Page 2 - Everything Greg News Today

Me think of, whenever i see the gangs when they are arrested or the gangs that are shoplifting, they are in great shape. they are all skinny. and i cant believe it is because they are constantly out in the gym. so you got to get -- you got to work hard to get fat. >> all reached out and not going to commit a crime in that area. you wont give them weapons because it is just bats and muscles. no one dies, but everybody gets hurt. >> greg: what do you make of that? >> greg, leave this dystopian dum...

>> yeah, yeah. >> yeah. that was really that was really fun to explain to my 70-year-old aunt. that no, that girl has [bleep] that was not me doing that. so that is disturbing. it is like deeply disturbing. when it comes to the ones and look, as it would is going to stop watching and go google [bleep]. [laughter] we have that problem with real videos, though, already. like people would just take it a segment of something you said and this has happened to me countless times as to you and other pe...

A democrat you are not racist. according to the head of the police training removing the cardio standard will help more women pass the test. apparently women are slow. unless sacks has a sale on handbags, don lemon would say. [laughter] [applause] yeah. [cheers and applause] he is actually freelancing for the show. he wrote that. thank you, don. we will have a nice dinner. that is a call back. all right. i dont blame women for wanting to be cops at all. it is the only way for women in new york t...

>> i think she is upset she has not been deepfake into all of these pictures. >> oh, no. being deepfake is extremely disturbing. >> h e-learner is upset that someone took pictures of her in a cheerleader costume? >> greg: that is pretty much it. she was an hr. >> oh. so she is just upset she is not a cheerleader. that is what is going on here. >> my real butt is not on the internet. >> greg: lets move on from here, deepfakes. chris, i mean. >> i agree with what tyrus said. i never thought you wo...

You are paranoid? >> i just dont want to go into that universe with mark zuckerberg because he seems like he is a humanoid robot in our world now and we are going to follow him? i dont know. i have seen "the matrix." it aint good, man. >> greg: it is not good without the mushrooms either. chris, are you afraid that your line of work, comedians, have you ever seen a i try to write a joke? >> i have tried to see a.i. write a joke. if you watch my lasts special, that is what it was. it is kind of l...

About it. no shred of evidence at all. it is a labeled file for a reason. do not look, stay back and they had three guys in shoulder pads keeping everyone from the file. it was there for april to the seam and it was labeled that it would have mature material in it. so tired of talking about people who make these accusations for attention just because you cannot do the job well. >> greg: it would be great if on the book they said, definitely no ass and breasts. >> then you would have an argument....

$2,000 and lo and behold, their car got repelled and they were so mad. stupid people, metaverse. not stop stupid people. >> greg: that would be cool to negotiate with a.i. >> it is people coming in predetermined stuff. >> have you ever bought a car? >> sort of. [laughter] >> greg: i said bart, did not steal. >> greg: no, i did not steal. it is a long story. >> greg: we got all night. >> i made some car payments and then i could not anymore. [laughter] i would have. i could not. no. [laughter] >>...

>> if any of these last vagaries got me, i dont know if anything really got me. >> greg: i love when people send me one and i get to tell them it is fake. you, i saw it it is vague. they go, really? jesse falls for so much stuff. they need to check his computer to see what he looks at. all right. >> i think we should go to the commercial. >> greg: yes. up next, should the nfl get sacked for clips of women who are stacked? [cheers and applause] for as little as $5.00 a day, you can own your very ...

Why everyone is depressed. greta sundberg was asked to leave a chucky cheese. that is not a true story because it mattered. it is not a chicken or egg question. it is a learned behavior. once your grome it gets a spotlight, you turn it up to 11. they are told the world sucks, theres no way to win and then you get rewarded for embracing victimhood. that is how you get jesses millett. if you want to find out what happened, it is not in rallies or protests. it is at football games, halloween partie...

>> jesse watters here. my outward appearance of confidence is a fraud. im scared and not have to man greg is. that is why i hide behind hair transplants and pans that are too tight. many helps, though. that is why im planning a ponzi scheme. >> greg: do we have one more? >> it is dana. the truth is i hate dogs. i have always been more of a cat person. i once robbed a casino when i was 16 and i would do it again in a heartbeat. you know your girl has to get money. dollar bills, yall. dollar, doll...