Page 3 - Humor Bits News Today

Its something you may never notice, but one guy, a Burger King customer in Houston, did and alerted a local TV news department, which ran this piece on how, when you order a meal at some fast food places, they do a subtle upsell: theyll ask you if you want a medium or large soda, and not a small. Thats not a lot of money, but it IS an upsell that they try to sneak by you. Bet you listen for that next time you go to a fast food joint and order the value meal. (KPRC-TV/Houston)

An elderly woman in Spain died, and her body was apparently eaten by her cats, and Im not going to joke around here -- this is really sad and tragic, not funny. Loneliness is a problem for all ages, but especially for the elderly, and while you might think this could never happen to you, well, it could. You could find yourself alone, no family checking in on you, and instead of laughing about cats eating her, maybe check in on someone you know who lives alone once in a while. (This woman was ...

Okay, so the CFLs Edmonton... er, EE Football Team, the team formerly known by a name for indigenous people that was unfortunate, has done what the NFL team in Washington hasnt been able to accomplish quite yet and has chosen a new name, the Edmonton Elks. One thing to note: "Elks" is not the proper plural for "Elk." The plural of "Elk" is "Elk." But, as a linguist noted to CTV, pluralizing what amounts to a proper name means adding that "s" ...

Hate to harp on this, but the homeless problem is getting worse and it seems like any attempts to help the problem arent working fast or widespread enough. In this case, Venice, CA, by the ocean in L.A., is so overrun by homeless encampments that we have this grandmother lamenting that its too unsafe for her grandchildren to visit her. The lone local shelters full. Politicians say things will be done but theyre not. And if you think, well, thats Californias problem, its your problem, ...

Defectors Kelsey McKinney went ot a Washington Nationals game for the first time since the pandemic started and she discovered something had changed: the condiment island, where the traditional dispensers were replaced by one touchless thing that dumps a glob of ketchup or mustard on your hot dog... and no relish, mayo, or chopped raw onions. I guess the robots cant do those. But its a huge change and I wonder what else youll notice as we all emerge from hibernation -- just this past ...

This Washington Post writer tested out some stress relief gadgets, most of which involve some vibrating object. (No, not that kind of stress relief. You put these on your head, usually.) They didnt really work for her, but some people report that they help. Sort of. How do you relieve YOUR stress? (Washington Post)

Its only a test and it has caveats out the wazoo, but Disneyland is testing virtual queues for the Indiana Jones ride, involving an app and signing up and getting a notification when your groups turn comes around. Theyre going to turn it on and off during the day as crowds warrant. I think ALL things with long queues -- theme park rides, the DMV, anything -- should allow you to sign up via an app and go do something else while you wait your turn. We have the technology; we shoul...

According to the Wall Street Journal/Realtor.com index, the hottest housing market in the U.S. right now is... wait, take a guess. New York, L.A., San Francisco? Nope. Some beachy area? Nah. Austin? Good guess, but second place. The winner: Coeur dAlene, Idaho. Really? Yeah, CDA has limited inventory and a lot of people wanting to live in a lakeside, less congested city. Small town vibes, and a chance to escape the big city grind. Also, a really conservative area, so the anti-lockdown, ...

Its possible to feel bad for someone who was scammed out of $140,000 and marvel that he fell for the scam itself. The scam in question involved his getting a letter postmarked from Portugal with a questionable-looking proclamation that he had won the lottery there (oddly, with the same logo in English as the Mega Millions here) and instructions that led to sending cash upfront for "tax money." There are sophisticated scams that are hard to tell from the truth until its too late, ...

Perry Michael Simon is Vice President and Editor/News-Talk-Sports/Podcast for AllAccess.com and the former Program Director and Operations Manager at stations like KLSX and KLYY (Y107)/Los Angeles and WKXW (New Jersey 101.5)/Trenton. Hes been on-air and written stuff for TV and websites and other stuff he doesnt remember all that well. He can also be found at Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and pmsimon.com, if youre so inclined. In addition, hes the former Editor-in-Chief at Nerdist.com and Di...