During his address to the u. N. Today, President Trump referred to north Korean Leader kim jongun as rocket man. Even worse, he referred to Nuclear Missiles as boom boom sticks. [ laughter ] folks, the rocket man has boom boom sticks and theres a good chance were all going to go kablooey. [ light laughter ] trump also said during his address that if north korea continues working on its nuclear program, the u. S. Will have no choice but to totally destroy north korea. Oh, my god. Trump is going to run for president of north korea [ laughter and applause ] according to cnn, investigators wire tapped former Trump Campaign chairman, Paul Manafort before and after the election. Im not surprised. Look at that guy. [ light laughter ] that face counts as probable cause. He looks like he only communicates via manila envelopes on a park bench. [ light laughter ] a lawyer who was part of the investigation that led to the impeachment trial, of former president bill clinton recently said the special counsel, robert mueller, is trying to set a tone to, quote, strike terror in the hearts of people of washington. Which used to be Steve Bannons job. Oh [ laughter and applause ] Senate Republicans led by Lindsey Graham and bill cassidy have revived the effort to repeal obamacare. Again . Usually when a bad idea comes back this many times, johnny depp is in it. [ laughter and applause ] an 83yearold grandfather in california recently pushed a suspected burglar off his roof. Neighbors are calling it shocking, while the roofer is calling it the last time he works on that house. [ laughter ] and finally, the Italian Restaurant chain Villa Italian Kitchen is adding a new Pumpkin Spice pizza to its menu. And if you like that, youre going to love starbucks new linguine mocha. [ audience groans ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight [ cheers and applause ] he is one of our favorites, the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on cnn, Anderson Cooper is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] one of the first standup comedy shows i ever saw live, my parents took my brother and i to see this next guy, hes a hilarious comedian whos the subject of the new documentary, gilbert. Gilbert gottfried, the one and only, here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] as funny as they come. And very exciting, to have this author here. Her second novel, Little Fires Everywhere is available now. Celeste ng joins us on late night tonight. [ applause ] cant wait to chat with her about her great book. Before we get to all that, even as the russia investigation reportedly nears its first possible indictment of a trump associate, the gop is insisting on ramming through a radical plan to repeal obamacare without even waiting to find out what it does. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] seth of course, with Everything Else going on, trump has also been preoccupied lately with the north Korean Nuclear program. And since it seems like threats and sanctions have not stopped north Korean Leader kim jongun so far, trump is trying out a new tactic, nicknames. Over the weekend, he tweeted, i spoke with president moon of south korea last night, asked him how rocket man is doing. And then today he repeated the nickname, not in a tweet, but in his first speech to the United Nations general assembly. The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy north korea. Rocket man is on a Suicide Mission for himself. And for his regime. Seth why are you calling him rocket man . [ light laughter ] thats not a diss. Thats a cool nickname. [ laughter ] youre making him sound like a character from top gun. Hey. Hey, rocket man, youre on a Suicide Mission. And theres only one way to settle this. On the volleyball court. [ laughter and applause ] so trump trump is again threatening north korea with military force, even though that seems to have failed as a strategy so far. In fact, as we know, trump loves talking about the military. He surrounded himself with generals, called for massive increases in military spending, and during a meeting with french president Emmanuel Macron yesterday, trump talked about how much he loved frances bastille day military parade and suggested he might want to replicate it here in the u. S. On the 4th of july. Its one of the greatest parades ive ever seen. It was two hours on the button, and it was military might. It had representatives from different wars, and different uniforms. Were going to have to try and top it. But we had a lot of planes going over it and we had a lot of military might. Seth trump talks about the military like a kid who just got home from his first air show. We had a lot of planes going over head, and one of them did a flip, and another one made a boom, and then when he landed, one of the pilots, he tossed me his sunglasses, and he said, hey, kid, ill see you in the skies. and then i said, thanks rocket man. [ applause ] of course, it might be a little foolhardy to make plans for next july, considering the speed with which the russia investigation is engulfing trumps white house. Yesterday was yet another bombshell about the russia investigation being conducted by special counsel, robert mueller, suggesting that mueller may be close to indicting one of trumps closest associates. His former campaign chief, Paul Manafort. Breaking news tonight