Welcome to hollywood, welcome to california. This is where it all happens. Did you know we have a new state law in california that could affect your hair style. Starting january 1st, beauty salons and barbershops will be allowed to serve drinks. For real. Because when you combine alcohol with scissors, what could possibly go wrong . Obviously the drinks are for the customers. I guess the stylists would be allowed to drink. And if barbers are allowed to drink, can bartenders cut hair . Maybe highlights. Do you like that plan, guillermo . Guillermo i love that. Jimmy i had a feeling. Before the political news, lets go to donald trump in council bluffs, iowa for tonights edition of drunk donald trump. How many people destroyed a iphone or phone with a hammer . Anybody in the room . Huh . [ applause ] jimmy you know what . Maybe we should be smashing our phones. According to fbi, foreign hackers have made several attempts to breach Voter Registration websites in the United States with intent to influence the outcome of the election or steal personal information. Bad actors have been trying to hack us. It could be a number of suspects, russia, matt damon. There are a lot of pbad actors out there. The directors of the fbi are warning individual states to make sure their dead bolts are thrown and locks are on. Theyre using dead bolts and locks . Those are for bicycles. If donald trump and Hillary Clinton wind up losing to some guy named boris, thats probably the reason why. Meanwhile, donald trump has a new new scandal to deal with today. According to news week in 1998 he spent 68,000 on a Business Venture in cuba. It was illegal because of the embargo. Trump denied the allegations. He said theres no such place as cuba, but his Campaign Manager this morning, his own Campaign Manager clarified. She said trump did not invest money in cuba. He just spent money to investigate whether to invest which turns out is also illegal. You cant that. But thanks for clearing that up. Good thing shes not his lawyer. Your honor, my client didnt break in to rob it. He broke in to see if he wanted to rob it. And he didnt. If the allegations prove to be true, this will absolutely not change a single mind of anyone thats watching. Honestly, hes unsinkable. If only they immediate the titanic of what hes made of, it would still be floating. Leonardo dicaprio might not have a film career. Remember when mitt romney almost had to drop out of the race because he put his dog on the top of the car. They were simpler times. And president obama is up to this . This is one of the few helmets i have during the season. I brought it to you for a gift. Thats a real one there. I really like that helmet. Yeah . Tell im going to use it. Tell me the truth, what are you pumping in through here . Some really good stuff. Reporter he is so over this presidency. Thats why they put m and ms on it. I think we, especially lately, look on in amazement about whats going on with our politicians, but we have a long way to go to catch up with the likes of georgia, the country, not the state. This is what a debate looks like. [ speaking Foreign Language ] thats our future right there. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats what we have to look forward. This is kind of annoying. Christmas is three months away. Someone did a survey and learned that 1 million americans have already done all their Christmas Shopping. Theyre finished or theyre jewish. I dont know what one. They are v no more shopping. Either way, if you finish your Christmas Shopping before the end of september, youre not organized, youre a lunatic. You should be wrapped in paper and locked in a mental institution. When im Vice President , no one can buy a Christmas Present before halloween. Thats right. With one exception. Except for this. This you the k buy any time. This is the ideal both for little boy or girl in your life. New, its torch, my blazing dragon. Its magical. Its torch. Hes full of surprises just like you. Jimmy what the hell is going on . The kids are going to eat so many lunchables. We got to get one of those for Damian Marley, right . This is worth mentioning. Were focussed on donald trump and Hillary Clinton. Theyre not the only horses. There are Third Party Candidates in fact most notably gary johnson. Hes the former governor of new mexico. Hes the guy who had no idea that aleppo is the epicenter of the syrian refugee crisis. It may have been topped. They had a town hall meeting last night on msnbc. At one point johnson was asked a question that was difficult to answer . Whos your favorite foreign leader that you respect, anybody . Mine was shimonperes. Has to be alive. Anywhere. Name a foreign leader that you respect. I guess im having an aleppo