Page 4 - Everything Greg News Today

Commercial break. [laughter] congrats, buddy. >> trademark science. >> greg: that is not science. it is satanism. >> i was thinking with this deepfake thing, what if you sitting in front of me, what if you yourself are a deepfake? what if you were actually jimmy kimmel wanting to be on the number one show in late-night television? i thought that joke was going to do better. >> greg: i knew you were, you were going with it. i like the. i like the spiteful dave rubin better. >> i like miami dave. ...

Back inside and you saw more depression. they were not outside getting vitamin e. and when you are home watching 24 hours of anything whether it is "the bachelor" or the greatest cable news station in the world, fox news —-dash. >> i was lucky. i just walked out and be outside every day. >> greg: fake celebrity faces in the unlikeliest of places. [cheers and applause] g our netw. ♪ ♪ ♪ fast. reliable. perfectly orchestrated. the united states postal service. i think i changed my mind abo...

Sometimes they are even shaped like pies so that people can understand them. [laughter] >> [indistinct] would say. >> greg: everyone who laughed at that joke has to win. theres lots going on so let me simplify it for you. the light at the top, those are female liberals. their depression levels have gone up faster than the price of hamburger after joe biden. they are the most depressed. underneath them, male liberals, which makes sense. they are never on top of anything. [laughter] yeah, you know...

We will make them run less. that will bring them in. that will bring in a whole tide of police officers who dont want to move. it is going to go really well. stop. stop. [laughter] next case. they just dont get it. you cant undo what you have done without doing actual work. >> greg: you know what is funny? >> they are not going to do it. [cheers and applause] >> greg: i love it when they clap in advance of what im about to say. >> definitely in advance. >> greg: you guys. we are accelerating the...

[applause] dave, how old are your kids now? >> six months and four months. they are not depressed yet. >> greg: no they are not. very liberal parents, i watched family ties where i get a lot of my stuff. if you are a liberal, then your kids end up being a conse conservative. what happens -- are you worried you might be depressed? >> i grew up watching "the jeffersons." where would that put me? >> greg: you are moving to chicago in the east side. the apartment in the sky. >> i think maybe it has ...

You are always distrustful and that is not a bad perspective to have. the media is already less trusted than andrew cuomo at a nursing home and have been forcing deepfakes on us for decades. the pee tape with truck, russiagate, the popularity of maroon five. the food pyramid. biden running for it in. alan gin was being friendly. steve doocys thigh curled record. all lies. maybe we should not believe our eyes and years anymore or at all. here are some deepfakes that i can tell are real or fake. >...

I come here and it smells like weed everywhere. i come to. >> and my date with the weed, everyone was giggling and laughing. but everyone seems depressed. >> greg: i dont necessarily see a correlation there, but i will admit it is definitely not like the weed of the same bees. alter is superpowerful and it does mess with your brain. i dont know because im on it right now. >> it is not like you smoke a ton of wheat with hilmar a couple days ago and everyone saw that. [applause] >> greg: that was ...

Proud to finally be on "gutfeld!" second of all, did you see kids six months old and four months old? that is the definition. [laughter] how did that happen? >> science, my friend. >> oh, the tube maybe. >> my wife is puerto rican. i thought, that is a very puerto rican thing i got three little latino kids. dude, you know what? now we both -- [...]. just me. just me. just me. so what was the question, greg? >> greg: i dont know. >> we are all doing our own bids. >> greg: is just one side of that...

Liberals incentivize misery. the worst you feel and the more you express it the better you do in the circles as matt points out. the left loves misery and part of their kink is sharing it with young people. they have promises of attention and street credit. here is their mating card. >> the corporations chosen! that is not right! that is not fair! >> when liberals push the idea that social injustice exists everywhere and everyone is out to get you, of course you are going to be depressed. on the...

Greg Gutfeld examines the news of the day through a satiric lens fused with pop culture.