Page 8 - C Block News Today

Punch a lawyer in the face. first a word from our sponsor. >> tonights c block is supported by the port of john travolta. you need the port-a-john travolta. thanks, the port-a-john travolta.

People didnt report, the only people that knew was those who had bad trips. he explained to a fair amount of people in new york who havent smoked pot that it can happen. i am tired of pro legalization and anti-people making them into big, fun things. >> eating is not fun. it it gets in your jet stream. i know where i am at when i eat it i discovered honey boo boo. that is the carest -- the scarest thing. >> we have a word from our sponsor. >> tonights c block is brought to you by william devay. ...

>> look at the guy that replaced done draper. bad bosses still exist. >> it was like 50 years ago. >> and he wore weird car -- cardigans. >> do you remember when justin beeper was younger and racist? >> tonights c block is brought to you by the perfect name for any occasion. got a gobbledork? tbet an amstashador for women.

A celebrity. i tour with jim gaffigan. they walk up to him and say it is jim gaffigan and they face the same direction so someone can take a selfie. >> bill murray doesnt like to do autographs. he likes to do these videos and these sort of -- they are perm touches. >> he is a free spirit. everybody thinks he is fantastic and i do too. okay, coming up, a man spends $50 on a heavily decaffeinated starbucks drink. making it the first time cocaine is a cheaper alternative. first a word from our spon...

A celebrity. i tour with jim gaffigan. they walk up to him and say it is jim gaffigan and they face the same direction so someone can take a selfie. >> bill murray doesnt like to do autographs. he likes to do these videos and these sort of -- they are perm touches. >> he is a free spirit. everybody thinks he is fantastic and i do too. okay, coming up, a man spends $50 on a heavily decaffeinated starbucks drink. making it the first time cocaine is a cheaper alternative. first a word from our spon...

Do rent a woman. >> they do that. >> but that is different. >> i think there was sex involved in that. >> 4* i guess rent a woman is just like taking her out to dinner. >> you said there is no sex or kissing. >> thats what they said. >> you have to separate the two. what are you in love? >> all right. coming up, chum schumer wants to ban something. >> tonights c block is brought to you by noytfish. what does it knew?

>> you truly aim for the stars, joanne. thats why we hired you. dying with a whore next to you and liquor in your hand. >> started at the top. >> yes, exactly. your parents must be proud. where did you learn those words? we did the story last year on "red eye." the referee got in a fight with the player and stabbed the player to death and then the other team cutoff the referees head and put it on the stake on the fence and everybody went home and left the head there. >> soccer sounds more exciti...

And they should like admit, they actually trip and fall and go to the emergency room. >> what? >> coming up, the c block. tonights c block is sponsored by pants, an item of clothing worn from the waist to ankles covering both legs separately. >> greg, you love being on the show but i love it even more when im on your floor. well, arent you saucy, pants? yes, you need to learn to eat pasta without dropping noodles. i think i need to retire. how awesome is this buzz? i want answers on my desk by t...

Throw a law book. here, i will throw one of these at you. i like the book and it is a nice picture, but that is a good way for you to meet chicks. >> that would have taken out a womans eye. >> can i have the book back? >> here is the thing. you have this black and white picture of you on the front and it makes you look mean and nasty. you write your name and number in there. you hand it to somebody at the book signing, and it would work out great. >> my wife is standing next to me. >> everyone i...

Friends. >> i am available. >> just like the thing on the previous story. friends are there to tell you to stop doing stupid things. >> i dont get it. >> kanye and kim. >> back to the barefoot beach wedding. the other thing i hate is the white linen. i am tired of the pictures of everybody in white linen. >> dont have it on the beach. have it indoors. >> some people like the beach. >> you are talking the banana republic look. >> what if one of your guests drowned or had a relative that had drown...