moment. Im giving you the whole world. I know. Anybody in the world you like, anybody, pick any leader in. The former president of mexico. Which one . Im having a brain name anybody. Fox. Jimmy fox. Thats bad. Even Dennis Rodman could name his favorite foreign leader. And i worry this could jeopardize the chance of winning the presidency. You have to wonder what was going through his mind during that while he was lets go into his mind now and see. Whats your favorite foreign leader . Dont say hitler. Dont say hitler. Dont say hitler. Jimmy all right. He didnt say hitler. Thats good. While gary johnson might not know the names of foreign leaders, very few people know the name gary johnson. This afternoon we conducted an unscientific but satisfying poll. We asked people who is gary johnson out on the streets. Do you know who gary johnson is . No. Do you know who gary johnson is . [ laughter ] do you know who dpaer johnson is . No. Do you know who gary johnson is . No idea. No. Do you know who gary johnson is . No, i do not. Do you know who gary johnson is . Im sorry, i cant speak english. You just did. Do you know who gary johnson is . Do i know who gary johnson is . I know several of them. No. Never heard of him. . Do you know who gary johnson is . Leave him alone. You will be saved. Only jesus is the way, the truth im sorry . Do you know who gary johnson is . Who . Gary johnson . I dont know. I do not know. Im sorry. God bless you. Excuse me, freddie, do you know who gary johnson is . Who . No. Do you know who gary johnson is . Its like a mix between gary coleman and magic johnson. Do you know who gary johnson is . I dont. Hes the libertarian candidate for president. Congratulations. You did it. Thank you so much. Thank you. Just Google Gary Johnson and find out. All right. We have to take a break. When we come back, facebook is up to no good again. We bid a fond farewell to the blackberry in unnecessary censorship this week. Well be right back. [ distorted voice ] progressive claims to show people their competitors rates alongside their direct rate to save you money. But whats really going on . When played backwards at 1 8th speed you can clearly hear. What could that mean . Woman tom . Tom theyre just commercials. Or are they . Youre waking the neighbors. Well, mom, maybe the neighbors need to be woke. I think its actually awoken. No, that doesnt even seem right. No, its awoken. Revealing the truth to help you save. Can you take our 1st step . Can you walk towards. . cat meows new sheba® meaty cat treats. What cats want™ ill call you later ah, i. Or. No i wont,. Ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. Thank you, get home safe. This must be what Antonio Brown feels like when hes dancing in the end zone. Touchdown Antonio Brown [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katies number. Pepsi. Turns out my curlsthe needed to be stronger. Pantenes prov formula makes my curls so strong. They can dry practically frizz free. Because strong is beautiful. Theyre bringing crime, when mextheyre rapists. Ople. Are you going to have a massive Deportation Force . Youre going to have a Deportation Force. Were rounding em up in a very humane way, in a very nice way. Were going to build a wall. Thats not america. Were all californians. Im tom steyer. Its time to speak out. Please, register. And vote. Vote. Nextgen California Action Committee is responsible for the content of this advertising. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Facebook next month is going to release something called facebook at work. Its a new version of facebook designed for businesses and their employees, so finally well be able to go on facebook at work. [ laughter ]. Jimmy i think its called facebook. Remember the blackberry . They announced theyre going to stop making blackberry devices. Its hard to believe they couldnt outlast pink berry. I used to have a blackberry. I liked it. They didnt keep up with other phones. Jimmy kimmel. Jimmy hello, blackberry. What are you doing here . Did you forget me . Did you forget what we had together . Jimmy of course not. I just, i just needed more. I can change. I just need a software update. Jimmy listen, i know this is a hard thing. I brought you something j jimmy. Jimmy oh. Flowers. Oh, thats look, blackberry, thats very nice, but im with a smart phone now. You just like that smart phone because its thin. I guess im too fat and bulky. Tiers, crying, where are crying. Jimmy dont cry. Sometimes you have to move on. What we had was great. It was amazing. You introduced me to texting, mobile web games the. Remember snake . Jimmy yeah, i remember snake. See . Thats what i mean. People grow, and sometimes snake just doesnt do it for you anymore. Sometimes