Page 12 - Exploding Unicorn News Today

4: But that part was fun.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2020 My dearest children: You are the reason I wake up every morning. The reason I breathe. And most importantly, the reason we cant have nice things.— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) May 25, 2020 I set my kids up with mugs of hot chocolate over a white carpet so I, too, like to live dangerously.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) February 23, 2020 A heads up that if youre toddler comes into the...

4: But that part was fun.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2020 My dearest children: You are the reason I wake up every morning. The reason I breathe. And most importantly, the reason we cant have nice things.— Unremarkable Files (@ThatEvansLady) May 25, 2020 I set my kids up with mugs of hot chocolate over a white carpet so I, too, like to live dangerously.— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) February 23, 2020 A heads up that if youre toddler comes into the...

Having children changes everything ― mealtimes, holidays, romance and more. One particularly comical effect of parenthood is its impact on your exercise routine. The funny parents of Twitter seem to think so anyway. They’ve shared some hilarious musings about working out after kids, from child-induced cardio to cleaning up toys as strength training. We’ve rounded up 40 tweets that sum up fitness for parents. Enjoy! My daily workout is walking through the house 14 times a day turning off a...

7-year-old: I dont want mashed potatoes. Me: Theyre just like French fries. 7: Then give me French fries. Theres a flaw in her logic, but I cant find it.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2020 My 8yo woke up this morning and said “Artichokes are rude!”, and honestly he is probably right.— Katie Didnt (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 16, 2020 Me: “If you’re done with the game, you need to put the pieces away.” 4yo: I WAS done, but if I have to clean it the...

Created with Sketch. Parents tell their fair share of white lies, but kids have a special flair for stretching the truth. From implausible excuses for messes to fully fabricated stories, the creativity of children’s lies is often impressive. That’s the impression we get from the hilarious parents of Twitter anyway. We’ve rounded up 25 funny tweets about the lies kids tell. Enjoy! My 8yo just tried to convince me that theres sugar all over his mouth because he tripped and landed on a donu...

That moment when none of your messages on Kik, iMessage, etc. go through and youre in a long distance relationship. pic.twitter.com/0nV9Q7gGat— Amber ღ (@Amberleigh3_) January 31, 2017 Having to scratch my own back is probably the worst part about being in a long distance relationship.— Kelso (@LemonsMcCoy) April 20, 2018 we need to normalize long distance relationships n meeting people online because not everyone has that perfect little relationship where you can drive 5 minutes to your ...

Created with Sketch. Having children changes everything ― mealtimes, vacations, romance and more. One particularly comical effect of parenthood is its impact on your exercise regimen. The funny parents of Twitter seem to think so anyway. They’ve shared some hilarious musings about working out after kids, from child-induced cardio to cleaning up toys as strength training. We’ve rounded up 40 tweets that sum up fitness for parents. Enjoy! My daily workout is walking through the house 14 tim...

Created with Sketch. We’ve made a lot of advancements as a society when it comes to the way foods are packaged. But there’s certainly still room for improvement. The funny folks of Twitter seem to think so, anyway. From needless spills to wasteful materials, there are a number of food container problems to poke fun at. We’ve rounded up 24 funny and relatable tweets about food packaging issues. Can someone fix bacon packaging this has gone on long enough— Mary H.K. Choi *please pre-or...

Alexa: OMG WHAT NOW— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 1, 2019 Alexa, homeschool my kids today— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) September 18, 2020 My 9yo figured out how to use "Hey Google" voice commands on his computer so long story short in about five minutes hes gonna need a new computer.— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 10, 2020 My kid just tried to argue with Siri, and it reminded me of nearly every comment thread in 2020.— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) Nov...

Created with Sketch. Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! By the age of 3, the average toddler has taken exactly 2 bites out of 372 bananas.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 29, 2020 Shout out to all the dads who got chore lists cleverly disguised as Home Depot gift ca...