Page 19 - Funny Stuff News Today

That there is that for you this morning. a little funny stuff for you. dire warning about americas economy. that is what well be talking about coming up. credit agencies are now saying, gee the sequester was good in terms of cutting but they want more or else theyre threatening to downgrade the united states credit. were going to talk about that. bill: also a moving train going head-to-head with this truck. more of that in a moment and how the driver of that truck turned out. martha: wow!. plus ...

Skies ♪ ♪ for amber waves of grain ♪ ♪ for purple mountains majesty above the fruited plain ♪ ♪ america america ♪ ♪ god shed his grace on thee ♪ ♪ and crown thy good with brotherhood ♪ >> he has a decent singing voice. >> screen play here. who do you have? >> i have this from hillary. folks have written funny stuff, texts she might be sending to other people. i think that was the best original screen play of the year. >> how about you? >> best original screen play

He can never get on the show. >> brian: hes down to 11:30. that was extremely creative. robin williams is also one of the stars that ended up closing the show. >> steve: you said during the course of the program, jimmy kimmel never said one word on his entire program. >> brian: because he was gagged. bound and gagged. working the cue cards was i think ben affleck. >> steve: funny stuff. meanwhile, onto the number one topic on a lot of peoples frozen lips today, the freezing cold. these frigid te...

>> steve: funny stuff. we are here in the final day of the dna. we know that the president has in his corner eva longoria and natly portman and you know cloony is walking around here with matthew. >> steve: you know who is in mitt romneys club. we are talking about condoleezza rice james baker and henry kissinger who was secretary for both president ford and nixon as well they are in the washington times if america is strong around the world and be a leader, you need a strong economy and make mo...

Mitt romney taking a shot at a time honored campaign tradition, called airplane bowling. he launched an orange down the aisle to the cheers of the press as senator marco rubio gave the fruit a roll as did attorney general, pam bondy. >> steve: funny stuff. today mr. romney will be in the critical battle ground swing state of ohio. thats where steve brown is standing by with a preview of coming attractions. good morning to you. >> good morning, steve. as you can see, the front end loader over my ...

>> 6. >> 6 years old. >> its perfect. we had big battles, monkeys or the beatles. obviously the monkeys were a better band. a lot more musical talent, a lot more staying party. >> better dressers. >> the monkeys? what? >> im kidding. no, but its funny when youre in second grade, first grade, these were real debates we were having. on the way to school. >> and the editing director of "fortune" magazine -- >> you look at the videotape and well go to this. look at "daydream believer" video. theres ...

My next guest is the ultimate working mom. you know samantha b. from the "daily show" with john stewart. shes also the author of "i know i am, but what you?" >> thank you for having me. >> you have three kids the age 5 and under. >> yes, i do. >> where do you mine for comedy gold? >> the best material does come from -- i laugh the hardest at my children. theres a lot of funny stuff going on, but the funniest stuff is the most pleasing that goes on at home. >> three under 5 is crazy. i have three...

>> joe biden with a sympathetic grin. did it sound quiet in the room? >> ive never, ever had somebody say what we need in this country is high speed rail. ive never heard that. the president is trying to be cute and lighten it up a little bit. i saw a funny tweet. well have smoked salmon on a high speed train and thats going to be serviced by some illegal immigrants that are highly educated. it was just -- you know, the presidents got to lighten it up a little bit but at the end of the day, the ...

With great funny stuff by derwood. thank you, great to have you here. >> thank you. >> coming up he jokes about his weight, but serious about-- star and executive producer about h.b.o. hit "curb your enthusiasm", but first ill take questions by the audience. if you had pinched the commercial what would you pitch at? >>

With great funny stuff by derwood. thank you, great to have you here. >> thank you. >> coming up he jokes about his weight, but serious about-- star and executive producer about h.b.o. hit "curb your enthusiasm", but first ill take questions by the audience. if you had pinched the commercial what would you pitch at? >> well be right back, stay tuned. [ drumroll ]