Jon hey, welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. On the show tonight my guest tonight the great actor colin firth is going to be joining us. But before we get started i did want to ask you a quick question. I was perusing the internet and i guess my question to you is did i die . laughter cuz it all seems very i died. laughter no very weird. An overwhelming day here as you can imagine. And people have been asking and im not exactly sure what and im in the trying to brag but some offers have been coming in. Even fastfood chain arbys got in on the fun tweeting jon, feel free to reach out to us at careers careers arbys. Comful cheers and applause jon you know what actually, you know what i guess my only question would be if i work there would i have to handle serve touch, eat or even look at what you so generously describe as food . Thats thats right, arbies this [bleep] aint over. I do not accept your peace offer. We shall always be enemies. For while you are a worthy adversary you will be arbys come for the tweets run from the meat. laughter cheers and applause theyre very nice people and i think i may have had some when i was younger. Its truly an invented beef. You know what i am saying. Now obviously we prepared a show tonight. Lower your expectations. But lets get right to it as you know our country has been making very positive strides on lgbt equality but dont worry kansas is trying to fix that. In kansas governor brownback has issued an executive order to remove Legal Protection for gay lesbian and transgender employees. That means state workers can now legally be fired harassed or denied a job based on Sexual Orientation and gender identity. Jon there you go in kansas it was not legal for state employees to be fired or harassed because they were gay. Governor Sam Brownback thought, i need to rectify that. I can get in trouble for firing or harassing a lesbian . This cannot stand. And it being kansas, i guess brownback clicked his heels three times and said there is no place like homophobia. You know applause i got to have, we saw, we saw how the name santorum got redefined due to his position on gay rights. You are really telling me we cant do better with the almost already there name brownback . cheers and applause come on internet of course it isnt all bad news for gay People Living in states where you might not expect them to be. Same sex couples began getting licences in alabama after a federal judge two weeks ago struck down a state ban on gay marriage there. Jon great job, alabama. You know what this means . Yes i get to put a quarter in the great job alabama jar. laughter cheers and applause now the state of alabama did ask the United StatesSupreme Court to grant a stay on any gay marriages while the decision is being appealed. Just within the last couple of minutes the Supreme Court apparently by a vote of 72 declined to grant that stay. Justices antonin and scalia and Clarence Thomas said today. Omigodomigod, i know what they said. Scalia and thomas are timely getting hitched. What will they wear . What is their couple name going to be. Im going go with scalomas the sklarence thomatyn. Antonim. Claris tomatomanin. Ninsi kbrrx t. Skrom lee owes. Antonio ban sklarence. Claritin nonbrowsey. Unless were getting gay married isnt what thomas and scale qa said. Justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas said today the Supreme Court should have granted alabamas request to put that ruling on hold. Jon melatoni. C chlamydia im shocked. The stay was not granted. Unless you dont happen to have a Supreme Court justice who thinks he outranked the Supreme Court. Chief justition moore of the all billiona Court Ordered the probate judges not to issue licenses. Told them they didnt have to follow a federal judges ruling declaring the states ban on same sex marriage unconstitutional. Jon huh. Alabama official circumvend circumventing a federal ruling against minority right, he was thinking hey, that selma moviest was a hit. Better start laying the groundwork for a sequel. Judge moore is making an old states rights case that article 6 of the constitution refutes. You wouldnt happen to have other less legallish reasons to do this would you. I think the redefinition of the word marriage is not found within the powers designated to the federal government. Did they stop with one man and one man or one woman and one woman, or do they go to multiple marriages. Or do they go with marriages between men and their daughters or women and their sons. Its all in the judges book, a thousand and one things american equality will in no way impact but will scare the [bleep] out of me the actual chief justice of an american state in 2015. A long title that i really [bleep] as i was saying it. Anyway, the point is this. This isnt about the unlickly possibility of some farroff future where people get married in groups. Its about real people whose lives are being affected by this right now. In mobile Milton Persinger faced a closed window. I should already be home celebrating but no, im sitting here wondering what in the world are these people thinking. Oh well, i think the marred i grass sticker ons that closed window give you a sense of what those people are thinking. They are thinking we completely normal heterosexuals totally accept transforming the beginning of the Christmas Season of lent into a titbooby. Bachanal but we cant allow you too gentleman to get married because thats wear. What . Come on alabama. Lets at least be honest about the real reason that you are doing this. Conti Probate Office is not going to be in the marriage licence business all together. We decided to take ourselves out of that. We dont want to disappoint anybody but at the same time youve got those deeply held christian beliefs that i do. Wait a minute. In the minds of the judges and clerk biblical law supersedes federal law. Which reminds me what was that state constitutional amendment that alabama voters passed last year by a huge margin. Some people refer to amendment one as the sharia law amendment. It would prohibit judges and other state officials from basing any of their decisions on foreign law. Jon hmmmm, where was the bible written again . laughter last time i checked ancient galilee is not cheers and applause jon ancient galilee is not one of the 50 states. Or even one of them territories that nobody knows about. Which makes it foreign law. The kind of foreign law you explicitly banned from judicial decisions. You have [bleep] yourselves with your own statute. Or as i hope it becomes to be known brownbacking. cheers and applause jon well be right back. We did it charlie. 