President trump, are you willing tonight to condemn White Supremacists and militia groups . crickets its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight shut up, man plus, stephen welcomes john lithgow and jonathan alter. Featuring jon batiste and stay homein. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan Theater Office building in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen hey, everybody welcome to a late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. I dont know about you, but i am still recovering from last nights agonizing president ial shoutfest, in which donald trump interrupted joe biden over 70 times while Chris Wallace tried to stop him like a baby throwing pennies at a battleship. Trump was out of control the entire evening. The whole thing gave a new meaning to the term white noise. But i dont know what Chris Wallace was supposed to do. At the next debate, they should just give the moderator a button to bring on the slime. Im not the only one who despised last nights debate. According to a cbs poll, of the people who watched it, 69 felt annoyed. Annoyed. Really, evidently, gouging out my eyes with a grapefruit spoon was not an option. Surprisingly, the very same poll found that 17 of debate watchers came away feeling informed. Really . 17 felt informed after watching that . What did they learn . I learned that when they go low, they can actually go much lower. A cnn poll also found that six in 10 say biden won the debate. Won . I take exception to that. There are no winners here, except for aris, the trickster god of chaos. A winner implies a contest where the parties follow agreedupon rules to reach a specific goal. This was more like watching a basketball game where the final score was the beautiful flames. They talk to me upon one thing that experts agree on is debates dont really change anything. So nothing is going to change, and we have to do this two more times you know what they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting donald trump to shut up. Its hard to watch any of this and believe anyone could still be out there undecided, but they evidently are. And last night, there was a focus group of these mentally impaired unicorns organized by republican pollster and guy drunk dialing batman, frank luntz. Luntz hi, frank gathered 15 undecideds to respond to the debate over zoom. Oh, please, please can we do the next debate over zoom . as moderator mr. President , im putting you on mute. No, dont share your screen your tabs arent safe for work and luntz asked them this question michelle, word or phrase to describe donald trump tonight . Horrid. Sarah . Chaotic. Rob . Unpolished. Ruthy . Crackhead. Stephen crackhead. How dare you malign the good name of crackheads. Unlike donald trump, crackheads have a clear policy give me some crack. One focus group member offered this screaming stephen youre supposed to use the dial, merrill. Just use the dial. But despite their harsh words about trump, the voters still couldnt make up their minds postdebate, like jennifer from pennsylvania, who said this oh, i am definitely undecided. I have no clue who im going to vote to for. I dont know whos going to get my vote. I want to see another debate. Stephen what . At this point, i truly do not know what could sway undecided voters. Well, the one guy makes me embarrassed to live in my country. But the other guy is sleepy, according to the first guy who, again, is a total psychopath. So, its a coin toss. Jennifer wasnt alone. Rob from iowa said this that was embarrassing. Personally, its a dartboard for me right now, whos gonna win it. Stephen really . Because watching trump, my reaction was less dartboard and more tranq dart the only thing i havent done a good job, and its because of the fake news. Its just fake news. Stephen its fine. Theyre going to put an ear tag on him and release him back into the wild. Hes got a very high threshold for pain. One focus group member did stand out from the rest by delivering a clear, concise opinion of the president. Heres luke from Wisconsin Trump is annoying. Hes unpresident ial. Hes annoying. And its like nails on a chalkboard. Stephen yes, finally thank you, luke. Youre living proof that undecided voters are capable of seeing the light and but him acting that way doesnt necessarily impact my bottom line. Stephen uh, meryl, if you dont mind . screaming stephen thank you. But the most horrifying moment of this or really any debate was when the president of the United States did not condemn White Supremacy. Are you willing tonight to condemn White Supremacists and militia groups sure. Im willing to do anything. I want to see peace then do it, sir. Do it. Say it. You wanna call them . What do you wanna call them . Give me a name. Gie me a name. White supremicists and right wing militia. Proud boys, stand back and stand by. Stephen