Page 44 - Comedy News Today

joe biden invited in, theyre here. i havent seen this many single men since they dug up kats backyard. biting him in the ass, like hes backed into a hungry brian steltzer. faith-based spaces for fans will shelter up to 19 single adult illegal aliens each, thats 50 times 19. what does that amount to, kat? >> just kidding! >> greg: im sorry. unnecessary, really. well have a meeting after. i think that is less than a thousand, last week over twice that many arrived in new york. any other ...

president with multiple crimes. and for the first time since this investigation began america heard directly from the man in charge, special counsel jack smith. >> today, and indictment was unseed. charging donald j trump with felony violations of our national security laws as well as participating in a conspiracy to obstruct justice. adherence to the rule of law is the bedrock principle of the department of justice in our nations commitment to the rule of law sits an example for the w...

tomorrow and then we are into the weekend, low—pressure loosening its grip and here comes high—pressure, very good news if you are hoping for some drier weather. not necessarily completely dry on saturday, some showers here and there, and fog patches towards the west which could be slow to clear so im not promising a completely sunny sky, but we should see some spells of sunshine and temperatures continuing to drop. sunday is likely to be cold steel especially if you get stuck unde...

>> the united states of america versus donald j trump. >> we have one set of laws in this country. and they apply to everyone. >> tonight, the stunning 49-page indictment. 37 criminal counts. secret national security documents. strewn around his country club, onstage in a ball room. on the floor in the bathroom. a conspiracy to hide them from the feds. the lies he told to cover it up. rachel maddow, lawrence odonnell, ari melber, joy-ann reid i, alex wagner, andrew weissmann, and jen p...

tons of smoke all landing here making it the worst thing from that country since seth rogen. but as the trees burn, another tree speaks out. john parry commemorated the 79th anniversary of d-day by comparing it to the fight against climate change. >> note to john. its okay to visit the statues at easter island. just dont turn into one. he claims the climate change bite requires the same level of innovation and mobilization required to fight the nazis. but todays threat comes from all o...

be departed. if he has to leave, he might not survive. im victor blackwell. lets start the show . what caused the civil war its not a trick question. any response that does not mention slavery is a wrong answer. and asking you rather what you want me to say about slavery, thats the wrong follow-up. this week republican presidential candidate nikki haley fumbled on all three points. it created a striking moment the at a campaign town hall new hampshire. watch this. >> i think the caus...

hello, america. im jimmy fallon, the king locke of late night. >> greg gutfeld is out. and thats a good thing becaus,e would totally trash this jacket from my overweight figure skater collection like, listen, folks, greg bashes my wardrobe a lot. but in my defense, unlike greg, i cant borrow clothes from peter dinklage. jimmy. >> anyway, we have a great show for you tonight with a. but before we get to them, it is friday. now, the normal tradition on gutfeld is that wed open with lefto...

♪ >> greg: run you little freak [cheers and applause] >> greg: happy wednesday everybody, oh, yeah. so the critics still want to yell at dave chappelle. the legendary comedian just released a new netflix special and you know what that means. once again, its time to get mad at jokes. true, critics in the media are bluer in the face than a choking smurf. you remember back in 2021 the usual suspects were outraged that chappelle dared to joke about transgender people in his act. trans pe...

♪ >> hello, america. i am jimmy fay locke, king of late-night and greg bashes my wardrobe a lot, but i am like greg, i cant broke legs from we have a great show for you tonight with a panel. it is friday, the tradition on gutfeld as we open with leftovers but seeing is its th last episode of 2023 the producers agreed to let me shar my final thoughts on the year i its okay with you. >> to be honest 2023 was a bit of a dumpster fire, but it did teach us a lot of things for instance, it...

♪ >> harrison ford has been over and over again named the biggest star in the world. >> harrison ford would be the quintessential leading man indiana jones, consolo. >> he loves to rescue people with his helicopter. >> charismatic. >> and icon. ♪ >> harrison ford might be the biggest movie star ever. he was on in the trash compactor, indian the snakepit, doctor richard kimble diving down the waterfall but if you think you know the leading man with a lopsided grin, think again. his ...