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Get them with all this in your next 5 fill up or try them in a go cup. These dont even come with a toy and i dont care. When you feel good no one is immune. With antioxidants, electrolytes, and b vitamins plus more vitamin c than ten oranges. Emergenc transforms more than just water. Emergenc. Let your awesome out. Jon oh, welcome back. You know i want to tell you kids today have so many questions why do the dog wag tails why does the upon follow us. What is the rush to be a lot of them are not today answer. And who should be answering them any what way. Jord be klepper. Las vegas this city sextopolis but besides being marks number one pleasure dome families actually live here with children. Some of whom wonder what the [bleep] this is and this and this. And some of the kids have recently been lobbying for improved sexual education in schools. I think sex ed is really important because we need to be able to make these healthy responsible and educated decisions about our own bodies. What have you had in sex ed. I didnt have any experience in sex ed because the sex ed case in my school wasnt offered. You turned out fine. No, actually i got two women pregnant in high school. Sounds like are you an expert. What experience did you have from clas. My sex ed was basically this is why you shouldnt have sex because youre going end up pregnant. And then well watch the biggest losers. That show isnt about sex why do you think they are losing all that weight,. I would rather learn about what i need to know so i can stay safe. As these students challenge their primarily abstinentbased curriculum they faced resistance and while this debate continues in the Clark County School board, the battle rages across the country. Concerned parent and author susan paton. I think that Sex Education in schools at any grade frankly im opposed to. Sex education is something that should be taught by parents to their children. Im sorry i was thinking about my mom teaching me about your clitoris. Are you all right over there. Vomited in my mouth a little bit. Theyre not experts but they can speak from their own experience. Okay. But these kids think vomitinducing parental chats arent the solutions. Parents only so know so much. Parents arent always there. Parents are busy parents have jobs. Maybe youre not old enough to have your questions answered. By graduation Clark County School district students, about 60 of them have already engaged in sexual intercourse. And that is just the ones that admit it. Not a lot of people include oral sex and anal sex. Okay chill. Nobody wants to talk about these facts. Its uncomfortable. We do. Would you rather be uncomfortable for a short talk or would you rather be uncomfortable for a lifetime because you have aids. Whoa. These are students who want knowledge. They really want knowledge, because they really want sex. You think Sex Education is the same thing as sex. I think students want sex not sex ed. We are not just hornee teenagers. We have real questions. Really, like what. Questions is hpv transmit bl trans transmitable by other means than sexual intercourse. These are questions parents know the answer to. No. I dont know. Is hpv transmitable by other means than intercourse . I have no idea. I have to look it up. Or call the doctor and ask him. Okay. Doug. What are the best ways to stem the transmission of herpeeses. I have no idea. Can you get a butt pregnant. Are you asking me whether pregnancy can be achieved through anal sex. That is what these kids were asking. They are asking or you are asking. They are asking it can that happen . Thankfully this is one of those questions that has a simple answer. The answer is no. Thank god. Definitely not. No you cannot. I will be sure to tell them. But even as parents just dont understand, susan has another solution. If it is that awkward for parents to talk to their children about sexual behavior, they have to find a web site that your child, in front of it and say google it. Look it up yen line. Dont i think what you are describing right now is terrible parenting . Well i think that its. Zurp el, you kids want answers just google se well that is a but if the unfiltered web going to teach our youth, it was up to me to fix the internet so kids get ready for the wolf of fall street. Hello. Starring and me. Things in here are a little dirty. Leo hardo decockrio in the most porn ever. It will get you off. You had me at cervical cap. Of unsafe sex. A fantastic way of transmitting sexual infections. All your sex ed fantasies come true, right kids. No. When you are are you not thinking about Birth Control or condoms. Okay, fine maybe porn and education dont mix but susan says confused teenagers everywhere still have options. Well if you are honestly confused, they should probably seek advice from their house of worship their cleric their rabbi. There is your answer kids. Presenting sex 101. When she is in need hoy. Thats an education. cheers and applause well be right back playful growl vo because every moment matters, so does your network. Verizon. This valentines day get 100 off a swarovski crystal battery cover or the samsung gear s. Perfect with a new Samsung Galaxy note 4 for 0 down with edge. Plus, get a 100 bill credit for each smartphone you switch. Get our best deals dog barks for the ones you love dog barks this valentines day. dog barks verizon. Its a big world out there. So why do some cash back cards limit where you can earn bonus cash back . One month, its only at a few places over here. The next, its only a few places over there. What you need is the quicksilver card from capital one. Quicksilver gives you unlimited 1. 