thats not denouncing. Thats troubling. Its like when the debate moderator asked nixon to denounce psychotic thrillkill cults, and he said manson family, stand back and stand by. Have you seen the little piggies crawling in the dirt . Helter skelter. Helter skelter he said that. I legally could not make that joke unless he actually said that. If im wrong, mr. Nixon, call me. The proud boys heard trumps message loud and clear, because within minutes, Group Members called the president s comment a tacit endorsement of their violent tactics. Now, thats just not fair. There was nothing tacit about it. Thats like saying cardi b offered a tacit endorsement of natural lubrication. The president s choice of words was so inspiring to these racist numbskulls that today, the proud boys started selling merch with their new catchphrase. A good indication that you didnt properly denounce someone is when they make your denounciation their new slogan. Thats why joe mccarthy never wore a tshirt that said, at long last, sir, have you no decency . Now this is a weird little detail. The proud boys name is a reference to a song from the staged musical version of the disney film aladdin. Its an obscure reference to broadway. But thats just what you expect from toxic rightwing alpha males show tunes fosse, fosse, goose step, fosse, fosse, shoot. The group has staunch rightwing beliefs, including venerating the housewife. Listen, i hope they have good lawyers, because thats also the name of andy cones new bravo show most alarmingly, their platform also includes a pledge to refuse to masturbate. Which is odd because their white power hand gestures look like theyre ready to, lets say, flog the furor at any moment. Where did they recruit these young men . as mom knocking what are you doing in there, johnny . as teen nothing. God, just planning a race war and what do they mean, refuse . Whos out there demanding that they masturbate . as proud boy all these socialist feminists with their yoga pants and sports bras want me to hammer my own sickle ooh, they would love me to seize my own means of production not today, comrade no, down, down the Southern Poverty Law Center describes the proud boys as a fight club fraternity of young white, protrump men. Might seem like an odd comparison, but remember this scene from the movie the first rule of fight club is dont masturbate the second rule of fight club is dont masturbate stephen speaking of wankers; donald trump. The president apparently didnt get his fill of screaming into a camera last night, so he helped himself to some leftover rage in tonights edition of chopper talk stephen well, it seems like somebody in the white house started looking at the numbers and realized that siding with a Violent Hate Group doesnt poll well with suburban women, because today, trump said this i dont know who the proud boys are. I mean, youll have to give me a definition, because i really dont know who they are. Stephen as trump i dont know any proud boys. My boys eric and don junior are ashamed boys. And they should be. If they were just born girls, i could have had two more ivankas now, he continued by saying the people who he doesnt know should stop doing any of the things he doesnt know about any of them doing. Again, i dont know who proud boys are. But whoever they are, they have to stand down, let Law Enforcement do their work. Stephen notice he didnt actually denounce the proud boys. So his walkback still had a hint of goose step. While trump rambled about new york, one reporter gave him one more chance to clearly and definitively denounce White Supremacy. And he clearly and definitively took a pass. They should stop Defunding Police like they have done in new york but were talking about White Supremacists, sir. Like theyve done in new york. I just told you. But do you denounce them . Do you denounce ive always denounced any form of White Supremacy . Any form any form of any of that, you have to denounce. Stephen didnt say it again as lady donald, do you love me . as trump you gotta love and love is you gotta do it. Ive always said i love loving, in any form. But again, he tried a variation on the very fine people on both sides thing. But i also joe biden has to Say Something about antifa. Its not a philosophy. These are people that hit people over the head. Stephen as trump these people are head boppers, little bunny antifoo running through the forest, pickin up the proud boys, and boppin em on the head. With tuna cans. Still, trump feels good about last nights debate, because, uh, ratings . I thought the debate last night was great. Weve gotten tremendous reviews on it. I thought it was a great evening. It was an exciting evening, i see the ratings were very high. Stephen just because a lot of people watch something doesnt mean something is good. I hear public executions were quite popular in their