Page 2 - Humor Bits News Today

Nobody wants to be murdered, but some folks would probably choose being smothered to death by 38DD breasts if they have a choice. Thats the allegation against a woman who allegedly tried to kill her ex, a lawyer, that way in Germany. They were having sex and she allegedly shoved his face in there and he had to break free and run. Nice that they included a file photo of breasts to be helpful. (Metro)

Is it even possible to pick two more difficult foes than this atheist group is taking on in Tennessee: prayer before football games and University of Tennessee football? The group is suing to end the practice of a nonsectarian prayer before Vols games, and you know all the arguments. The thing is, theyre right -- the Constitution and case law say that a state agency like the university cant promote religion with a sanctioned formal prayer, even if its nominally "nonsectarian," ...

You can fly from Canada to the U.S. You cant drive across in that direction. It makes no sense, yet here we are, and a lot of Canadians want to know why when were heading into snowbird season. It will affect places like Florida that have a lot of snowbirds, and its causing Canadians who usually drive their RVs to Florida at about this time of year to have to have the RVs shipped down and meet them down south instead of simply driving across the border. Somewhere, a bureaucrat is trying to ...

Its Fat Bear Week, which is about actual bears feeding in Alaska, filling Katmai National Park and Preserve with, yes, fat bears. If you were thinking "Fat Bear" referred to something else, youre not alone, but its not about that. (CNN)

A traffic light pole snapped at its base in Japan, and like another sudden collapse of a pole in a fatal accident a few years back, the culprit appears to be dog pee, and, no, thats not a joke. The pee weakened the steel at the poles base. When youre walking your own dogs, maybe steer them to a tree or hydrant instead of a light pole. (WTVJ/Miami)

You know, they dont really say what the students dont like that sent them into a protest over a Hawaii high schools dress code -- looks like its tougher on girls than boys, but they dont specify whats been banned -- but I wonder if ANY dress code can be enforced anymore. After a year of people wearing pajamas to work, whats the point? Should we just say, look, dont go naked, but wear what you want? (KITV/Honolulu)

A rollercoaster in Japan has been closed while the operators try to figure out why people riding it are suffering broken backs. Perhaps the design is flawed. Ideally, people dont break ANY bones on a rollercoaster. Oh, and again, this is yet another reason to skip thrill rides. (CNN)

Out at the Outer Banks in North Carolina, people are finding loaded guns left behind in their vacation rentals and hotel rooms, and...how careless can people be? Gun owners pride themselves on being responsible, but apparently not all of them are. (WRAL-TV/Raleigh-Durham)

The unexplained thing about this story of a 16-year-old whos made over a million reselling game consoles and other items in the pandemic is how he really got his start. Well, they do mention that he started by attempting to buy and resell toys from China, and that he used his moms debit card and had to pay her back from his savings. But you cant just buy thousands of dollars worth of PS5s to resell without having the money to do so, and hes from a not-at-all-impoverished town in...

I know weve talked about the rental car shortage already, but its still going on and this column has some alternatives in case you need to rent a car and you dont want to pay exorbitant rental prices. Because you dont. One option is car sharing, where you use an app and rent some private citizens car, and thats a topic itself, whether youd let someone rent your car while youre not using it. Or you can rent a U-Haul cheaper than a regular car, which I know has been big in Hawaii ...