Page 11 - Exploding Unicorn News Today

"Well, so much for going into the ocean now that my kid realised fish pee in it." By  21/04/2021 06:00am BST As kids grow up, they become aware of many things in life ― from the sources of the food they eat to the many uses for different types of technology. Over the years, the funny parents of Twitter have shared silly and serious things their kids have discovered about everyday life. Below, we’ve rounded up 37 tweets about kids’ hilarious and horrifying realisations. Ive seen plenty...

"I need an alarm clock that doesnt wake me up at 5 a.m. asking for Cheerios." By  04/21/2021 02:52pm EDT If you’re a parent of an early riser — like, the kind of mom or dad who sees it as a major victory if your child manages to sleep until 6 a.m. — your days are long. Like, by the time 10 a.m. rolls around, you’ve already had a DAY. Thankfully, you’re not alone. We rounded up 29 funny tweets from fellow parents of early risers to help take a bit of the pain away — and to enjoy ove...

"Well, so much for going into the ocean now that my kid realized fish pee in it." By  04/19/2021 12:35pm EDT As kids grow up, they become aware of many things in life ― from the sources of the food they eat to the many uses for different types of technology. Over the years, the funny parents of Twitter have shared silly and serious things their kids have discovered about everyday life. Below, we’ve rounded up 37 tweets about kids’ hilarious and horrifying realizations. Ive seen plenty...

Created with Sketch. People say life is too short for grudges, but kids manage to hold some pretty major ones despite their relatively few years of experience. And, it seems, they learn from their parents. Twitter is full of funny anecdotes about children’s grudges against their parents, as well as parents’ grudges against their children or anyone who dares to wrong them. After all, people may forgive a burnt meal or broken toy, but that doesn’t mean they forget. Keep scrolling for 35 fu...

Well, all the new colors of Play-Doh we just opened lasted about an hour before becoming one giant ball of brownish-grey.— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 10, 2020 My toddler doesnt have money to buy me gifts, so she finds/makes shitty gifts like rocks, leaves, weeds, boogers, duplo lego things, but my all time fave is the play-doh mold she made of her butt. I love all these shitty gifts and they all make me cry.— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 13, 2019 On the phone with my crying...

Created with Sketch. Kids often show a creative approach to the English language. From their malapropisms to their creative descriptors for everyday objects, children’s turns of phrase are adorable, comical and arguably at times superior to the dictionary-official terms. Fortunately, parents often tweet about the names their kids come up with for different things, so we can all enjoy the originality. We’ve rounded up 45 funny tweets about what kids call things. My oldest just called the Bi...

Created with Sketch. Kids tend to have selective hearing when it comes to requests from their parents. Naturally, that leads to a lot of repetition. The hilarious parents of Twitter have shared truly relatable tweets lamenting the surprising number of times they say things like, “Don’t lick the door!” and “With soap!” Below, we’ve rounded up 50 too-real tweets about the things parents repeat. Enjoy! If you’re on the fence about having kids, repeat “Put your shoes on, please” ...

The only thing that upsets my daughter more than messing up on a drawing is me suggesting she use a pencil instead of marker.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 16, 2017 5-year-old: What do you want for Mother’s Day? Wife: For you to be nice to your sisters all day. 5: 5: I drew you a horse.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 8, 2016 Last night, my oldest drew a picture of a sun with a sad face. I asked him why the sun was sad and he said, "Because the moon wa...

Created with Sketch. Sure, parenthood involves lots of love, laughter and joy. But it also involves tantrums, white lies, strange Google searches and perhaps most importantly, hiding. The funny moms and dads of Twitter have long tweeted about their “alone time” hiding in closets, bathrooms, cars and beyond to get a break from the chaos of kids. Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, the need has only increased. If you’re looking for some hiding spot inspiration, keep scrolling for 45 funny tweets f...

Parenting is an exhausting and very rewarding endeavour. It is also hilarious.