on special counsel Robert Muellers case against Paul Manafort. According to the New York Times when federal agents executed a search warrant on manaforts Virginia Home two months ago, which was reported more recently, the special counsel followed up with a warning. His prosecutors told manafort they planned to indict him. Quote, paul j. Manafort was in bed early one morning in july when federal agents bearing a search warrant, picked the lock on his front door and raided his Virginia Home. They took binders stuffed with documents and copied his computer files, looking for evidence that manafort had set up secret offshore bank accounts. They even photographed the expensive suits in his closet. Seth thats right. They photographed his expensive suits. Well, manafort might like to shop at armani, but where hes headed is definitely more of a mens warehouse. [ laughter and applause ] now, the hardnosed tactics being used by mueller have been described by some as a shock and awe approach, with one former independent counsel saying muellers approach is intended to scare people into telling him the truth. They are setting a tone. Its important early on to strike terror in the hearts of people in washington, or else you will be rolled. And if theres anyone who can strike terror in the hearts of people in washington, its robert mueller. Look at him. He looks like the doorknocker on a haunted castle. [ laughter ] another former prosecutor said the investigation resembled the way Law Enforcement has historically gone after the mob, telling the times, they seem to be pursuing this more aggressively, taking a much harder line than you would expect to see in a typical white collar case. This is more consistent with how you go after an organized crime syndicate. And that is so unfair. How dare anyone call the Trump Administration organized [ laughter ] theyre basically [ cheers and applause ] come on. Organized. Theyre basically running the government like a roomba. Yeah, we just go until we hit a wall and then go somewhere else. And we suck the whole time. [ laughter and applause ] so so with the russia investigation escalating rapidly, how is the president s legal Team Responding . Well, yesterday the New York Times reported that there are internal divisions between trumps lawyers over how much to cooperate with the special counsel. Trumps lawyer, ty cobb, has accused the white house counsel, don mcgahn, together known as franklin and stache of withholding Sensitive Information from the rest of the team. According to the times, cobb said of mcgahn, hes got a couple documents locked in a safe. The craziest part, though, is how the New York Times found out about cobbs comments. It wasnt from an interview or an anonymous source. Instead, cobb was overheard by a reporter for the New York Times discussing the dispute during a lunch time conversation at a popular washington steakhouse. The Trump Administration is worried about leaks, and yet it keeps hiring people who are the physical manifestation of leaks. [ light laughter ] when they talk, it should just be the sound of air escaping a balloon. [ sound of air escaping ] [ laughter and applause ] now, obviously, we dont know yet where the russia investigation will lead. But one things for sure. It will continue to infuriate trump, who remains obsessed with both the 2016 election and in particular hillary clinton. So much so, that he retweeted a video from a fan account over the weekend that made it look like he hit hillary in the back with a golf ball. And hey man, i dont know if you noticed, but youre the one under fbi investigation with Approval Ratings in the low 30s. If youre going to post memes of yourself golfing, at least make them more accurate. [ laughter and applause ] and, yet he was so happy to swallow hes so happy to eat a golf ball. [ light laughter ] and yet even with these scandals swirling around historically unpopular president , trumps party is still trying to push through his domestic agenda, specifically his promise to repeal and replace obamacare. The gop is like, your friend who knows only one song on the guitar. And hes drunk and no one wants to hear it, but hes tuning it up again. Republicans are pushing a new bill that is in many ways even more radical than previous bills. The new bill would eliminate obamacares subsidies for private insurance and end the medicaid expansion. States could allow for waivers to let insurers charge sick patients higher premiums and stop covering certain benefits required under the Affordable Care act, like maternity care, or prescription drugs. Although last week when trump first heard about the new Gop Health Care bill being advanced in the senate, he talked about it in vague terms and made clear he had no idea what it was. Well be discussing probably a little bit of health care, because i know some informations come to light. Seth some informations come to light. Every time trump talks about health care he sounds like a teaser trailer for a soap opera. Next week on an all new trumpcare. We had to go with the health care first. And were doing well. I think were going to have some great surprises. [ laughter ] seth what kind of surprises . This latest attempt to ram through a Health Care Bill that would literally take money away from Vulnerable People without letting people know what it would do, is why democrats need