you get scrabble and candy crush and words with friends and that oh, come on. Dont do that. Come on, black berry. Dot, dot, dot. I understand. Its time to move on. Jimmy it is. It is time to move on. Goodbye, jimmy. Jimmy bye, blackberry. Now i feel bad, but hes going to be okay. Its just mod earn timern timesl be fine. Goodbye, world. Screaming. More screaming. Jimmy oh, no. Guillermo, will you go out and clean that blackberry up . Thank you. I appreciate it. [ applause ] jimmy Damian Marley and his band are like what just happened . Someone go explain that to them, will you . On sunday theres a new hbo show called west world. Its a big, huge budget sci fi series about a futuristic theme park. And the reason they call it west world well, look at this. Do you know where you are . In my dream, i designed every part of this place. Its not a theme park. Its an entire world. Wait a second, theres no one around here in this space that looks like me. Im like a machine. Im a robot. You cannot defend a robot. I think there may be something wrong with this world . Its been that way for many times. Everybody says who does he think he is . I just told you who i thought i was, a god. No, i wouldnt say that at all. Im sorry for the realness. Jimmy dont you dare apologize for the realness. And one more thing before we forge ahead. Its time to bleep and plur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. Its this week in unnecessary censorship. Believe me when i tell you i [ bleep ] you far more than you [ bleep ] me. By the way, my [ bleep ] is the biggest since ronald reagan. The newest viral video sensation thats called the [ bleep ] blping whalg, and its just i will see you here tomorrow morning and have good strong black p[ bleep ] for both of us. If people from washington are [ bleep ] me with a [ bleep ] that doesnt bother me. Were going to need your help. Were going to need you [ bleep ] up. How much did he come in and [ bleep ] you . Say that one more time. Im so happy to [ bleep ] you. How you doing . Did anybody [ bleep ] last night . Jimmy tonight on the show music from damian jr. Gong marley piper perabo is here and well be right back with armie hammer. Announcer portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by rinnai tankless hot water heaters and home heating solutions. Ly. They travel a lot. Every four years when we got restationed you think its going to be the biggest change in your life but theres always more changes to come. The first thing that we would do when we would get into our new place was set up the beds. And when i go to t. J. Maxx i buy good quality things that are going to last a long time. Everything i get there, i get at a lower price. Shopping at t. J. Maxx is always like a bonding experience. Discover real value worth sharing. I just think that home, its wherever your family is. Maxx life at t. J. Maxx. [ rear alert sounds ], [ music stops ]on ] on the road again just cant wait to get on the road again [ front assist sounds ] [ music stops ] [ girl laughs ] on the road again like a band of gypsies we go down the highway [ beetle horn honks ] no matter which passat you choose, you get more standard features, for less than you expected. Hurry in and lease the 2017 passat s for just 199 a month. But you dont lovereakfast. That you cant get all your favorites. But now you can get more of what you love. So you can find Something Else to not love. Like hearing the sound of your own voice. softly like hearing the sound of your own voice. Get more choices you love, now with all day breakfast. Narrator it wasnt that long ago. Years of devastating cutbacks to our schools. 30,000 teachers laid off. Class sizes increased. Art and music programs cut. We cant ever go back. Ryan ruelas so vote yes on proposition 55. Reagan duncan prop 55 prevents 4 billion in new cuts to our schools. Letty munozgonzalez simply by maintaining the current tax rate on the wealthiest californians. Ryan ruelas no new education cuts, and no new taxes. Reagan duncan vote yes on 55. Sarah morgan to help our children thrive. Jimmy tonight, from the new abc show notorious, piper perabo is here. Then, his latest single is called nail pon cross, damian jr. Gong marley from the samsung outdoor stage. Next week, well be joined by billy bob thornton, martin lawrence, kristin chenoweth, zach galifianakis, and we will have music from gary clark jr. , idina menzel, and dolly parton will be here to chat and sing for us too on saturday we have a big event for those of you in our neighborhood. Were having a yard sale in our parking lot were selling props and costumes, lots of stuff thats been on our show, the Uncle Frank Helping Hand Foundation is organizing this to benefit my friends place which