day. That doesnt mean we should have a tv show called so you think you can have a head. And for the record, hes lying. The ratings for the debate were sharply down. Thats such an easily checkable lie and he just doesnt care. Its like were in that George Orwell novel, you know the one with the pigs that stood on their hind legs . Because its 2020, the belowthefold story today is the president of the United States committing massive tax fraud and raiding the treasury of the United States to keep his failed Business Empire afloat. All week, the New York Times has been reporting on trumps taxes from the last 20 years. On monday, we found out that in the two years before the apprentice debuted, trumps side income was mostly confined to 500,000 for appearing in the big n tasty burger ad. I cant believe mcdonalds paid him half a million dollars. Dont they know they could have just given him rhw burgers . And trump may have gotten more than money from the deal. Take a look at the ad its amazing a big and tasty for just a dollar . How do you do it . Whats your secret . I dont pay any federal taxes. Huhhuh stephen trump also received 50,000 from the lifetime channel for a juicy nighttime soap that never materialized. Oooh, a trump soap opera we couldve had the days of our wives. As the world burns, and all of my children. That i know of. And now, a new layer has been added to the turdwich, because while his businesses were all failing, trump reportedly made tens of millions during the Great Recession by partnering with multilevel marketing companies. Now, for those of you who dont know, multilevel marketing is a sketchy Business Model where you rope in people to sell a product, then they also rope in others to work for them, and all the money flows up to the top. And if you still dont get it, come over this weekend. I have a fantastic Business Opportunity i think youd be perfect for. Have you ever heard of herbalax drinkable algae colonic supplements . Its going to be huge. Now, in his biggest pyramid scheme, worth 8 million, trump teamed up with a multilevel marketing company, acn, whose clients were told they could make a living from home by selling video phones. And acn was such a scam that, on their own website, they posted a page titled the difference in acn and a pyramid scheme. If you have to say that, i think youve got a problem. I brought this chart explaining that i dont have a cocaine addiction. Its more of a multilevel cocaine opportunity. And i think youre the kind of smart investor who has what it takes to blow things up my nose. Weve got a great show for you tonight. My guests are john lithgow and author jonathan alter. But when we return, Senate Republicans are running scared. Stick around. This week on the upper hands. Special guest flo challenges the hand models to show off the ease of comparing rates with progressives home quote explorer. International hand model jonjon gets personal. Your wayward pinky is grotesque. Then a high stakes pattycake Battle Royale ends in triumph. You have the upper hands its a race to the lowest rate, and so much more. Only on the upper hands. Now any order can be rewarding when you use the app. No matter how you pay, youll be closer to earning rewards and getting more of your favorites for free. More ways to pay, more ways to get rewarded. Starbucks rewards. Tonight, try pure zzzs alled. Night. Unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. And longer. Zzzquil pure zzzs all night. Fall asleep. Stay asleep. Dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh light it up, dynamite shining through the city with a little funk and soul so ima light it up like dynamite cause, ahah, shining through the city with a little funk and soul im a light it up like dynamite, whoa shining through the city withcontactless deliveryoul tarright to your door,very designed for your day. So you can work out, join in, and game on. Just download the target app and try it today. Hersheys. The original cookies n creme. In the tubbs fire. The flames, the ash, it was terrifying. Thousands of family homes are destroyed in wildfires. Families are forced to move and higher property taxes are a huge problem. Prop 19 limits taxes on wildfire victims so families can move without a tax penalty. Nineteen will help rebuild lives. Vote yes on 19. Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Lets say hi to jon batiste. Hello, jon jon hello, stephen. Whats the word. Stephen whats the word, thunder . Youre not old enough to know that ad. Im not old enough to know that ad. Thunderbird wine. Jon oh, no, i like that. I like that, whats the word, thunderbird. Stephen whats the price 30 for a full quart. Thats the deal right there. Jon talk about that fred sanford used to talk about. Stephen sham. Ile. Champagne and ripple. Champipple. Youre youre youre such a choir boy. You dont drink. You dont smoke. Its just you, the piano, and the lord all the time. I admire that. Jon yeah, i wish, i mean, something about the piano, when you play i was just playing some of this. You get high off that. Stephen yeah. What is that . Jon thats phillip glass opening. Stephen what is that . Jon thats from his very first solo piano record. It was just his piano works, it was called. Stephen jon, before we go on with the show, did you have any avanity guard piano to share with us . laughs . Jon yeah, of course, always. Lets see. Stephen please. Stephen always a pleasant resolution. Thank you, jon. laughs jon batiste, everybody. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen folks, in less than five weeks, were having what many are calling the most election of our lifetime. But theres more at stake here than just getting rid of donald trump. Theres also winning back the senate and getting rid of Senate Majority leader and five pounds of face in a threepound mask, mitch mcconnell. If the democrats pick up four senate seats, looks like mcconnell will be a backbencher. Thanks to trump shanking the pandemic, republicans are struggling in a lot of red states races. Take South Carolina senator Lindsey Graham, seen here stuffing the lies back in. In 2016, my home state went to donald trump by almost 15 points, but the latest polls out of the palmetto state have graham virtually tied with his democratic challenger, jaime harrison. A harrison win would be amazing. If Lindsey Graham gets thrown out, South Carolina wont have anything left to embarrass it, other than adult men wearing madras. A big reason graham is on the ropes is the cash, the green stuff. Harrison is pulling in massive donations, so now a tearful graham has been hitting fox news to pass the hat. If you want to help me and other republicans, get in the game. They are killing us financially. My opponent is going to raise 80 million. I need conservatives to help me. You need to help us all. Im being outspent four to one, outraised five to one. I need some help. Help me. Theyre killing me moneywise. Help me. You did last week. Help me again. Stephen as graham help me, please ill do anything. I think ive proven that oppose trump, support trump. I cant sell my soul to the devil. He knows that thing is a worthless husk the devil lowballed me. And i also dont have any balls. Well be right back with jon lithgow. I gave them to trump find your rhythm. Your happy place. Find your breaking point. Then break it. Every emergenc gives you a potent blend of nutrients so you can emerge your best with emergenc. Is now even more powerful. The stronger, lastslonger energizer max. It was kind of a shock after i started cosentyx. Im still clear, five years now. Cosentyx works fast to give you clear skin that can last. Real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. 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Vote yes on prop 16. All californians will be able to vote safely from home. Every active, registered voter will receive a votebymail ballot with a unique barcode. You can track it using wheres my ballot . And youll receive automatic notifications by text, email or voice call to let you know the status of your ballot once you mail it, drop it off at your polling place or at a drop box. Vote by mail ballots. Simple, safe, secure. Counted. Learn more at vote. Ca. Gov stephen welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. My first guest tonight is a tony and Emmy Awardwinning actor you know from bombshell, the crown, terms of endearment, and just so much more. Please welcome back to a late show my friend and yours, john lithgow. Its good to see you. Stephen its always lovely to see you. Some guests are like a vacation. Theres no effort. Its just sitting down and chatting with someone. Thank you for being here. But i want you on your game. Stephen sorry, let me get a little coffee. Professional show business right now. Before before we get any further, as i said in your intro, i named three wonderful things that you had done at random. You have so many things on your c. V. To pick from. What would you pick for your intro . What works of yours what roles youve played, what shows youve been in would you say, those are the definitive lithgow roles . You know, i would have to say that my performance of the Campaign Press release of Newt Gingrich on the colbert report some years ago. That would have to be my finest performance ever. Remember that night . Stephen i urge everyone to go to whatever web site theyve stored that stuff on these days, and find it. Lithgowgingrich. Truly. It holds up. It holds up. And im stopped three, four times on every block recalling that performance. Stephen well, how about this . So thats what you would pick, and i dont blame you. What do people like, when people walk down the street and you realize oh, they recognize you and