to be extremely careful before making any deals with trump and the gop. Trump has apparently commented recently that its much easier to get along with democratic leaders, Chuck Schumer and nancy pelosi than with gop leaders, paul ryan and mitch mcconnell. According to politico, trump has dismissed ryan as, quote, a boy scout and complained in private that its difficult to have any sort of relationship or even make small talk with Senate Majority leader, mitch mcconnell. Oh, i wish i could see trump trying to make small talk with mitch mcconnell. Do you have a gold apartment . I do not, mr. President. Oh. [ laughter ] why does your face look like that . [ laughter ] meanwhile, after a meeting between trump and schumer, his fellow new yorker, a congressmen who was present, said trump and schumer got along so well, it was almost like a lovein at times and schumer was caught on a hot mic on the senate floor gushing about how much trump likes the democrats. And him in particular, even telling a colleague that his new partnership with trump would go smoothly. He likes us. He likes me, anyway. Heres what i told him i said, mr. President , youre much better off if you can sometimes step right and sometimes step left. If you have to step just in one direction youre boxed. [ inaudible ] always gonna work out. Seth no it wont work out [ light laughter ] hell only be your ally as long as youre useful to him. Havent you seen how he treats his friends . First youll stand behind him at a press conference, and the next thing you know youre eating nachos and yelling at people at baseball games. Its a precipitous ball. [ laughter and applause ] remember this is still the same donald trump who ran a cruel bigoted campaign. Who called mexicans rapists, bragged about committing sexual assault, and fired the fbi director for investigating his administration. In fact, just last week after an attack on the london underground, before any details were known, trump doubled down on his call for a muslim travel ban. Trump tweeting, the travel ban into the United States should be far larger, tougher and more specific. But stupidly, that would not be politically correct. And then there was this. We have made more progress in the last nine months against isis than the Obama Administration has made in eight years. Must be proactive, and nasty. Seth must be proactive and nasty . Thats not a terrorism strategy. Thats a prince bside. [ light laughter ] you know what, can we actually hear a little proactive and nasty . Im not gonna wait for that ass to come to me uh yeah im about to get proactive and nasty seth thats it. [ laughter and applause ] so one of trumps closest associates is on the verge of being indicted, and the gop is trying to ram through a massively unpopular bill that could strip Health Care Away from millions. Ill say it again. Donald trump is really hitting a hole in one. [ light laughter ] right into his own mouth. This has been a closer look. [ applause ] well be right back with Anderson Cooper, everybody [ cheers and applause ] for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Liberty mutual stood with me when this guy got a flat tire in the middle of the night. Hold on dad. Liberty did what . Yeah, Liberty Mutual 24hour roadside assistance helped him to fix his flat so he could get home safely. My dad says our insurance doesnt have that. Dont worry i know what a lug wrench is, dad. Is this a lug wrench . Maybe . You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™. Liberty stands with you™. Liberty mutual insurance. Hey, leggo my eggo. I dont see your name on it. Really . Ba bam know the rules. Keep your eggo. Leggo my eggo. Okay. Fortyeight hours of protection. I dont have to reapply this, not once. Its really soft and almost velvety as you put it on. Thats like really soft. Try dove advanced care for softer, smoother underarms. 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Dr. Scholls. Born to move. Dr. Holls. Born to move. The all new 2018 camry. Toyota. Lets go places. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody and please give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] also, so excited. Joining us this week, fred armisen is back, everybody. Give it up for fred [ cheers and applause ] and fred its so im so happy to see you. I saw you this weekend, we sat right next to each other, a row apart, at the emmys . Yeah, that was fun. Seth congratulations on your portlandia nomination. Thank you. And congratulations to you. Seth thank you. And this would be when i congratulated each other on winning, but that didnt happen. [ light laughter ] well, we dont know yet. Seth yeah, we dont know yet. Youre right. [ laughter ] yeah. Seth theres going to be a recount. Um [ laughter ] fred, im so impressed. You do so many things. Youre always so busy. Not just portlandia. This show, a million other products projects i should say. And now youre in the lego ninjago movie. Youre a voice in the lego. And this is your character right here. Im going to put him down. Thats really [ laughter ] very fitting. Very well done. Yeah. Seth yeah. Thats cole. Seth thats cole. Yeah, yeah. Seth thats your character cole. Thats great. And i got to be honest, you do so many things. Things that are real. And yet i feel like sometimes you exaggerate and you tell people other things that youre doing that are not real, that are fake. Yeah. But i [ laughter ] i think its true, because and, again, i just think you should be satisfied with the things you do that are actually happening. cause i heard you backstage telling somebody that you spoke at the u. N. General assembly today. [ laughter ] yes. Seth you did do that . I absolutely did. Seth you cause you want to double down and say in front of this audience that you definitely spoke at the u. N. General assembly . I spoke for an hour and a half . [ laughter ] seth okay. Do you want to give us a taste of what you said to the u. N. General assembly . Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the elevators in this building [ light laughter ] you have to remember to let everyone else off first. [ laughter ] you cannot rush into that thing, pushing people around. And three goes to the commissary. [ speaking in Foreign Language ] [ laughter ] seth wait, was the only 90 minutes basically just what you said translated into all of the languages . And i just went through all the languages. [ laughter ] seth because, you know, they wear translator headsets. I thought they were listening to music. [ laughter ] seth they had to hear that 90 times in their language. Im so sorry. I have another speech tomorrow, i guess. Seth all right, well apologizing. Seth best of luck. Whats tomorrows about . Same thing. [ laughter ] seth give it up for fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is an emmywinning journalist who hosts Anderson Cooper 360 weeknights on cnn. Please welcome back to the show, our friend, Anderson Cooper, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im very well. Seth you look great. I will admit, it is nice after the hurricane to see you here dry. Yes, i know. Seth not in your iconic black tshirt. [ light laughter ] i saw your bit. I know you enjoyed our hurricane coverage. Seth i enjoy your hurricane coverage. I enjoy the Anderson Cooper black tshirt. How did you first find your way i was going to bring out, like, a little, tiny baby black tshirt to give you, but i couldnt find one. Seth yeah. There were all being washed by me. Seth how do you find your way to a black tshirt in the first place . So theres a reason why you wear a black tshirt, like, in the field or in a storm, is because a. , youre wet all of the time. Seth yeah. And if youre in a lightcolored tshirt and youre dirty, people are going to comment on how dirty you are. Seth yeah. If youre sweating and youre not wet, youre just sweating, then theyll comment on how sweaty and black or dark shirts hide the sweat. So there is a reason for it. Seth yeah. But i feel like youre still the only guy doing it. No. Are you no. e [ laughter ] well, maybe so. Seth well, i feel like other guys, like, wear slickers and coats. And you will stay in the black tshirt longer. No, thats not true. Ill wear a ill wear a coat. Seth okay. But when youre sopping wet, it doesnt matter, like, youre wet. Seth yeah. So no matter what you youre wearing a coat, but, like, the water comes in. Its like having people throw buckets of water at you for 13 hours. Seth yeah. Youre sopping wet, you might as well, you know seth just rock a black tshirt. [ light laughter ] do we we kind of made this point on our show last week. Right. Seth that we think you guys should all go inside. Right. Seth can you make the argument for why you have to be out there . I mean, look first of all, we all do things which, you know, you youve what. Youve hosted the cfda Fashion Awards twice now . Seth yeah. Is that really necessary . Seth its [ laughter ] probably not. Seth probably not. Probably not. [ laughter and applause ] and yet, there you are. Seth there i am. By the way, i hosted it once so [ light laughter ] seth yeah. So you really know the second ones the dumb one. Yeah. [ laughter ] but, look, i just think its a its an incredible force of nature. And, you know, we want to document what is happening, and to see that up close is a really extraordinary thing. Seth the only thing the only argument ill make, is i feel like part of it is you guys tell people to stay inside. Right, and yet we are outside. Seth well, also, if im inside and i know black tshirt Anderson Cooper is outside [ light laughter ] youre going to go outside seth im going to go out and try to meet you. When it really gets bad, people do not go outside, thankfully. Seth yeah, thats good. But the funny thing is i was, you know, i was there for days. And im youre literally on air for, you know, ten hours at a time. And its wind and its rain. I mean, thats what it boils down to. And so by hour nine, youre like, remember six hours ago when i said it was windy . And rainy . Well now its really, really windy. [ light laughter ] and its rainy, too. But the only thing is, my mom kept emailing me while i was on the air because seth so your mom, Gloria Vanderbilt yes. Seth very famous designer and actress and model. Yes, yes. She is now 93, and i just got her to join instagram. Seth uhhuh. And she has now become obsessed with instagram and with her instagram account. To the first of all, my mom didnt understand what instagram was. And it took many times for me to try to explain it. She still doesnt quite get it. But then i made her an account, because i thought she might get a kick out of it, and i promoted it on my instagram account. And she went from zero to like 130,000 