Thank you, mark. Stephen stephen stephen. Jon yeah stephen whats going on, jon. Good to see you. cheers and applause hey youre very nice. Oh, the people wonderful. What a lovely crowd. Welcome to the late show. Im stephen colbert. Everybody feeling good . cheers and applause nice. People are excited about joe biden is what theyre excited about. cheers and applause i wish that was for me. Big political news today is that al gore went to trump tower yesterday to talk Climate Change with donald trump. Yeah, yeah. applause first half of the meeting was convincing trump that al gore was not a hoax invented by the chinese. When gore emerged from the meeting, i gotta say he was passionately noncommittal. I found it an extremely interesting conversation and to be continued. laughter stephen extremely interesting and to be continued, two things that have never been used to describe al gores political career. laughter jon hey Stephen Keith breathing. Keep breathing. Meanwhile, trumps twitter stream is just as polluted as ever. This morning he issued this tweet yeah, just cancel. Just treat a 4 billion plane like a pizza from grub hub. Cancel. I hope boeing wasnt close to finishing it. Its kind of a custom order. I guess they could put it on the Seattle Craigslist available bulletproof 747 that can outmaneuver a hellfire missile. 4 billion, or best offer. Serious inquiries only. And then later, trump put his tweet where his mouth is. We want boeing to make a lot of money, but not that much money. Okay . Thank you. laughter stephen a sentiment that is captured on his new hat make America Great again. Not that great. laughter cheers and applause now, after the comments, boeings stock took an immediate sharp turn downward. I dont know if donald Trump Realizes that for the next four years, his most casual offhand comments could shake the stock market. He could cause the next Great Depression with a bad yelp review of taco bell. Gordita supreme tastes so authentic, im having it deported. cheers and applause now, a lot of worried people out there are trying to keep trump from being president , even at this point. A member of the Electoral College named christopher souprun, just wrote an apsed, why i will not cast my electoral vote for donald trump. He said trump is unfit for office and as evidence he cites donald trump. This makes souprun, called a faithless elector, also a lifetime movie about a wife having an affair with a voting machine. This guy suggests that instead of trump, republican electors should vote for someone like Governor John Kasich of ohio. Come on its a protest vote. You can pick anyone on the planet, and you choose john kasich. Thats like a jeanie giving you three wishes and you saying, ill take three old navy giftcards. Theyre great by the way. Obviously, one of your wishes would be for an old navy giftcard. Speaking of gift cards, do you guys use amazon . Of course you do. Where else are you going to go at 4 00 a. M. To buy a tent, a nose hair trimmer, and a clarinet . They suggest those together. Hair trimmer and clarinet look alike. Dont mix those up. Theyre very painful but sound beautiful. Well, amazon has announced that it is opening a line of brick andmortar Grocery Stores called amazon go, which, according to their website, is a new kind of store with no checkout required. Simply use the amazon go app to enter the store, take the products you want, and go ive done that. Its called stealing. laughter just take it and go. applause just think no checkout means never again will you get stuck in line behind some old person counting change. Now youll get stuck in line behind an old person trying to install an app on their smartphone. Anyway, good luck, amazon. I just hope nobody comes up with a way to buy stuff on the internet, or these stores are going to get crushed. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Vice President Joe Biden is here. Stick around. applause i tried hard to quit smoking. But when we brought our daughter home that was it. Now i have nicoderm cq. The nicoderm cq patch with unique extended release Technology Helps prevent your urge to smoke all day. Its the best thing that ever happened to me. Can you say thanks nicoderm cq . Every great why needs a great how. Thonly once a yeargh saturday at kohls friends and family save a little more with an extra 25 off so you can give a little more this holiday. Its time to get cozy so bundle up for the Tree Lighting spread some Holiday Cheer and give a cozy nights sleep. Kohls. vo its the holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best network. both yes vo with no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you dont use. And right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only 40 per line. And, just for the holidays, buy the motoz play droid absolutely free. No tradein required. I love you in that, no, i love you in that. 