helps homeless young people here in hollywood. The yard sale goes from 8 am until 4 pm. We will be there. Guillermo, youll be there, right . Glo guillermo yeah. Jimmy ill need your help. People like to haggle. Ill be in charge and people will say theyll have a price, and ill look at you and youll go like this. Lets practice it one time. This is how itll go. Cleto, ask me, would you take 5 for this . Would you take 5 for this . Jimmy well work on it and get it right by saturday. Guillermo well work on it. Jimmy dont try to haggle. When our first guest walks into a room, any time is hammertime. His new movie is the criticallyacclaimed historical drama the birth of a nation. It opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. Please welcome armie hammer. Jimmy how you doing . Im good. Jimmy i heard you got back from a big trip to australia. I did. Jimmy where were you . We were in adelaide. Jimmy i dont know anything about adelaide. Nobody does. Its like Third Largest city in australia that nobody knows anything about. Its down on the bottom of australia by itself, isolated. I think it allows it to be the serial killer capital of australia. Jimmy they have those . They do, and they grow a lot of them in adelaide. Its a bizarre place. But its really nice. Jimmy what a tourist destination. Thats not the tourist sale, but its great. Its a fantastic city. Its surrounded by the wine region of australia. They have some of the best restaurants and food and wine. Its impressive. Jimmy thats nice. You turned 30 while you were there. Happy birthday. I did. Thank you very much. Yeah. Jimmy and so did you have a big thing for it . We didnt do a big thing. My wife was there and my daughter, and she was like lets go to dinner and have a date night, the two of us. I was like this sounds great. Well get a babysitter. I love the idea. We go to a restaurant we love, an indian restaurant, and they take us to the back of the restaurant. And we come around the corner and its everybody. Its everybody from the cast and the crew. She threw a huge Surprise Birthday Party for me. Jimmy was it good . It was fantastic. Jimmy people i saw all day are here. I thought i was going to get laid. Now like what the hell is going on here. But it was good. It was good fun. Maybe too much fun. I dont know. Jimmy did you go out after . Was it a whole evening . We did. We went out we were at the restaurant for as long as they would let us until they were like get out of the restaurant. So we left and went to a bar and then another bar and another bar. We made the mistake of walking up to the bar and the bartender said what can we get you to drink. We said well take 30 shots. It was a group of us, maybe 15 people. Two shots a person. Its not too crazy. We go 30 shots. They go great. Youre kicked out of the bar. Just like that. Were like well, forget you. We go to the next bar, and they say what are l you have, we say 40 shots, and they kicked us out. Jimmy getting kicked out of a par bar in australia is a maj accomplishment. Were you unruly . No. Thats the thing. We felt really sober. Jimmy sure. We were like were fine. What do you mean youre not giving us a drink. Jimmy did you find a place to get a drink . We ended up all convincing the director of the movie we should go back to his house, and we went along with the idea. But then in the process of getting to his house, its like three, four in the morning at this point, and theres an elevator. It comes down and were going to his apartment and some people wait outside, and drunk army is like we all stay together. So i grab everybody and pull them into the elevator. Its loaded and the elevator moves and i think wouldnt it be funny if i started jumping and freaked everybody out. And im not a small dude. Jimmy i see why you got thrown out of the bar, by the way. I thought i was really sober. I start jumping in the elevator and it just grinds to a halt, and now my wife is pregnant. Jimmy from being in the elevator . Yeah. Remember, i thought i was going to get laid. So shes pregnant, and sober surrounded by all drunk people at 4 00 in the morning stuck in an elevator, and i see the look on her face and she just goes, im going to murder you. So i was like, you know what . I got this. Dont even worry about it. I pry open the door. Im pulling on wires. Its like looking back, its the dumbest thing. I pull on one wire and i hear click, and i go thats t. The doors open and we step out of the elevator, and i was the hero, but no one appreciated the fact that i got us out of this elevator. [ applause ] jimmy lets see. Let me think about this for a second. Can you technically be the hero if you are the only reason everyone wound up in the predicament . I maintain that you can. Jimmy you do . Okay. Well go with can. Armie hammer is here. The birth of a nation is the movie. Well be right back. Lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for 349 a month. Only at your lincoln dealer. [diggy by spencer ludwig] give extra. Get extra. The possibility of a flare was almost always on my mind. Thinking about what to avoid, where to go. And how to deal with my uc. To me, that was normal. Until i talked to my doctor. She told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications havent worked well enough. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Raise your expectations. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, control is possible. Get the new iphone on us when you switch to at t and have directv. Baptizing a man on my property. You better Say Something and quick. Take yes to yourselves and unto all the flock to feed the church of god which he has purchased with his own blood. Jimmy armie hammer the birth of a nation opens in theaters october 7th. This is a heavy movie. People are saying maybe oscar mom nations. Does that make you nervous . Yes and no. Ive been busy. You kind of forget about it and then it comes around and its like we did that. That was a great movie. Jimmy can you have fun on a set like that where the material is really depressing and heavy, as i said before . Yeah. Its obviously not the feel good movie of the summer, but its something that while youre doing it you know its important. You know the reason youre there is bigger than you. Theres a real feeling of deference and respect more than anything else. Its a movie. Were not saving lives. Were not going anything like digging ditches. Jimmy why wont you save some lives . Whats wrong with you . I tried. It went really wrong. Jimmy why are you trapping people inside of an elevator instead . I cant even handle an elevator. Jimmy i missed the moment to say congratulations. You said your wife got pregnant in the elevator. You have one child already. A son or daughter . A daughter. Another child is on the way. Jimmy when is the baby you dont have to say, but soon, i would assume. Soon, like next year. Jimmy okay. And have you found out . You dont have to say what sex the baby is, but do you know . I do know. And you can find out now at nine weeks. They do a blood test. Its crazy. They test if theres hormones and they say its testosterone, so you either have balls or youre having a boy. Jimmy and they check to make sure its not balls . I checked in the process of making the baby. Jimmy i see. Okay. Okay. This is all very educational. Science hour. Jimmy is your daughter aware the baby is coming . Oh, yeah. She loves it. She seems to love it now. If you go wheres the baby, shell rub the belly and kiss her stomach. Jimmy thats cute. Do you think she really has a sense of whats no. Not at all. And i think when the new baby comes out, its going to be a serious adjustment period. Jimmy do you have a plan . Has anyone advised you on what to do . I dont know if our daughter is easy or weve been winging in the right way, but weve not had much of a plan and its going all right. I guess the only reason were all here is because raising babies works. Jimmy i have had that moment where i go it worked. All the stories we heard, and it really worked. I think new parents under estimate the human survivalism. Its going to survive. Jimmy and they have all their parts by really two and a half months. They have the whole thing, its formed and everything. Now she has an opinion. You put shoes on her and shell go no. Youre like youre one and a half. Jimmy youre daughter . I was talking about the fetus. This kid is a genius. When your last name is hammer, you have a wide variety of options when it comes to a name. Were thinking jack. Jimmy jack would be a fantastic name. Jackhammer. Jimmy and mc. Michael charles, and he can go by mc. Jimmy definitely. Are you really thinking about that . I think i just gave away the baby name. I am in so much trouble. Jimmy oh, okay. It could be a girl name, michael. Not michael charles, but maybe a michael. Its a her and shes named michael. Jimmy Michael Learned is a womans name. Go with that. Well cover oall that up. Youre in a lot of trouble. You told me your mother is not going to be happy about the elevator story. Yeah. Im going to get several phone calls from several people about this. Jimmy im glad we could complicate your life. Im glad this is the only talk show with an open bar in the back. Jimmy the marleys are backstage. It could be worse. Thanks for coming. Congratulations. Its great to see you. The birth of a nation opens october 7th. Well be right back with piper perabo. Man, im glaaflac c pays cash. Isnt Major Medical enough . No whos gonna help cover the holes in their plans . Aflac like rising copays and deductibles. Aflac or help pay the mortgage . Or child care . Aflaaac and everyday expenses . Aflac learn about one day pay at aflac. Com boat blurlbrlblrlbr its not a weekend hobby. Ance . You have to live and breathe it for 50 years. Its the sound. And the fury. Its letting it all hang out there, and its hanging on for dear life. That is what amg driving performance means. And this is where it lives. The 503horsepower mercedesamg c63 s coupe. Inside the rack houses every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller, smoother flavor. Our history is made from the inside. How will you make yours . Theto her, green. A. Was always more than a color. And style, was more than what you wear. Theres more to emma than youd expect, and shes always found her more on ebay. You can find your more on ebay too. Shop fall fashion today. Jimmy our next guest is a golden globenominated actress who may or may not pick pickled peppers in her free time. She plays tv news Producer Julia george in the new show notorious, it airs thursdays at 9 on abc, please welcome piper perabo. Wow, that would have been a real youtube moment right there. Disaster. Jimmy did you slip in the shoes . I guess so. Jimmy are they new . I think maybe they lint rolled your carpet so much its smooth. Jimmy i dont want to tell you what happened to the couch while you were backstage. I hope thats a rental suit youre wearing. Its a rental. Jimmy how are you . Im good. Jimmy congratulations on the show. The show for those who havent seen, and correct me if i get anything wrong, is based on behind the scenes at larry king live. What a sexy premise that is. [ laughter ] jimmy how did that pitch that . I never really thought about it like that before. Larry had a female news producer for 18 years. She had behind the scenes relationships with famous Defense Attorneys so she was able to use the relationships to get people on larry king live. About her leadershrelationships people on the show. Jimmy she could get people in trouble with law by being friendly with their lawyers. I hosted larry kings show once, and he was one of the guests on the show. I didnt realize you hosted larry king once . Jimmy youre damn right. I wore suspenders and everything. Id like to see a click. Jimmy larry even called in during the show one time. I was like why are you at home . Maybe he should give you the night off one night. Jimmy im sure he would be happy to do in a. The show is based on real things that happened. The show has been off the air for a while. Did you go to a news channel and study . I went to cnn in atlanta to the Head Quarters and in new york and sat in the news rooms and sat with the news producers and watched how you create live news. Jimmy were they excited you were there . They were kind of excited. I wasnt there to see the anchor. I have there to see them. So producers never really get the limelight. And it was you know, when news breaks, its really exciting. Its fun to watch them kind of jimmy youre telling me. I wait in front of my computer for it to him. Did any news break while you were there . The first day i was there i was in the morning meeting and obama named his Supreme Court nominee, garland. And they werent really prepared for it. All of a sudden jimmy why . He wasnt in the top five they thought, and they werent thinking the nomination would happen that morning. Jimmy so they learn about the people . They learn about the top ten, maybe. So they were prepared for that in case it happens. But they werent prepared for him, and so you see all the people go running and theyre all googling him and reading their phones. They didnt know the announcement was coming. When youre in the control room, theres televisions and you can see guys running to their post outside the rose garden doing their makeup and getting ready to go on camera. Jimmy the guys do their own makeup . Yeah, and at short notice you run over and put on your own powder and straighten your tie and go. Jimmy that has to be a funny thing to watch. Wolf blitzer making himself up. They said sometimes he has to run over there. Jimmy hes a wolf. Thats a fun thing. That inspired you. Did you make that part of the show . Yeah. A lot of the show is about breaking news and how you handle sort of like how you handle guests and how you sort of manage the whole backstage world. Jimmy p diddy sean combs is playing hyimself. Hes on tonight. Jimmy did you know him . I did not. Jimmy i did. He came on the show and we vacation together. What do you call him . Jimmy i call him p. You do . Jimmy i dont know. What do i call him . I try to avoid it, really. Because i dont know what to call him. I was like i can say sir. But