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And ive had my doubts in the past but i think this time shes serious. [ laughter ] President Trump spoke before the u. N. General assembly today. And i got to say, dude, whats going on with your face . [ laughter ] youre starting to look like the nailed it cake version of yourself [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats right President Trump spoke before the u. N. General assembly today. And to prove hes not a robot, he read a captcha. Lgbtq [ laughter and applause seth President Trump this morning deni...

I dont know if i can handle all this fame. I mean, i always thought id want to be famous, but now that i am, i dont know if i like it. I mean, i probably cant even walk through this mall right now without people going, oh, my god, its the fingerbang guy oh, my god yeah, thats gonna suck. Yeah, i just want to be a normal kid again, have a normal life, and appreciate what i have. I think you boys are very smart for your age. Come on, ill buy you all an orange smoothie. I dont think they sell those...

With my money and our time. Lemonis if i cant help them fix their process and their relationship. You guys picked this location. Chris yeah. Lemonis you guys did it. This board shop will have to board up its doors. My name is Marcus Lemonis, and i risk my own money to save struggling businesses. Were not gonna wake up every morning wondering if we have a job. Were gonna wake up every morning wondering how many jobs we have to do. Its not always pretty. Everythings gonna change everything. But i ...

[ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Thanks so much thank you. Please, please, have a seat. [ cheers and applause i love you i love you i appreciate it. Thank you very much. Sit down, relax. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Youre here and you made it. Im happy. [ cheers and applause you guys, my guest tonight is one of the alltime greats Sylvester Stallone is here [ cheers and applause backstage i asked him, can i get you something to drink water, soda . He was like, raw eggs. Ste...

Sort of technology that would damn it [ laughter ] while at the border, President Trump called the new fencing, quote, virtually impenetrable. But then again, he said the same thing after pushing on this for an hour. [ laughter ] theres no way through. [ light laughter ] canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is facing criticism after a photo from 2001 surfaced in which hes wearing brownface. Im not going to show you the picture because its really bad. Its so bad, that canadians traveling in eur...

John bolton, so i was wrong. He could find someone more dangerous than john bolton [ light laughter ] President Trump announced today that he will consider banning the sale of all nontobacco flavored vaping products, which is a shame, because vaping was the only way most American Kids would ever find out what fruit tastes like that [ laughter ] [ applause ] thats a peach . [ laughter ] the third democratic primary debate is tomorrow night and im going to be gaffe free this time, said joe biden, ...

Has never heard of a category 5 hurricane before, despite puerto rico being hit with one in 2017 said trump, well, ive also never heard of puerto rico [ laughter ] so President Trump faced International Criticism this weekend after he was seen playing golf instead of staying in the office to monitor the progress of Hurricane Dorian though, honestly, would that be better [ light laughter ] making trump monitor the hurricane would be like making your 4yearold do the dishes. After about five minute...

Many are calling the statement shocking, while fox news is calling it an audition [ laughter ] despite claiming at a rally this week, that nobody loves hispanics more than him, a new poll shows that trumps Approval Rating among hispanics is just 25 though its not the first time trumps been part of a oneway relationship [ laughter ] the news service, reuters, has released a photo of President Trump boarding air force one with cash sticking out of his back pocket. And youll never believe whose poc...

[ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh my goodness look at these guys wow thank you. Welcome, please have a seat. [ cheers and applause welcome. Thank you very, very much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. You made it. Thank you very much. [ cheers and applause very exciting show tonight Kendall Jenner is here tonight oh my goodness [ cheers and applause desus mero are here tonight. Tanya tucker is here tonight with Brandi Carlile. [ cheers and app...

Shot of early weather projections to justify the move. And i mean really early projections. [ laughter and applause amid reports of Hurricane Dorian new articles have been published on femas unofficial waffle house index for measuring storm severity, which tracks whether Waffle House Restaurants in particular areas are fully open, serving a limited menu or completely closed. [ laughter ] and from what i know of waffle houses, if theyre closed, run [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause a former Trum...