5 cash back on every purchase, everywhere. Can your card say that . Whats in your wallet . Female vo i actually have a whole lot of unused vacation days, but where am i gonna go . I just dont have the money to travel right now. I usually just go back home to see my parents so i cant exactly go globetrotting. If i had friends to go with id go but i dont want to travel by myself. Someday. Male vo there are no more excuses. Find the hotel you want, and the flight you want, and well find the savings to get you there. cheers and applause jon welcome back my guest tonight Academy Awardwinning acker. Looking for another errand boy. Manners. Make it. Man. You know what that means . Please welcome back to the program colin firth. cheers and applause whats happening . You hit that guy in the head with a from your cane, i means thats thats no [bleep] thats some serious like you are up set. You are kicking butt. Im teaching him manners. Jon i understand. You are an exceptional manners teacher in this film. You teach hundreds of people manners. The english do like to enforce their sense of politeness. Jon its the only way to keep things orderly. It is. Jon in some regards. I have to tell you. Very did you enjoy the process of hurting people. In some instances, for no reason whatsoever . You didnt see the settup there. Its not fair. Jon i did. You decided not to split the bill they got mad. You hit the guy in the headway beer mug and that is the end of the thing. And you think thats no reason. No i no, well i did enjoy it basically i met the director about a year before we started shooting. He warned me it was going to hurt. And. Jon . I was the only one who received physical punishment. All the thugs you see being dispatch product very very nice guys, there to help me look as if. Jon are you telling me films are in some ways fictional reality. No, no, no. Im not here to spoil things. But. Jon . Jon film is very different than television. I have been here for 16 years. And so i made that announcement. But now i have theres all this time. Like you say like were getting a thesaurus so roll over and go to sleep. But on a film you wouldnt do that 30 days in and go you know ill be leaving this film at the end. You know its not like that. Well no because most of the time you havent felt like you have been work anywaying really. Jon on the film. No. You have to go back to the real world and that is when the work stops. Things like parenting. You are going to have to face that. Jon let me ask you a question about that. How do you do that . Because im going have to start doing that too. I dont know because im on the film set. I have been avoiding the issue. Jon that is so smart. Do you think, you can help me with this. From now on until the end i think, do i i probably it will normalize after a couple of weeks maybe but the first little bit of it i will have to talk about it because were going to end up in this conversation. Way but nobody is going to listen to you. Jon here is what is interesting. I dont think anybody has been. No, people have been. I found a tear in my eye this morning. Jon you found one . I found one. That is an English Version of saying im emotional. Jon that is my favorite. It is not an easy thing. Jon but you made it like i reached into a pocket and i found a tear. No, it was here and i was surprised by the emotion that i felt. Jon weve been balling and hugging like crazy. Everybody, make out everything, like crazy. Im not that [bleep]fest up there. cheers and applause jon . I should announce my retirement more often. Jon do you get emotional at the end of a film shoot. Yes sometimes. Jon you do. Many different forms. Sometimes its euphoria. And sometimes its heartbreak. I missed the training on this i never imagined that in the first month when most people were averting their gaze. You know but no by the end of it all i wanted to do was i im not really kicking it. Right. I was cast because i was the last if there is a lift of people least lakely to kick ass. I have been sitting at the top of that list for about 50 years. And thats why i was cast. Jon i think that is a new franchise. You know how there is a franchise kick ass you were least likely to kick ass, me and you in our underwearing watching exactly. Jon kings men, it is in the theaters on friday. Will you come back and see us before we go because otherwise i have no way of getting in touch with you. Yes. Jon colin firth everybody. cheers and applause who got the lighter . Lets spark the fire. Use your mastercard with apple pay okay handbag out there. Surprise and you could get a priceless surprise. Woah whos next . Four from golf experiences to concert tickets. So much cooler when you do it do it do it. Lets spark the fire. Even the chance to meet gwen stefani. Lets spark the fire. Cool hair ah haha priceless. Everybody lets go fact. Fastacting advil is designed with an ultrathin coating and fast absorbing advil Ion Core Technology stopping headaches and other tough pain. Fast. Relief doesnt get any better than this. Advil. Jon thats our show here it is your moment of zen. A variety of 50 shades valentines gifts from handcuffs to a tuxedo tellee bear holding a minimouse dressed in a gras suit silver tie minimask and captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org larry tonightly, its your turn to ask the important questions, so lay it on me, dongemperor666. laughter your voice will finally be heard, barfqueen89