havent had a chance to see this yet. They are being super protective of this show. Yeah, extra lockdown. Stephen it takes place before the original series, right . Yes, 10 years before. 10 years before. And were were were discovering a lot, discovering each other through the discovery of ourselves, honestly. Stephen the theres a little crossover between the two series. Tell me if im getting anything wrong or stop me if im saying something no one is supposed to know is that your character one of the crossovers between your series and the original is that seric who is spocks father, raises you. Yes. Stephen but youre not vulcan. Right. Stephen youre human. Yes. Stephen but your parents were killed by klingons. Yeah. Yes. I stephen im a little obsessed about any details i can get out of it. Yes. Stephen do you have a motion if you were raised by vulcans . I do because i am human. Stephen okay. So i am a human in the culture of vulcan, right. So theres assimilation happening there. And theres Culture Shock that happened there. Stephen how much of the audition was just doing this . You know, thats real good. Stephen thanks. Except your thumb has to stephen has to be on the side . You need to bring your thumb out like that it came quite naturally, so meant to be. Stephen the vulcan philosophy. Yes. Stephen the basis of it. Yes. Stephen and correct me if im wrong. Obviously, youve been raised by vulcans. Get it right. Stephen infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Does america need a little star trek right now . Are you kidding me. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Things are at a fever pitch at this point, division and separatist thinking. So i feel people need to see i think its so important because people need to see what we can be and what we can become. And i think thats what this show does. It always has so were just going boldly in the way it always has. Stephen the original show of all the shows, but gene rottenberry created the original show, dealt with current social societal issues of all kind. Yes. Stephen by putting them in space. Yes, because, honestly, the fantasy of it provides a sort of it takes away the barrier, right. So people can let go. They can suspend their disbelief and be imaginative, and then in doing that, the message comes through subconsciously. Thats the beauty of scifi, right. Stephen wow, sounds like youre brainwashing us. And then. Stephen cbs is theyve thrown the kitchen sink at this. This is a huge production. What is what is, like the craziest locale or the biggest thing that you were involved in doing in shooting this . Yeah, oh, man. Okay, everybody is on their top game, number one. I do have to say that, behind the camera and in front of the camera. We shot in jordan, and the jordanian crew, they were amazing, so warm and welcome. The prince of jordan came to visit set one day. And he brought his son. And they were trek fans which was amazing, and i was so threne off because i go, how do you how do you greet royalty . This is my first time. Do i do you need me to bow . Do i need to curtsy . Am i gonna have to kiss his hand . Thats fine, if thats customary. What exactly do i need to do here . And he was so down to earth, the handshake was fine. It was kind of anticlimactic, actually. Stephen youre american, you say i bow to no king. All right, all right. Dont bow. Dont bow. Now, youre from alabama, from a small town, right . I am. Stephen what was the name of that town. Russellville. Stephen that is a small town in alabama. It is. It is the epitome of a small town. Stephen how old were you when you came to los angeles . My first trip to los angeles was in 2010. And i had always dreamt of l. A. , so my husband, kendrick, was driving me through beverly hills. I was so excited, couldnt believe it. And i also have this dream that a stranger will invite me in for tea. Stephen in los angeles . Sure. Wherever. Right. I just have stephen no. laughter . Maybe not wherever. Stephen maybe not wherever. Maybe jordan. Maybe jordan, theyre so warm there. Stephen why did you think people in los angeles would invite you in for tea . Because they dont. I know, right. They dont, right. But i had such hopeful thinking. Stephen but based on what . Based on my own dreams. Stephen okay. You see. Stephen okay. Based on what i believe. Stephen uhhuh. Is that what you told is that what you told the police when you tried to i know, right. Wait till you hear it. Were driving through, and i say, that mansion, baby. I want to go there. And im going to knock on the door, its going to be and, of course, he is trying to wash me. Stephen you told your husband to pull over so you could knock on the door of a strangers house and detea . Uhhuh. Not demand, because the dream is they invite me and ask. Stephen and how do they know that Sonequa Martingreen . I told them, i say, no, baker listen, just go with me. It will be okay. Im going to smile really big. Theyre going to know immediately ill not a threat. And theyre going to go oh, look. Shes a young woman. Shes nice and theyll say, come on in. And theyll go randily, do you want soma tea . and ill say yes. That was the dream. And we rolled up to this house. As a black man so supportive, yes, i did marry a good man. Hes behind me, about five feet behind me. I knock on the door. But, see, what i didnt think about was security systems. So they had an intercom system, and then i didnt think about dogs, because they were barking right on the other side of the door. And so i i i just stopped, and the woman a come answers, the woman of the home, ooum assuming. And she goes, hello . And i said i froze, and kendrick was like, say something, baby. And i said, hi. You you dont know me. But i think you have a beautiful home. laughter and she says, thanks. laughter and i said, okay, bye. And then i walk away, and i go, why didnt that work . laughter applause why didnt that work . Stephen so you blamed someone else. It shouldnt have gone that way. Stephen would you like some tea . I would. See . Stephen i dont have any. It was lovely to meet you thank you for being here. Lovely to meet you. Thank you. Stephen Star Trek Discovery premieres september 24 on cbs all access. Sonequa martingreen, everybody. Well be right back, stick around. Buy one take one is back starting at 12. 99 at olive garden. Come in for a fan favorite like smoked mozzarella chicken here and leave with a great meal too. Buy one take one. Hurry in, its only for a limited time. At olive garden. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, back back to the show already in progress. Well, its friday, and what a crazy week its been. Donald trump threatened to rescind daca unless congress does something. And hurricane savaged the crib cran. Houston is still digging out. I never want to see or hear anything about that stuff again unless doing so fills an act of my show tonight. This is the best of this weeks the late show. What do you like better, ready, made in america . Made in the u. S. A. . What do you like . You like made in the u. S. A. . Seems to be. We should pick one or the other probably. Stephen yeah, we should definitely pick one, and then the Electoral College can pick the other. laughter applause it seems i think thats how it works. Republicans wanted to raise the debt ceiling to cover the next 18 mongst . The next 18 mongst, so the democrats couldnt use it as a negotiating tool before the next midterm elections. The democrats wanted to cover only three months and they convinced trump, probably right at this moment, when Chuck Schumer seems to be saying, whos a good president . You are. Somebody else has a book right now, Hillary Clinton does. And she remembers you from the campaign. laughter laughter . Stephen its true. And faced with a choice between hillarys daily workout plan and bernies nominute abs, america went with potato ass. Secretary clinton ran against the most unpopular candidate in the history of this country and she lost, and she was upset about it, and i understand that. But our job now is really not to go backwards. It is to go forwards. Stephen are you running again . And are you prepared to be blamed next time for trumps reelection . laughter before he was elected, i sexist things would happen all the time in my life. And i would kind of go, you know what . Im fine. I dont need to unpack that. I dont need to take that apart. Im lucky. Im doing fine. Im just going to take that. And after he was elected, i went, im not going to take it anymore. cheers and applause . The nation must set and enforce a limit on how many immigrants we admit each year, and that means all cannot be accepted. This does not mean they are bad people or that our nation disrespects or demeans them in any way. Stephen youre right, jeff, deporting innocent children does not mean theyre bad people. It means youre a bad person. cheers and applause and bannon defends trump ending daca, even though bannon is a catholic, and the church opposes this decision. I totally respect the pope, and i totally respect the catholic bishops and cardinals on doctrine. This is not about doctrine. This is about the sovereignty of a nation. And in that regard, theyre just another guy with an opinion. Stephen yeah, steve, and now that youre not at the white house, so are you. cheers and applause charlie very much like the pope. Stephen you are not the most political, but you die guys talk about trump over there . Well, you know, world of your difficult situation has reached us. laughter applause stephen across the pond. Yeah. Stephen across the pond. Stephen thats a really oddly casual way to describe exhausted First Responders racing to save lives. It reminds me of f. D. R. s pearl harbor speech. The United States of america was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the empire of japan. But thats the way the cookie crumbles. laughter . Stephen yeah. He took he took it with a lot of aplumb. He took it easily. Yeah, he was very big about did. You played a lot of tough guys. Saber tooth, donovan is a tough guy. Are you a tough guy . No. Stephen youre not a tough guy . No, i dont know why i do that. I think im absent minded and i think that face of forgetting things laughter applause translates on film as tough. Stephen i get it cheers and applause stephen well be right back. applause . Stephen hey, everybody thats it for the late show. See you next week. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show ladies and gentlemen, all the way from schenectady,