you know theyre about to come over to you and say i love x, y, or z what youve done. What do they usually pick . You know, its usually the most recent. Recently its been a lot of the crown, and bombshell. Third rock from the sun and dexter. If someone comes up to me with a hammer and wants me to autograph it, i know theyre big dexter fans. Stephen you know to get away quickly. No, i dutifully sign. Stephen thats nice. There are a lot of autographed hammers out there. Stephen i understand and i was this is actually kind of a nice nice thing is that i found out that youre mistaken for another great performer sometimes. Who is that . You know, yes. Don clease. I wish i had a nickel for every time. And jon appeared on third rock from the son with us, as my doppelganger. So it happens. Thats explainable. Stephen its a compliment. When they ask for my autograph, i dutifully sign. Stephen you sign john clease . You know, what else am i going to sign, stephen. Stephen to you affect a british accent for this . No, if i have to explain everything, it prolongs the interaction. So anyway, im a huge fan of john clease. So i take it as an enormous compliment. Stephen you know, i want to have different with you, lithgow. Weve got to have dinner. Weve talked about it for many years. We have. Stephen my wife and your wife and all go to dinner. I had dinner with clease, rcently. Did you. Stephen it was a huge thrill for me. A lovely guy. H bought a very expensive bottle of white wine, and it was very lovely, and now i have to compare dinner. I have to compare my cleases. You might get confused. Were often mistaken for each other. Stephen you have a new book here. Trumpty dumpty wanted a crown. Verses for a despotic age. It came out yesterday. You wrote it and illustrated. When did you first start writing poetry . Oh, i as a matter of fact, i by an amazing coincidence, just like a week or two ago, like, a best friend of my older sister, two years older than i, a woman named jessica andrews. She sent me, after all these years, a photocopy of a page from her autograph book from 1955, which i had signed for her. And just for the occasion stephen she knew she knew you were going to be so great back then she asked you to sign her autograph book. She didnt know what i was going to do. Stephen did you sign it john clease . You know, i dngt think of it at the time. I was nine years old. I wrote, jessica, coke and bottles, jelly and jars, faces like yours come from mars. John lithgow. Turns out, this was the beginning of my career as a poeet. This is a classic document. Stephen nicely done. Thats a collectors item. And not a bad poem, i might add. Stephen not at all. Now, you you did something that very few authors do. I understand that you have brought a clip of your book. And im not sure how that works. Yes. Stephen what do you mean you have a clip of the book . You know, not many authors have a clip of their book, but this is the covid era. You cant do a book tour. So i a couple of months ago, i thought of a bright idea. I called on my director friend tim van patten. He he called up these three brilliant young guys he works with and created something called tryptic studio. I called up 19 of my absolutely terrific actor friends, and a couple of politico journalists, too, even an epidemiologist. I asked them to record a single poem of mine, just as were recording now, in their living room, on their iphone, and send them in to these cryptic studio guys. Among all of us we have spun together 21 little twominute videos of my poems, including my illustrations brought to life with very simple animation. And were rolling them out, like, once every four, five days. Stephen whats the clip were about to see . Youre about to see the great meryl streep reading from my poem the toreys or the tiger king. Its an allegory of donald trump. Youll see. Having crave edge failed to derail or unhorse him, the toreys were finally forced to endorse him. Despite how he made them all tremble and cower, they decided at last they would ride him to power. Civilly justice and reason took wing as dumpty was crowned the supreme tiger king. Then with murderous appetite savage and hearty, he ate every soul in the grand torey party. Pretty cool, right . Stephen that is fantastic. That is fantastic. Not everybody can call in a favor from meryl streep. Nicely done. Merrill and sam close, and sam jackson, whoopie goldberg. Its this marvelous bunch of people. Stephen did you not did you not i didnt i must have gotten gotten lost in the email. I never got the request. You were this is gospel truth. You were on our list, but i was a little afraid you would be anxious about conflict of interest. laughs i dont know why. Stephen im such a strong supporter of the president. I understand. Thank you for being so sensitive. I understand you have been doing something during quarantine. You