the university cafe where i learned at the foot of the masters the dao of hot fat and crispy batter. yes, they do a deep-fried mars bar here and deep-fried pizza. been there, done that. carlo here and his twin brother have been keeping the family tradition alive since 1918, and it ain't about no mars bar. >> i'm tempted to go completely nuts for all the things i like, like pie, peen -- beans, and chips. cheese beano, i don't know what that is, but i kind of want it. ooh, sausage roll. i do like a good sausage. >> i order the fish and chips and some haggis. haddock battered and floating, adrift in a sea of life-giving