Colbert Dfa News Today

What was the real wrecking ball 2013 . Our n tonight a new breakthru in medicine, a pill that doesnt give you a boner. Then america is enveloped in record cold, luckily americans are enveloped in record fat. And my guest author ishmael beah was a child soldier, still better adjusted than a child actor. Happy birthday to north koreas kim jungun, please accept our gift of dennis rodman. No returns. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephe...

Stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in hot water. Okay, hold on, i just picture...

Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the report, good to have you with us. cheers and applause folks, i tell you, with a welcome like that, was that not a welcome . Thank you. Folks, with that kind of welcome it is almost as if you knows whats coming. Folks, huge news tonight. The president of the United States of new jersey chris christie, is in h...

On the George Washington bridge back in september. It was traffic on a biblical scale with new jersey highways backed up for days which is slightly longer than normal. laughter now it turns out, turns out, folks, that the lane closures were meant to make life hell as payback to the mayor of new jersey for not endorsing christie for reelection. No word yet on what the rest of new jersey is payback for. laughter nation, i, i will have full Team Coverage on this tomorrow by which i mean just me, of...

Tonight a new breakthru in medicine, a pill that doesnt give you a boner. Then america is enveloped in record cold, luckily americans are enveloped in record fat. And my guest author ishmael beah was a child soldier, still better adjusted than a child actor. Happy birthday to north koreas kim jungun, please accept our gift of dennis rodman. No returns. This is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen, stephen, stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen, stephen, Stephen Stephen,...

back in the fall, but whoses earning the interest on that hour in the meantime? the unions, thats who. how else does he get those lunch breaks. so as far as im concerned it is still 10:30 and im not just going to sit here and talk into this camera. im going to sit here and talk into this camera. (laughter) folks, tomorrow are the big gop primaries in alabama and mississippi. that is not just the deep south, that is dipped in batter and deep fad fried south. and everybody knows im a loy...

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) sz welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much. (cheers and applause) thank you very much. good to have you with us. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> not bad, thank you very much. (cheers and applause) >> folks, i got to till t is good to you have with us but it is not go...

thank you so much. (cheers and applause) thank you very much. good to have you with us. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> not bad, thank you very much. (cheers and applause) >> folks, i got to till t is good to you have with us but it is not good to be here. because as far as im concerned it is not show time. because i refuse to bow to the big government chrono-nazis and their daylight savings time. no washington bureaucrat tells me ...

time. because i refuse to bow to the big government chrono-nazis and their daylight savings time. no washington bureaucrat tells me how to a rust-- adjust the tilt of the earths axis. i tell you, folks, this is just barack obama stealing an hour of my life to redistribute it to poor people. (laughter) i know they say, they say, yeah-- (applause) they say-- yeah, i clap when im angry too. yes. (laughter) they say you get your hour back in the fall, but whoses earning the interest on tha...

captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) sz welcome to the report, everybody. thank you so much. (cheers and applause) thank you very much. good to have you with us. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> not bad, thank you very much. (cheers and applause) >> folks, i got to till t is good to you have with us but it is not go...