have been working at something you can already do but have become the master of it. Speed sketching. What is speed sketching . You know, well, its simply hitting video the little video button, stopaction button on your oh, god on your iphone. And it speeds things up. But just for you, i brought along props and showandtell equipment. Stephen okay. I decided to do a speed drawing of Stephen Colbert. Stephen is that pad blank right now . Its blank now, but im going to draw you. This prearranged by your wonderful. Watch this. Im not even using. Iphone technology. Okay. This is my little gift to you. Not bad, huh . Stephen not bad at all. Okay, there you go. How many timeses have you been portrayed by in pen and ink on your show . Stephen im honored. Im honored. And i need to get a signed copy of this, too, if you dont mind, john. Its already on the way. It is. There again, gospel truth. Stephen and dinner . You know, and dinner. Evy and mary. Stephen and next time youre in new york because i dont come to los angeles. That should be about five years from now. These days, i cant come to new york. Ill get there, ill get there. Stephen stephen his new book, Trumpty Dumpty wanted a crown, is available now. Mr. John lithgow, everybody well be right back with author jonathan alter. Stick around. Type 2 diabeteserywhereh are waking up to whats possible with rybelsus®. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Rybelsus® works differently than any other diabetes pill to lower blood sugar in all 3 of these ways. Increases insulin. Decreases sugar. And slows food. The majority of people taking rybelsus® lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than 7. People taking rybelsus® lost up to 8 pounds. Rybelsus® isnt for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Dont take rybelsus® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. Stop rybelsus® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. Serious side effects may include pancreatitis. Tell your provider about vision problems or changes. Taking rybelsus® with a sulfonylurea or insulin increases low blood sugar risk. Side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration which may worsen kidney problems. Wake up to whats possible with rybelsus®. Please dont take my sunshine away. You may pay as little as 10 per prescription. Ask your Healthcare Provider about rybelsus® today. Imagine the places well go. Together. Expedia killer attitude. Nevor hydration. Neutrogena® hydro boost. The 1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer delivers 2x the hydration for supple, bouncy skin. Neutrogena®. Now any order can be rewarding when you use the app. No matter how you pay, youll be closer to earning rewards and getting more of your favorites for free. More ways to pay, more ways to get rewarded. Starbucks rewards. More ways to get rewarded. Knowinits hard. Re is hard. Eliminate who you are not first, and youre going to find yourself where you need to be. The race is never over. The journey has no port. The adventure never ends, because we are always on the way. Stephen welcome back, everybody. My next guest is an msnbc analyst and New York Times bestselling president ial biographer. His latest book, on the life and times of jimmy carter, is called his very best. Please welcome to a late show, jonathan alter. Jon, good to see you. Hi, stephen. Stephen people out there dont know, but for reasons we dont have to get into right now, you were a person who was a great resource for me over at the colbert report. You gave us perspective on what happens happening politically frequently on that show. And you have a real view on the history of the politics in america. Have you ever seen anything like the debate we saw last night . You know, no. It is completely unprecedented. Its also an extraordinarily embarrassing moment for our country. And i kind of ache for our country after seeing that. You know, the whole world is watching, and this man is, you know, a menace to public health, a menace to our country, a menace to democracy. And thats what the real issue is now, is that hes made it clear that he will not accept the results of the election if they dont go his way. We have literally never seen anything like that in our whole history. George washington, after a second term, he stepped down as president. And that set the precedent, really, for the first time in the whole world, of a peaceful transfer of power. After that, every election, there was a peaceful transfer of power, even when it was extraordinarily close, went to the house of representatives, there still was that transfer of power. Stephen well, lets talk about a president who is much malined during his term, and certainly his presidency has been maligned since, but he invented the postpresident. Ask that is jimmy carter. The book is called his very best. Do you think