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COM The Colbert Report November 6, 2014

Story, last nights midterm elections. Huge night for the republicans across the country. They won everything its senate majority, the bigger house majority, tight governors races and a giraffe from one of those claw machines. laughter i mean, they were on fire. I dont know why democrats didnt turn out to vote yesterday. What with all the inspiring fundraising emails the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee sent out, like all hope is lost. laughter applause and sure, as a conservative it i...
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COM The Colbert Report November 5, 2014

Welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. Lovely to have you here cheers and applause stephen thank you so much thanks so much. Ive got to tell ya, ladies and gentlemen, its on these crisp, fall days that its good to warm yourself. Warm yourself by a roaring audience. cheers and applause folks, thanks so much for being here. Folks, youre here on a very special night because, tonight, were bringing you our live election show. Announcement that well be doing it tomorrow. laughter this is pr...
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COM The Colbert Report November 6, 2014

Welcome to the report audience chanting stephen thanks, folks weve got to do the show. Thanks so much, everybody thank you so much, folks thank you for joining us in here and out there for this an historic night, the 2014 Midterm Elections no election has ever been more midportant. So many questions have been answered, will the senate change hands . Will the g. O. P. Tighten its grip on the house . Did any one really vote . And its my last Election Night special. audience reacts as you know, im ...
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COM The Colbert Report November 8, 2014

Cheers and applause steve stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen steep every Stephen Stephen stephen thank you, here popes thank you. cheers and applause thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much, forecasts. Thanks for being here. Theres a lot to cover. Nation, if you watch this show and i hope you do you know that no one in this country is tougher on crime than yours truly. I say lock them up and throw away the key. Also, clearly, tough on keys. laughter so im happy to repor...
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FBC Forbes On FOX November 9, 2014

Im almost done. [ male announcer ] now you can pay your bill. Manage your appointments. [ dog barks ]. And check your connection status. Anytime, anywhere. [ dog growls ] oh. So youre protesting . Okay. [ male announcer ] introducing xfinity my account. Available on any device
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COM The Colbert Report November 7, 2014

He wrote a book. Which im pretty sure that he wrotewrote while he was supposo be working for me. laughter obviously he cant read or write so well. Its called no lands man. I mean he completely bleep the title. The phrase is nomansland. But he wrote no lands man which oh. I think hes clever. You should get it. Here it is, your moment of zen. Dallas is in london for the big game against jacksonville. Unfortunately, they used a bad social media hashtag. Hashtag cowboytioning sponsorey Comedy Centra...
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FOXNEWSW FOX And Friends November 7, 2014

Down in order to fit in. How did the naacp celebrate tim scotts historic win . It may look like your ticket to paradise, but this is really a cruise, the jihad in your next Family Vacation could be next to terrorists on their way to fight with isis. Friday mornings are better with friends. Good morning. Hi. This is dolly parton and youre watching fox friends. Thank you very much, dolly. Joining us from pigeon forge out this in tennessee. Good morning everybody. Good morning to you, ainsley and j...
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ALJAZAM News August 19, 2014

Protesters say they are the ones being mistreated. I have been harassed three times by the same officer. And thats what people get tired of. And hundreds of millions of dollars in damage . Detroits worst flood in 90 years. Hello, the iraqi army is fighting the Islamic State to retake tikrit. Its a sunni, dominated city where the Islamic State has now cemented itself with help of other sunni groups. The advance has been slowed on the outskirts of the city due to sniper fire and roadside bombs. Th...
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COM The Colbert Report October 8, 2014

Audience chanting Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen well come to the report thank you some for joining us cheers and applause thanks for being here cheers and applause we have a lot of work to do. A lot to get done. For those of you watching this show on a memory cube, thousands of years in the future, i want to ever you a hardy bleep blorp for joining us. laughter for those of you sharing the present chronosphere, its day seven of the Global Pandemic that some are call ebolapalooz...
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COM The Colbert Report October 7, 2014

Great tuesday night here in new york city. Ladies and gentlemen, i am samson and your cheering is my long hair thanks for being here nation, i am a huge fan of the game of footedball. Every sunday, i invite my bros over, grill up some brats, crack a couple of cold ones, forget to take the brats off the grill, burn down my house, apologize to my bros, and hold a vigil for lenny. laughter so naturally, im all over the huge controversy surrounding last nights game between the oh, shoot i can never ...
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