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Jon oh, yeah cheers and applause stephen you know, people watch this show for a lot of different reasons, mostly, obviously, for information. laughter but a lot of people out there they tell me they think of me like a dad. I often hear that from my own kids, which is nice. laughter in fact, people tell me all the time that they think of me as their tv dad. Well, i know how important as a dad it is to spend quality times with kids, especially in Uncertain Times like these. So i guess i should sit you down and check in on how things are going with the family. Thats right, dads calling a family meeting. cheers and applause grunts hey, buddy. Take a load off. Listen. I was hoping we could have a little rap session here, you know, connect, just sort some stuff out like you gotta do every so often. But, you know, im really a father figure. I dont have any real power around here. Thats why ive also invited a father figure who has Actual Authority your pops, joe. Come on here. Good to see you, pops. cheers and applause its so important you do this every so often. Its so important to have these meetings. I know. They dont listen all the time, though. cheers and applause stephen yeah, yeah. Exactly. So, listen. cheers and applause all right, sit down, fella. Sit down. We have to talk. You cant clap your way out of this meeting. We have to talk about this. Hey, champ. How you doing . Stephen pops and i are worried about the sudden changes. We know youre worried about the changes the family is going through. Happens to every family. But im telling you, this terrible feeling youre having right now . Its not permanent. It will be over in four years maybe 8. Theres an old saying in this family life is like a grandfather clock. Stephen exactly, life is like a grandfather clock maybe the pendium has wing to one side but it the swing back to the other. Point is, you should probably get a newer clock. Or better yet, just look at your phone. Stephen time is right on there. Hey, buddy, were not done. Sit down. Were just getting started. Do you need some bug spray for the ants in your pants. Thats a dad joke. Get used to. Theres Something Else we need to talk to you about. Look, were not mad. Were just disappointed. Stephen im actually mad. Im actually very mad. We overheard you using some pretty salty language the other day. We know youre better than that. We tonight want to hear those swear words from you hogwash or baloney or malarkey. Stephen joe, joe, were on cbs. Theyre going to bleep half of that. Im sorry. Im so gosh darn disappointed that is the angriest i have ever seen this man look what you did sorry, im sorry. Stephen look what you did to your pop you made him say the d word. Are you going to be okay . I think so so. Stephen look, i dont mean to come down tow hard on you, buddy, i just dont think its the job of your cad to be a best friend. Well, i do, i do. Look, here are some leftover fireworks. I want you to take them, i want you to go out, and i want you to go out and have some fun, have some fun. You know,un, you dont you know, you know, kiddo, dont think i havent noticed youve been cutting some corners when youve been mowing the lawn lately. Stephen yeah, yeah. Thats a thing in this family, life is like a grandfather clock no, no, we already did that. We already did that. Stephen well, then whats the saying . The saying is, any job worth doing is worth doing well. Stephen okay, you have to always do your best to mow the lawn. It doesnt matter that somebody else is about to get the job of mowing the lawn after you, even though as far as you can tell, that person has never touched a lawnmower in his life. laughter applause look, look, look, kid, it doesnt matter who is mowing it. The point is the greatest lawn in the world. And no matter our differences, were all responsible for its upkeep. And ive got to believe that in their heart, the next mower is is going to do the best they can to make sure that lawn, that everyone feels safe to have a picnic on it. laughter . Stephen thats a beautiful metaphor. laughter . Metaphor . Metaphor. Okay. Look, im talking about mowing the lawn. What are you talking about . Stephen same thing. Im talking about the same thing. Listen, buddy, just remember, when youre doing a job, always give 110 and always respect your boss. Especially if he has the Nuclear Launch codes. laughter . Stephen good point. Listen to this man. And you know what . You know what . Heres heres 20 bucks. Go have some fun. Hey, you know, you know what i need to borrow that 20 bucks. laughter applause you know im im losing my job pretty soon. Im losing my job pretty soon. Stephen oh, youre losing your job. Oh, yeah, thats right. So what are you going to do next, bosdz . Well, im going to follow my passion, you know, speedboat racing. I love danger, you know. And you got your whole life ahead of you, kid. Stephen yeah, youve got your whole life ahead of you. Dont listen to him. Speak of life i think its maybe time we had the talk. Dont be embarrassed up here. Dont be embarrassed. Perfectly natural. Pops, tell him about the birds and the bees. Heres the deal theyre disappearing at an alarming rate. laughter applause both birds and bee populations. Theyre plummeting. Theyre plummeting. Stephen you know what would get those populations back up . Sex. But youre too young to know about that stuff. Look, go ask your mother. You know, you know, what. Youre a kid kid. Here heres 20 bucks from your pop. Go have some fun grrm that we love you. Well be right back with vice President Joe Biden. But we love you, we love you. applause hey come quick. My new beer, stella artois, is finished. The people will love it. Originally brewed for the holidays. Enjoyed ever since. Stella artois. 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Liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. Come seek the royal caribbean. You never believed in fairytales. Knights in shining armor or happily ever after. But you believed when the right one came along, youd be ready. Time to shine. Orbit. Of reach for far too long s have Health Insurance. Thats been out how . They enrolled through covered california. Its the Health Insurance marketplace where youll find a range of plans from leading Health Insurance companies that offer you the best combination of quality, rates, and benefits. And, through covered california, you may get financial help to pay for coverage. To have Health Insurance starting january 1st, you need to enroll by december 15th. Visit covereca. Com today. cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody welcome back. Folks, my first guest tonight is the 47th Vice President of the United States. Please welcome Vice President joseph biden. Joe Biden Joe Biden joe Biden Joe Biden joe Biden Joe Biden joe biden cheers and applause stephen welcome back. Its great to be back. Stephen so nice to see you again. Good to see you, pal. Stephen well, this is the first time weve spoke own air in over a year, and it is the First Television interview youve done since the election. Some people were shocked that night. Some people were quite surprised. What was that night like for you . Well, ive been in a closet since then. I havent come out no. laughter look, it was a it was a it was disappointing, to state the obvious. And but there were signs toward the end that this was going to be a lotno closer the thought. Hillary did get 2. 5 million more votes, but the truth of the matter is. cheers and applause but, by the way, this is fair and square won. We have an electoral system. Were a republic. And thats the way it works. But i did a total of 84 Campaign Events for her, and toward the end, you could feel there was there was a change. Because this was the there was hardly any discussion about any issues in this campaign. And i remember getting off the plane i guess i was going to cleveland and speaking to a large crowd of a couple of thousand people, and i said what really has me upset is the fact is that the press has only covered these sort of outrageous assertions that have been made, and and there was no discussion of the things that elections are supposed to be about, a referendum on ideas and about what weather what were going to do about education or jobs o or foreign policy. And i, you know, the campaign knew at that time that that the concern was whether there was going to be enough turnout among millennials and there was a concern about the states that in fact turned out very closely but went the other way. Stephen well, the last time you were here, you hadnt made up your mind yet as to whether you were going to run for president. And i asked you at the time, and you couldnt give me an answer at the time. And youve said that you have regretted every day not running. Was there a particular day or days. laughter because for me it was november 9 bthree weeks ago. laughter but was there a day in the last year that you went, i wish i had jumped in . Look, let me be clear. About the regret. I know i made the right decision for my family. I know i made the right decision im not sure i would have been able to put my whole heart into it. But what i regret is the circumstance that led me not to be able to run. I do think that i its a terrible thing to say, on many peoples minds, but do i think i was best prepared at this moment to lead the country . I i i did, because i mean i thought the issues that are of greatest concern were in my wheelhouse, things ive dealt with my whole career. So in that sense, im disappointed that im not going to be in a position to be making some of those decisions. But i dont regret the actual decision. The decision was the right decision for me to have made. And by the way, you know, i learned you want to become the most popular guy in america . Announce youre not running. Announce youre not run, and, boy, everything moves in a direction. Who knows what would have happened had i run . Stephen well, we might find out because yesterday were you were on capitol hill when you were asked by a reporter, are you going to run for office again . Is it and you said and i quote, yeah, i am, im going to run in 2020. Reporter, for what . For president , so, you know, what the hell man. cheers and applause well, look, stephen, i know, i did that for one reason. So i could announce now im not running and be popular again. laughter i mean, because i learned. Stephen theres no way . You didnt mean that . What the hell, Vice President . Look, ive become you and i talked about this in a different context before. Im a great respecter of fate. I dont plan on running again. But to say you know whats going to happen in four years i just think is is not rational. I that is the sound of a door creeking open, is that what that is. Well look i mean, i cant see the circumstance in which id run, but what ive learned a long long, long time ago, stephen to never say never. You dont know whats going to happen. Hell, donald trump is going to be 74. Ill be 77 nbetter shape. Who knows . Stephen arm wrestling. cheers and applause maybe arm wrestling. No, i have no plans i have no plans. Stephen no plans . But im going to stay deeply, deeply involved. Every morning ive gotten up since i was 26 years old. There have been some issues. There were issues i am concerned. My dad had an expression, a lucky publish gets up in the morning, puts both feet on the floor and knows what hes going to do and it matters. There are things i care deeply about, violence against women to whether or not we have a rational arms control policy applause . Stephen youve been you know, youve been in washington, in Public Service for over 40 years. What do you expect from the Trump Administration . Now, yall are going to laugh when i say this. But the honest to god truth si dont know. No, but im being deadly earnest here. I dont think i dont think the president himself knows for certain. laughter no, by the way, president s who really knew why they were running and had thought they were going to win and planned, you get there, and its a different world. Im telling you. Its a different world. I served in the senate for 36 years. One of the reasons the president asked me to join him was because i allegedly knew a lot about the government. But its a different laughter but all kidding aside. It is the Largest Corporation in the world. It is, you know, if youre going to do it well, it takes you, you know, 10 to 12 hours a day just absorbing information. And if you look at the people that donald trump has named so far, some give me great pause. Theres other people hes appointed offed in the administration that are very solid. Elaine chao, is fully capable being a great secretary of labor. So its just i dont think anybody knows for certain, but we have to be vigilant, and when in fact it looks like the administration is moving in the direction that is harmful or dangerous, or or if im counting on president elect trump to tamp down the this bitterness thees being promoted about everything from the l. G. B. T. Community to African Americans to muslims. I mean what do you make of a president or president elect who seems to be responding on the spur of the moment with tweets to personal slights, like attacking alec baldwin on s. N. L. , or taking a moment to cancel an order from boeing based on we dont know what . laughter and, like, it seems a little mecuriel. Well, i can understand going after latenight hosts. I can understand that. It makes a lot of sense to me, to attack you guys. I dont know. No, look im afraid thats all we have time for. laughter . Look, i we dont we want the steadiest possible hand we do. Stephen and the president is saying the first thing that occurs to his thumbs, its a little unnerving. Yes, it is but, you know, look, weve got to do look, lets assume the the worst. It makes no sense to start this off without the rest of us saying were going to give this guy an actual even shot. Were going to give him a clear shot to do the job. Were going to actually be there to work with him, and when he has good ideas and challenge his ideas when theyre not. Heres what i hope we get away from. I hope we get away from what is basically an adhom nem argument that takes place today. Its always about the other guys motive, what the other guy intends, not so much what he thinks or what hes proposing but the reason he did that is because of the following. I just dont think it gets us very far. One thing is going to happen youre going to see the debate sharpen very, very drastically because theyre not going to be reporting about whether what he said on a particular show i hope. Theyre going to be talking about whether or not his idea to deal with trade mawks sense, whether his idea to deal withing about a wall makes sense. There will be a real debate engaged which never occurred in the last election. I think and quite frankly, unless he changes some of his views, i think its going to be reports of the demise of the Democratic Party are premature. I see them coming back big time in 2018. Stephen well, well find out, well find out. Well find out. Stephen well be right back with more joe biden. Stick around, everybody. applause welcome. Look at these old navy pajamas. Homemade hors doeuvres . Uh nobody cares. As i was saying, before my sister rudely interrupted, i dont know why im so disgustingly generous. By giving you guys luxurious pajamas from old navy. Awe thank you. 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This on the other hand, will not be simple. You gonna have to ride the belt. Hotels. Com. So simple, its the obvious choice. I have liquids in my body oh, its actually. Sfx short balloon squeal its ver. Sfx balloon squeals ok can we. Sfx balloon squeals goodbye oof, that milk in your coffee was messing with you, wasnt it . Try lactaid, its real milk, without that annoying lactose. Good right . Yeah. Lactaid. The milk that doesnt mess with you. applause stephen were here with your friend and mine, vice President Joe Biden. Now, one of the things the responsibility that youve taken on in the last year is what you are calling the cancer moonshot, what you and the president called the cancer moonshot, to put the country and our Research Facilities can and put the Government Support behind the idea of finding a cure for cancer in the next 10 years. How do you approach this as a father who lost his son a year and a half ago to the disease that youre hoping to bring an end to . How does that affect you personally . Look, you and i in one of our private conversations, you told you about the i got a letter an awful lot of you, by the way maybe some in the audience were incredibly generous to my family and me when we lost our son, but a lot of people have had equally bad things or worse happen to them and dont have the support that i have had. They get up every morning. They put one foot in front of the other and they go out there and they do their job and they move. And thats what i keep thinking about, those people. And i also, as i said to you, i got a letter from vicki kennedy, ted kennedys wife she was a great friend and a friend of my sons as well, both my sons. And she included in the letter a copy of the a letter that her fatherinlaw, who she never knew, ambassador kennedy, teds father, had written to a friend in 1954 who had just lost his son. And remember, ambassador kennedy lost his eldest son, joe, in world war ii. And joe was the guy thought to be destined to be the president and the leader of the family. And writing to his she said every time teddy would get really down, hed go to the top drawer of his bureau and pull out the letter and read the letter his father wrote to his friend. And theres a line in the letter that says to his friend im make the name up. I dont remember, john, john, theres no way to explain the loz, and theres no answer i know how to fill the void, except one thing. I determined shortly after joe died, id ask myself what would joe do if he were here . and i devoted my life to doing what i thought joe would do. That fills the void. It makes it worthwhile. And i know that if it were reversed, beau would be spending his time to bring together the great minds in the Cancer Research world, all around the world, to focus have have a greater sense of urgency on what can be done to do in the next five years what ordinarily would take 10, to take some cancers and turn them into chronic diseases, completely cure others. You know, when nixon declared the war on cancer in 1961 71 he had no army. He had no tools. He had he had no real information. And so the entire structure set up to deal with cancer was sort of a joan aassault model, one guy or woman in a laboratory finding a specific cure. Well, we didnt know then, there are over 200 different cancers, completely different cancers. There are tools we have now that didnt exist. We can compute to the degree of a million, billion calculations per second. There have been hundreds of thousands, millions of cancer genomes that have been done, sequenced. Theres all this data. And one of the things we found out is if youre prepared to share that data which the culture of medicine isnt prepared to do yet if they share that data, we can find answers. Ill bet every one of you know somebody who has had cancer hopefully not in your family, but maybe in your family and a treatment was prescribed. And for another person who had the same cancer a treatment was prescribed and it worked on one and not the other . Why . Why is that happening . Well, there are answers. And the only way to do that is to aggregate massive amounts of data and use the technology we have to be able to look at patterns and how it changes, what works and what doesnt work and why it works. For example, i did this report for the president with these brilliant, brilliant Cancer Specialists from around the world, and signed a memorandum of understanding with 10 different nations appeared at the u. N. When we had the General Assembly to share all this information. One of the things that we found out is that for example, the largest hospital in the world is the veterans hospital. They have more data on cancer. They have more blood samples to test whether there are markers in your blood for cancer, which theyre finding out now they can figure those things out. And all of a sudden, we got a phone call from from the company that happens to have a Little Machine called watson and said, why dont we make watson available to you . Because watson has read every single solitary piece of data on cancer around the world. So now someone gets cancer in the military, they go to the hospital at walter reed, they get their human genome sequenced. It gets put into watton. Watton in a matter of hours can show you every field on that type of cancer toinar oat field exponentially what will work better. There are all kinds of things beginning to happen. The biggest thing is change the culture of sharing data, sharing information, not hording it. And were beginning to break down these silos and barriers and i think were going to make enormous progress. Stephen well, one of the things that applause one of the things that gives me hope is that on this issue at least, you and the president and leaders from the other side have been able to bring people together. Theres a bill that has now passed the house and it just passed the senate and its anything to be going to the president s desk for signature allocating 1. 8 billion to this effort of the moonshot, along with other research. And mitch mcconnell, the majority leader for the republicans, did something that i thought was a beautiful gesture. I agree. Stephen and named the bill for your son. He did. You know, its the senate i used to know. applause stephen thats something that you just dont hear anymore. No, its the senate i grew up in. Theres a lot of decency. We treated each other with respect. It was a generous thing to do. And, you know, you know and ts on getting this passed, whose called the cures bill were among the leaders were two of them were the leading republicans in the house of representatives. This is the one bipartisan issue. And i remember when i was saying i hope i can get, before the year is out, another 1 billion for cancer. We got 1. 8 billion. When i say, i got. But its an example of how how we used to work we have to listen to each other. We dont listen very much anymore. Within my party now, theres a debate that we either have to somehow yield on our progressive principles relating to women and African Americans, l. G. B. T. Communities. I said, look, i take a back seat as no one. I got listed as one of the most liberal voting records in 36 years. I was the guy that said i was totally comfortable with gay marriage and things began to change. I make no excuses for my position. applause but heres the deal. But what ive found is that is not at all inconsistent with looking out for the people in the neighborhoods i grew up with, working people, high schooleducated people who are scared to death, who all of a sudden find themselveses on a scrapheap because they have good jobs, and all of a sudden their job is gone, and they no longer theyre not qualified to the new digital age. They dont know what to do. Theyre frightened. Theyre scared. The neighborhoodses i come from in scrantom and clamont and wilmington, theyre as progressive but they need to know you understand their problem, you understand their fear, you understand their concern. And a lot of them are being left behind. Stephen mr. Vice president are, you sure you wont run in four years . laughter applause . cheers heres what im sure of what im sure of is that with every ounce of energy in me, im going to continue to fight for the things i always believed in, which i think are basic fundamental american values. It sounds corny, but there are two things. Everyone is entitled to be treated with dignity. And as my dad would say, joe, a jobs about a lot more than a paycheck. Its your dignity. Its your respect. Its your place in the community. And the second fundamental principle is the abuse of power should not be tolerated at all under any circumstances. cheers and applause stephen i agree to that. Weve weve got to go, but before we go, i just want to know, do you know that jon batiste and i have challenged you and the president to a twoontwo basketball game. Im ready. Stephen youre ready. Im ready. Stephen youre in. Now, i want you to know, jon, the president is going to go to his left. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, i want you to know. Ive got colbert. Im not taking you. Stephen hey, hey so hes in, im in, youre in. Weve got to get barack. Stephen mr. President , mr. President , come on. And, by the way, he may bring along lebron, i dont know. Jon whoa stephen whatever, see me shake. Mr. Vice president , thank you for being here. Its always a pleasure to have you here. Vice President Joe Biden. applause this tuesday through saturday at kohls only once a year friends and family save a little more with an extra 25 off so you can give a little more this holiday. Its time to get cozy so bundle up for the Tree Lighting spread some Holiday Cheer and give a cozy nights sleep. Kohls. applause breakout the syrup because dennys new fluffier, tastier, applause hey, hey hey, hey stephen hey, everybody. My next guest is a recording artist, business mogul, snapchat sensation, and now author of the new book, the keys. Please welcome dj khaled. applause got money on my mind i can never get enough so blessed. Hey, great. Theyre great. Stephen im so excited youre here. I feel like i have to bless up. We definitely have to bless up at all times. Weve got life, man. Everybody got life. We have to bless up every single day. Stephen life is good. More life is better. Music mogul producer, snapchat star, recording artist, today, nominated for a grammy. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you so much. Stephen thats great. For your rap album major key. Thats right. Stephen and now youre an author. Thats right. Stephen youre author of the book the keys. And its a New York Times bestseller list. And thats the major key. Stephen when do you sleep . You do a lot. Well, you know, the key is to get some rest. But, but i have to be honest with you. I really dont sleep that much. I get, like, four hours, sometimes on a lucky day, six. I just had my biggest blessing in the world is my son. And so i gotta wake up every two, three hours. Stephen congratulations. You know what im saying . I love it, though. Im not tired. Im great. Im healthy. Im vibrant. Im blessed. Stephen your father came to the United States with 20 in his pocket. Yes, absolutely. Stephen do you think youre living the American Dream . Absolutely, man. Im living not just the American Dream, a world dream, just a blessing man. You know what im saying . Hard work pays off. The key is to stay focused and believe in your vision, believe in yourself. And dont dont get distracted. Stay away from they. Never complain. Just keep thats woivet keys right here. Youve got a handy little list on the front. I have read the book cover to cover and read both covers of the book so far. Number one, stay away from they. Who is they, and why . They are the people who dont believe in you, they dont want us to win. They dont want us on your show. And im on your show. Stephen you know what i say when the show goes particularly well, i say, mark i feel sorry for them tonight. They thought they could stop us. I dont know who they are, but they didnt stop us tonight. I have a solution, a key to that, stay away from they. Stephen stephen what is that . Its called they block. And they block is brought to you by myself, cocoa butter and palmers because i love cocoa butter. This is a special edition called they block. When they around just put a little put a little on your hands. And you good. You good. cheers and applause you know what im saying in applause you know what im saying . Stephen thats nice. Thats nice. I smell delicious right now its amazing, its amazing. Stephen i can keep the they block. Yes. Can comes out december 13. You have an exclusive. Stephen fantastic. What is, win, win, win, no matter what . I. I mean, all we do is win, man. You know that. You know that. Stephen as a matter of fact, barack obama entered the Correspondents Dinner in 2013 to your song. Jim. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. laughter how do you like my new entrance music . Stephen how did that feel to have the president use your song instead of hail to the chief . You know, i never forget that day. I was in new york city at a hotel. And i was taking a nap, and i seen 100 texts, obama just walked out to your song. I prayed immediately. And i said, man, we made it. You know, for a lot of reasons we made it. My president that i love, and also, i passed every Security Check there was. laughter because you know he aint going to walk out to a song unless you unless you cleaning, you know what i mean. Im like i got a great future ahead of me. You know what i mean . Stephen yes, i do know what you mean. Its all in the keys. Go get the keys, right now. New york times bestsaler. Stephen the keys is out now. Dj khaled, everybody. Well be right back. ,,,, engine roars how else do you think he gets around so fast . Take the reins this holiday and get the mercedesbenz youve always wanted during the winter event. Hurry, offers end soon. Late show, everybody tune in tomorrow when my guests will be Sigourney Weaver andy cohen, and a performance by pilobolus. Now stick around for james corden and his guests, Billy Crystal and taron egerton. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where you come from its gonna be all right its the late, late show announcer ladies and