carter is misunderstood . You know, he is completely misunderstood. I mean, it starts with, you know, this kind of lazyminded assumption, which is very common and understandable, that he was a bad president and a great former president. In fact, he was an underrated, misunderstood president. And, you know, an inspirational former president , but he hasnt had any levers of power, you know, to do to make real change. Hes helped eradicate disease. He did some peacemaking. Hes built houses, as people know. Hes monitored elections overseas all great work by the carter center. He revolutionized what former president s do. But he did so much more when he was in office. The problem is that he was a political failure and a stylistic failure at a certain point. I argue that even though he was a political failure and got his butt kicked by Ronald Reagan in 1980 and made a lot of mistakes, he was a substantive and farsighted, even visionary success. Eight out of 14 environmental bills he signed. He signed more legislation than any president , except for lyndon johnson, since world war ii. And many of them changed many of these bills changed the country in fundamental ways. The press just wasnt paying attention to it. Stephen i know you sat down with the president many times for this book. He cooperated with this biography. He did. Stephen what surprised you about the man . I know hes in his 90s now. What did you not expect . Well, you know, i think a lot of it was just the modesty of his life, and the fact that, you know, he and rosalyn, they sleep on a murphy bed when theyre in atlanta. They spend most of their time in past on the road traveling to 120 Different Countries doing good works. But, you know, in atlanta, they sleep on a murphy bed at the carter center. And, you know, he cut the grass for a long time, until quite recently, at their church. And theyre very active in, you know, local Things Church supper on paper plates. Things about their lives. Mrs. Carter gave me the love letters which he wrote her from the navy. Which are very steamy. Stephen really . You know, and they are quite a bit beyond john and Abigail Adams in their explicitness. Stephen are they in the book . Theyre in the book. Stephen i think you moved some paper. We have a sexy peanut farmer in here. And some awesome stuff i found out about him. At one point he went door to door as a missionary, and he came across a broth expel tried to convert the madam. He is not intolerant of people not as religious as him. He became friendly with bob dylan. Gonzo hunter helped make carter president. One of the reasons i wanted that andy warhol of him on the cover is there was a time when he was very cool, and i think a Younger Generation is kind of rediscovering him now, in part because he is the untrump. Stephen his 96th birthday is tomorrow. Other than buying this brilliant bigraphy of jimmy carter, how can people celebrate it . First of all, thank you for the colbert bump. Stephen you got it. So i think the way to honor him is he is asking for people not to give right now to the carter center, but to give for covid relief. There are a lot of countries that that are in real danger and dont have the resources we have, even though weve suffered worse than any other major country. And, also, he feels really strongly, because hes monitored all these elections, about the integrity of elections, and i think he would urge people to be poll watchers, to, you know, bring friends to vote for biden, not just yourself. Maybe use the call tools so you can call into battleground states to get out the vote. And i think that the greatest 96th birthday present that anybody could give him would be to work their butts off for joe biden and save our democracy stephen his book, his very best, is out now. The man is jonathan alter, everybody. When we come back, one of my writers heads out into the wilds of covid parenthood. Stick around. That helps you turn the stressed life. Into your best life. Stress less and live more. With stressballs. But she wanted someone who loves with the cats. Ng. So, we got griswalda. Dinners almost ready. But one thing we could both agree on was getting geico to help with our renters insurance. Yeah, switching and saving was really easy drink it all up. Good could have used a little salt. Visit geico. Com and see how easy saving on renters insurance can be. Ittake an extra 20 off. Ly sale get fleece for the family 15. 99 and under. The new fitbit inspire 2 is 99. 99. And get family denim 17. 