followers very quickly. And i happened to be with her as the count started going up. It was like christmas times 1,000 for her. She was like, this is the most incredible thing. She had the idea that anybody would be interested in what she was doing thrilled her. She had no idea. Seth instant addiction then. Instant addiction. Seth yeah. To the point now she email my mom never emailed me before, never called me for most of my life. [ laughter ] she now emails me about 20 times a day, and ten of them are, should i post this picture . [ laughter ] and whats annoying is when she emails, she doesnt believe when she hits send that the email necessarily goes out. So shell send three copies of the same email. [ laughter ] so i and then an hour later, its, maybe it should be this picture. And then ill finally say, why dont you do this picture . Ive limited her. Id say, look, no more than two a day. You dont want to be one of those, you know, people who needs an instagram intervention. And then shell email me, what should i say about the picture . Im like, you know what, i got a job to do. [ laughter ] i this seth does she have any appreciation or sense that you are in the middle of a hurricane . No, no. Seth yeah. Shell be like no, she really, really doesnt. Like in fact, i emailed her one time i emailed her back. I was like, you know, actually, im on the air. Im in fort myers, you know, the storm is coming and ive been on for nine hours. No recognition of it. Shed just send another one like, oh, sorry, well, let me just quickly ask you, what about this picture . [ laughter ] seth well, you opened pandoras box there by teaching your mom to instagram. I did, i did. Seth thats all on you. Yeah. Seth one of the things the president said, he sort of tried to burn the media at one point by he was talking to the coast guard about the great job they were doing. Right. And how great their brand is. Seth and how great their brand is. Right, by the way, their brand has always been amazing. The coast guard is amazing. Seth yeah. They rescued people in hurricane katrina. I think they had a pretty good brand before this. Seth they were doing fine. They just this is the first time weve had a president who is very brandconscious. I guess so. Seth but you actually went up. Because he was saying the media never goes up with him. You did go up the day before he said that i literally spent six hours in a coast guard helicopter. And what was interesting about this is, the crew the coast guard helicopter crew were so incredible. I mean, just these guys are amazing. They didnt think it was going to be a very busy day. They ended up, you know, just basically flying over flooded areas and you would think it would be very hightech. Like, theyd get communications. Theyre basically just looking out of the aircraft out of the helicopter, looking for people on roofs, waving them down. And so they found somebody and they started this rescue. So i called into cnn, into a control room. I was like, look, theyre just starting this rescue. We have this thing called a live view that allows us to go live from, really, anywhere in the world. And so we start shooting, like, my cameraman jay starts recording the rescue. And i just start narrating whats going on. But i had no idea if i was actually on television or not. Like, i didnt know if they patched me through to whoever to john king who was anchoring at the time. But all i could hear was occasionally like a muffled voice from atlanta saying like [ indiscernible ] so i didnt know what was going on. So i spent 40 minutes narrating this thing. And at the end of it had no idea if anybody had seen it. Turns out they took the entire thing, it was live, it was great for the coast guard. Seth thats such a thin line between being a Television Reporter or a crazy person. Right. Yeah. [ laughter ] seth yeah. So really like, you feel like seth yeah. Right. Thats exactly right. [ applause ] its like remember those old commercials for mr. Microphone . Hey, check ya out later remember that . Seth yeah. Literally, youre sitting in a helicopter like its like doing the after, you know after dinner show in the like seth and the best would be when you land and the coast guards like, hey, when is that going to be on . Youre like, oh, i this is not for tv. Right. [ laughter ] i actually did during hurricane katrina, we were down there for about a month or so after the storm and a couple weeks after the storm, we were on a highway overpass and i was doing my show. My show had just started and there was a hard landing by a helicopter and all of this stuff was going on and it was just incredible. And i start it was all happening, like, right in front of the cameras. And it was me and this correspondent, gary tuchman. So i start explaining whats going on. Im like, look, theres this helicopter and this goes on for ten minutes. And it was truly the most incredible ten minutes of television i have ever, ever done. And by at a 1 11 the producer gets a call and hes like, uh, theyre not taking this. This weve just and i was like, well, theres a tape in the camera, right . And the cameraman was like, theres no tape here. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] so like the best thing i have ever done does not exist. Seth oh, my goodness. Yeah. Seth well, thats why you keep chasing it. Thats why you keep going in these storms. Youve got to get that high back. I want it back seth yeah. I can do it again. Seth stay safe when you do it next time. I will, i will. Seth thank you so much for being here. Its always a pleasure to see you. Always a pleasure. Thanks. [ cheers and applause ] seth Anderson Cooper, everybody. Anderson cooper 360 airs weeknights on cnn. Well be right back with Gilbert Gottfried. [ cheers and applause ] [ more more more by dagny ] more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more liz assumed all dressingsrust were made equal. Assume nothing. Just like the leading brands, these kraft dressings are made with high Quality Ingredients, at a price you can feel good about. No wonder kraft is so good. [sfx click] [music imagination by andrew simple] hey whistle . Woo [sfx coin rattling] [sfx ice cream bells] with imagination, yeah yeah yeah with imagination sc johnson sfx tmobile mnemonic sfx netflix mnemonic sfx tmobile mnemonic sfx netflix mnemonic sfx tmobile mnemonic sfx netflix mnemonic tmobiles unlimited now includes netflix on us. Thats right, netflix on us. Get four unlimited lines for just forty bucks each. Taxes and fees included. And now, netflix included. So go ahead, binge on us. Another reason why tmobile is americas best unlimited network. [ mo more, more, more ny ] how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more how do you like it how do you like it how do you like it more, more, more in the mirror everyday. When i look when i look in the mirror everyday. Everyday, i think how fortunate i am. I think is today going to be the day, that we find a cure . I think how much i can do to help change peoples lives. I may not benefit from those breakthroughs, but im sure going to. Im bringing forward a treatment for alzheimers disease, yes, in my lifetime, i will make sure. She pretty much lives in her favorite princess dress. But once a week i let her play sheriff so i can wash it. I use tide to get out those week old stains and downy to get it fresh and soft. You are free to go. Tide and downy together. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is an actor and comedian who has one of the most recognizable voices in the world. Hes the host of Gilbert Gottfrieds amazing colossal podcast which is available on itunes. Hes also the subject of a new documentary entitled, gilbert, which opens exclusively in new york november 3rd and in select cities november 10th. Lets take a look. Now, i packed very neatly these shorts, tshirts. See, this is why i should clean out this thing. Is anybody talking about how notoriously cheap he is . Heres some Peanut Butter cookies that i obviously got for free somewhere. Hes the only guest that takes all the sodas, you know, from the dressing room. And at the end of the show, im going to take these with me. Seth please welcome back to the show, our friend Gilbert Gottfried, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Oh considering. [ laughter ] yeah. Seth good. Yes. Seth good. I want to ask about this doing this documentary. Yeah. Seth you had to talk about yourself a lot, on film. Yeah. I hated that. Seth but then you had to watch it. That was horrible. Seth the watching or the talking . Yeah. Every part of it. [ laughter ] i its this film maker, neil berkeley, came up to me. And he said, ive always wanted to do a Gilbert Gottfried documentary. And i said, well, you should set your dreams a lot higher than that. [ laughter ] seth but then he made this wonderful film. You one of the things we found out, i want to mention that clip real quick, you are a hoarder, it seems. Yeah, yeah, i could be on any one of those shows. Seth uhhuh. [ light laughter ] its like see, i think mainly anything i can get for free. If someone came up and i said ive got a carton of sanitary napkins or something, id go, okay, yeah. [ light laughter ] seth youd take that . Im sure i could find a use for those. [ laughter ] seth your children, your wife are in the film . Yes. Seth do your children think you are funny . My son, when he was in preschool, the teacher said, hes always he doesnt pay attention. And hes always trying to crack jokes. And i thought, yeah, im going to really beat him for this. Yeah. I dont know where he gets this from. And she said, where did you learn how to be funny . And he said, from my daddy. And she said, oh, your daddy is funny . And he goes, hes funny at home. Not at work. [ laughter ] seth he heckled you. Uh, yes. Seth he heckled you to a teacher. Yeah. And i had to respect anyone who doesnt admire me as a performer. [ laughter ] seth you talk about a couple of incidents where you have gotten in trouble for jokes that you did. One of them, i believe luckily, it stayed out of the press. Seth yeah. You have had and it stayed off the internet. [ laughter ] seth one was you told a 9 11 joke right after right after 9 11. At A Hugh Hefner roast. Yeah. It was it was like a couple of days after september 11th. People are booing and hissing. One guy yelled out, too soon which i thought meant i didnt take a long enough pause between the setup and the punch line. [ laughter ] and then i figure, why not go to the bottom level of hell. And i go in, i tell the aristocrats joke. [ audience ohs ] seth now this is funny. Because we are talking about one documentary, but the telling of the aristocrats joke led to a different documentary. Yeah. Seth about the history of the joke. Its called, the aristocrats oddly enough. Seth and that was thats sort of a filthy joke. Yeah. Seth and it sort of you won the room back. It showed like in situations like that. People need to laugh. They really want to laugh. In the documentary, theres a part where im doing a benefit at st. Judes hospital, which is by no stretch a funny place. Seth of course not. Its like a childrens hospital. And i went up i thought for sure, this would destroy what i had of a career. And people were it did great. cause people seth yeah. Desperately want to laugh. Seth and breaking tension is sort of the root of what it is that you do. I want to ask, because the emmys were just last night. Or two nights ago, i should say. You hosted the 91 emmys. Yes. Seth and they had to put you on a delay. Yes . Yeah. I think i think im the reason i think before that, they didnt have a delay with the emmys. And im pretty sure afterwards, because it was the year that peewee herman he was in a porn theater doing what people do in porn theaters. Seth yeah. He was playing with peewee. [ laughter ] and and so, i went on stage. And i said, i really sleep better at nights knowing peewee hermans been arrested. If masturbations a crime, i should be on death row. [ laughter ] and how did they know he was masturbating . Did they dust for prints . [ laughter ] and, you know, and right now and to think that by age 12 i was already al capone. [ laughter ] like, you could put a charcoal in my right hand and ill crush it into a diamond. [ laughter ] and i was never invited back to the emmys. Seth yeah. There you go. Their loss. I promise you, its their loss. [ laughter and applause ] we could have used it a couple nights ago. We all would have been very happy with that. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Seth congrats on the documentary. Always a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] Gilbert Gottfried, everybody. Gilbert opens in select cities november 10th. Well be right back with celeste ng. [ cheers and applause ] remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. 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Great savings. And a whole lot more. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is a New York Times bestselling author for her debut novel, everything i never told you. Her new book, Little Fires Everywhere, is available now wherever books are sold. Please welcome to the show author, celeste ng, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome to the show thank you so much for having me seth im so happy to have you. This book is fantastic. It takes place in Shaker Heights, ohio. Which is where youre from. Yes. Seth it takes place in the 90s. Why i want to start with why you chose to put it in the 90s. The first reason was that, it gave me a really good excuse to relive my teen years, which is not something that i ever thought i would actually say. Seth uhhuh. But the real reason is that i wanted to look at sort of, how far wed come and then how far we hadnt come from race, class, all of those issues. I remember living in Shaker Heights in the 90s, and the way that we talked about race was really to say, i dont see race. And now thats sort of a punch line, right . And so i wanted to look at the ways that we havent really gone as far as we think we have. Seth also, just reading it, i realized, oh, this is nice, that, in the 90s, like, the fact that anyone has a cell phone is mindblowing. And so teenagers communicate the way it sounds like you communicated as a teenager. Exactly. So it was before cell phones, before any kind of social media, before the internet was even really a thing. I needed the characters to have a little bit of space to have secrets. Because these characters have a lot of things theyre keeping from each other and trying to hide and leave behind parts of their past. And its a lot harder to do that now and i wanted them to have that space. Seth and so you put it in Shaker Heights and this is the town you grew up in. But im wondering if in the writing of the book, and the researching in the book, did you find out new things about where you were from . I did. I learned way more about the shakers, the religious community that used to own the land that became Shaker Heights than any reasonable person needs to know. Seth uhhuh. [ light laughter ] so anything you want to know about the shakers now i can talk about. Seth yeah, all the when you went to the library, all the shaker books were available, none were checked out . [ laughter ] they were. The Shaker HeightsPublic Library actually has a really great local history room, and this is where local history librarians do the job when nobody else can. She pointed me to old newspapers, all kinds of books about the shakers and everything. But i also learned that a lot of things that i thought were normal from growing up in Shaker Heights, were actually not normal at all. Both good and bad. Seth one thing you were talking about, theres a which i did not realize either. Theres a halloween tradition. And this is sort of does this come from the fact that the shakers were very regimented and organized . I think it does. Even though the shakers were never actually living in Shaker Heights, somehow that kind of rulefollowing nature sank into the ground, and has permeated the community now. So in Shaker Heights on halloween when its time to trick or treat, the city runs the sirens at the fire station at 6 00 to let you know that its time to start. And then they run the sirens again at 8 00 to tell you that its time to stop trick or treating. And i thought that everybody did that. Seth uhhuh. [ laughter ] and we didnt realize that wasnt true until a good girlfriend of mine who grew up in Shaker Heights lived near me and we both have little kids. And we were talking to our husbands who didnt grow up in Shaker Heights, and so we said, okay, so when do we when does trick or treating start . And our husbands looked at us and said, what do mean, when does it start . It starts when you put on the costume and you go outside and you ring a doorbell. [ light laughter ] and we said, well, when does it end . Like, when do you stop . And they said, what do you mean, when does it end . It ends when you come home and stop ringing door bells. [ light laughter ] and my girlfriend just looked at me and said, well, this is just chaos. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and now i just have to ask, is there for the rest of your life, your adult life, when you hear a fire engine, do you have a pavlovian candy . [ laughter ] a little bit. Seth yeah. I want to go and ring somebodys doorbell. Seth yeah. To the other guy, i hope your house isnt on fire, also, can i have a kit kat . [ laughter ] you were actually so youve been doing readings doing a book tour. And you were you rescheduled, thank you so much for rescheduling to be here, but you were going to read in Shaker Heights tonight. I was. I was supposed to read in my hometown where the book is set. So i hope that they forgive me. I hope this was a good enough reason. Seth yes. I think they will forgive you. But you also you know, you talk about the people in this town. Do you have any worries about that versus any other reading across the country that you do . A little bit, yeah. Im kind of nervous about that, just because its its a little bit writing like writing about a relative or like writing about your grandma. You know, you love them and you want everybody to see the good things about them, but you also know all their weird habits and their weird quirks and you want to kind of reveal those, too. Seth do you think its a good if im in a Shaker Heights book club, is this a good book for us . I think so. I think that the Shaker Heights population will have a lot of things to talk about. I hope they see themselves in the book, and they also sort of question, like, okay well, do we need to do that . Or is that just kind of how we seth and if theres a character that they dont like, i bet theyll see someone else in the book club as that character. Yeah. Seth yeah. I dont think theyll see its them. Seth yeah. But, like, its its my next door neighbor. Seth oh, yeah. Yeah. Seth thats definitely megan. [ laughter ] your parents were scientists. Yeah. Seth your dad worked at nasa . He was a physicist. Seth and what did they feel when that you have two scientists, when say you want to be a writer . I think they were really nervous, but i think they kind of knew it was coming, because i was an early reader and ever since i was a kid, i was the one who was, like, off in the corner, drawing little books and making up stories. And i used to write plays and would make my cousins perform them. And so i think they were nervous, because they just this was a world they didnt know. They didnt know how to do anything. And so when i told my mother that i was going to go and get a master of fine arts in creative writing, she said, okay. And then we got off the phone. And the next day she sent me an email where she said, okay, ive talked to my friend who is the chair of the English Department here at our university. She was the chair of the chemistry department. And she said, he assures me that a master of fine arts is a real degree. [ laughter ] and that it qualifies you to teach writing, which she wrote with a capital w. And artsy stuff. [ laughter ] and so she was like, okay, this is you know, i think youll be able to, you know, buy food and pay for your rent. Seth well, they were right. They were right on that account. And thank you so much for being here. Congratulations on the book. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] seth celeste ng, everybody her new book, Little Fires Everywhere is available now. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] nationwide is on your side. Whatd ya think . Were almost there. Um, on the jingle though, brad, i want to feel it right here. Hmmhmm. Like here, in the chest . No, no, your heart. Heart. In your heart. Hmmhmmhmmhmmhmmhmmhmm. Yes close. Close. Were almost there. Almost. I basically got it, right . Basically, almost. But youre doing great. What did i just get into . Hmm . Nothing. Over the course of 9 days. Steve chooses to walk 26. 2 miles, thats a marathon. And he does it with dr. Scholls. Only dr. Scholls has massaging gel insoles that provide allday comfort to keep him feeling more energized. Dr. Scholls. Born to move. Hungry eyes one look at you and i cant disguise ive got hungry eyes applebees 2 for 20. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. What would you do if you had even more time to explore . Open up the world with platinum. 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