then i was like maybe he prefers when hes acting to be mr. Combs or maybe he wants to be p diddy or diddy. I didnt know what to do. Jimmy when hes acting hes sean combs. Is that the rule . Jimmy i think so. I asked him what to call him. Jimmy what did he say . He said, girl, you can call me puff. I was like okay. Jimmy and then you did . Yeah. Pretty cool. So you know for the future, you can call him puff. Jimmy it might not apply to me. Ill just stick with my man. Youre a Dallas Cowboys fan. Are you from dallas originally . I am. Who is your team . Jimmy i like tony roromo. Who is your flaifavorite player . We have a new quarterback. Hes pretty impressive for a rookie. Jimmy who do you watch the games with . My husband, but my brothers are on the east coast. We tweet at the coy boys tweeted at me this sunday. Jimmy the team itself . Yeah. The blue check thing that says Dallas Cowboys. Jimmy the verified tweet. What did you say to them . I was using an emoji. There was a cowboys emoji. I didnt know how to get it on my tweet, so i asked them. Jimmy this is a very sad thing. What did they say, just call me puff . [ laughter ] did they reply . They tweeted me back. They were like just do this. Jimmy have you been to see them . No. Ive never seen a live game. Jimmy oh, my god. I know they have an amazing stadium that opens. Jimmy its crazy. Have you been there . Jimmy yeah. I heard the bbq is really good. Jimmy i didnt have the bbq. Weird. Jimmy its unbelievable. Its like massive, right . Jimmy its like what people around the world imagine america is. If costco had a team, thats what it would be. For the Dallas Cowboys . Jimmy its amazing. I will tell you one thing, youre there and you are expecting to watch the players on the field, but the tv is so big you cant stop watching the tv. I know. You can see the coaches. When theyre looking at a play to see what the refs call, they all go like this. You watch everybody looking up. Jimmy the whole stadium why would you show a tv on tv . It must be amazing. Jimmy if you point a tv at a tv, its an infinity hole. Did you watch the tv when you were there. Jimmy the whole time. I need to watch the field, im here, but theres no reason to go to the game. You can just watch it on tv. Its just as well. Jimmy youre fine. Never go to the game. Congratulations on the show. Watch it thursday nights on abc. Well be right back with Damian Marley. Announcer the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy id like to thank armie hammer, piper perabo and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. Nightline is next but first, here with the song nail pon cross, damian jr. Gong marley world must understand yo a man is just a man dont you judge him for his ways and flaws no speak of love tomorrow youll be doing good my brother youre working for the greatest cause he without sin may he throw the first stone and not even a pebble can cast no pharisees and scribes crucified the son of god be careful who you nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross things is getting rougher and some cant find no supper much less a Good Breakfast no what a lucky thing say rasta yute nuh wanga gut say natty dreadlocks gotta hold steadfast grudges are forbidden forgive to be forgiven when another man trespass woah heckle vex with jeckle and the pot a cuss the kettle yo be careful who you nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross today might be for you but jah might give me tomorrow so dont count youre eggs too fast you might talk too soon then yuh pride haffi swollow come down off your big high horse some preaching religion when inside dem hollow when inside dem hollow and pure judgment them pass wo and a gwan like dem a god when thats a hard act to follow be careful who you nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross dont throw no word i beg yuh dont throw no stone if yuh living in a house of glass do onto others as you do to your own you never know when you might cross path have a look within cause another ones win that should not be your loss if the tables spin you a laugh up an a grin be careful who you nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross be careful who you nail pon cra wa wa woss be careful who unnu nail pon cross this is nightline. Tonight rush hour horror. A deadly commuter train crash. It went over the bumper block. Basically through the air. Causing chaos in new jersey. Come people couldnt walk. Some people were covered in debris. Passengers escaping it. Could it have been prevented. Plus extreme vetting. Inside the life and death situations of veterinarian student operating a large and kpexotic pooes to earn their stripes, showing it takes more than a love of animals to save their lives. And