59 and under. Plus, get kohls cash. Plus, free store pickup. Find a little more this fall. Thats why i take osteo biflex, to keep me moving the way i was made to. It nourishes and strengthens my joints for the long term. Osteo biflex. Find our coupon in sundays paper. The unfair money bail system. He, accused of rape. While he, accused of stealing 5. The stanford rapist could afford bail; got out the same day. The Senior Citizen could not; forced to wait in jail nearly a year. Voting yes on prop 25 ends this failed system, replacing it with one based on public safety. Because the size of your wallet shouldnt determine whether or not youre in jail. Vote yes on prop 25 to end money bail. Radical left. Will you shut up, man. Listen, who is on your list . You know, i forgot the name. gulping i wont doant wear masks like him. Whenever you see him he wears a mask. Dont ever use the word smart with me. Get ready our most popular battery is now even more powerful. The stronger, lastslonger energizer max. Not much, how about you . Are you answering my text in person . I am, yeah. Lol come on in. This is tech that helps you be there. The Nissan Altima now offering the most techadvanced engine in its class are just the right amount of spicy. A smalltomedium sprite kind of spicy. A. Lets get a mcflurry after this kind of spicy. But if you get the mighty hot sauce. Its a. Napkins are for foreheads now kind of spicy. A. This came from mcdonalds . Kind of spicy. Because our spicy chicken mcnuggets breaded in tempura, made with cayenne are just the right amount of spicy. Unless. You remember what i said about the sauce. Ba da ba ba ba [phone rings]u remember whsore throat pain . E sauce. Try new Vicks Vapocool drops in honey lemon chill for a fastacting rush of relief like youve never tasted in. Honey lemon ahh woo Vicks Vapocool drops now in honey lemon chill they do one of the most deven in normal times. S, our Frontline Health care workers. And when these heroes lack the resources they need, that risky job gets ten times harder. Prop fifteen makes corporations pay their fair share. To invest in our communities, in our clinics, in the essential workers who treat everyone rich, poor, and inbetween. Whether its this pandemic or the next health crisis, vote yes on prop fifteen. For all of us. Stephen welcome back, everybody. You know, during these long months of quarantine, weve all learned a lot. For instance, before this year, i had no idea it was possible to have night swets during a daydream. With so many people kept out of their offices and away from the crowded cities, this pandemic has also allowed Many Americans to reconnect with nature. In fact, one of my head writers, jake, has used his time working remotely to share a habitat with wild animals. Tonight he files this video journal. birds chirping ive always been fascinated by the natural world. And when the pandemic came, i got the rare opportunity to observe wild creatures in their natural habitat. I have been living among my kids. Before quarantine, i knew very little of these small, bipedal hominides. I would see them in pictures, overhear their call or catch glimpses of their ritual dances. Now, after observing them up close with their Human Emotions and features, i finally understand why scientists estimate their d. N. A. Is up to 50 identical to my own. I have been able to capture some incredible foot annual of them, because they just take my phone and i have no idea where it is for most of the day. Ive discovered that there are far more of them than i ever would have presumed. Ive given them names. The tall one i call stryker. The midsized ron, rumble foot. And the smallest, benji, because thats what his mom keeps calling him, and im pretty sure its his name. They appear to have a hierarchical society, but it seems like theyre missing an authority figure. This week, the alpha locked eyes with me. I think i might be earning his respect. Ive been keeping a journal of my observations, and, apparently, they got to this, too. It looks like theyve also been observing me. I like to believe that i taught them things, like fractions and spelling. But i believe theyve taught me so much more. I dont remember any of it right now, because im really tired. screaming im really tired. What was this . What is this . And i believe with the experiences weve shared they might one day accept me as one of their own. Guys. No, no, no, no. No guys. I think i think you broke my phone. I think you broke my phone. Stephen stay safe, jake. laughter well be right back. You can go your own way go your own way your wireless. Your rules. Only Xfinity Mobile lets you choose shared data, unlimited or a mix of each. And switch anytime so you only pay for the data you need. Switch and save up to 400 a year on your wireless bill. With the carrier rated 1 in customer satisfaction. Call, click, or visit your local xfinity store today. Late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be ethan hawke, and a lead prosecutor for the mueller investigation, andrew weissmann. James corden is next with his guest hilary clinton. But first, lets say goodnight with some music from jon batiste and stay human. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh