Lizard Guy News Today

lots of guys in suits looking at me, eyeballing me. you know what that means. an entire a-block on harry potter. mike said do it or he would walk. who knew pompeo was a harry pothead? i heard him over there talking about his hogwarts. next month there is a new game coming out called "hogwarts legacy." for all you nondorks, dweebs, nerds, and men who have never touched a woman who wasnt a relative, the game is set in the world of harry potter, and it seems like fun, but according to the...

It.youve both thrown f-bombs. >> greg: someone does it another person has to do it, and all of the sudden everyone is swearing. i dont know. >> theres a couple in the book. those will be mine. >> he is totally a swearer. he is on good behavior. >> they [bleep] it out, so let it fly, mike. >> sounds good. >> greg: have you ever seen a money? they dont even have them in museums anywhere. >> ive been going to a lot of museums. its a dry january. [laughter] ive never been to so many museums in my li...

>> greg: that was cute! no defense come even if you are as boring as mike pence? i like him, too pay lights and outcome of people. he informed congress he discovered classified documents from his time as vp in his indiana home earlier this month. which means his wife has also seen them, because there always in the same room. >> i liked that joke. >> thank you! my goodness, what is with you people? they dont remember? >> i thought it was the worst thing is has husband i ever heard in my entire li...

Greg Gutfeld examines the news of the day through a satiric lens fused with pop culture.

Realizes thats actually an insult. wow, you are so repulsive that i feel better about being just regular ugly. so who is he kidding? he has no friends, or they would have stopped this madness years ago. in the meantime, he says hes happy here on earth, especially since no other planet will take him. you are saying to me on the break, kat, you probably wouldnt date him. >> no. >> greg: you wouldnt date him at all. >> i wouldnt. >> greg: why, are you racist? is it because hes black? >> no, i would...

Uncover. >> greg: im excited. im very excited. its going to be a fun document spring. its going to be a spring of documents. i dont know, i dont care -- even if they dont find anything, they put everybody through the wringer for the trump stuff, so they deserve it. i am a petty person. >> you are right. i dont normally support his pettiness, but in this situation i do. its a regular guy accidentally, in his folder, had a classified document, he would go to jail. >> special counsels all around. >...

Everyone is doing? >> ozempic. >> if i could do a short cut, sign me up. >> greg: i would do ozempic. but diabetics cant get the drug because everyone in hollywood is pumping it. >> its a needle. so youre not popping it. >> greg: its a needle? i dont read the stories. >> you asked a question about north korea? >> no, go for the weight loss thing. i know the answer to that one. [laughter] >> greg: it turned out pretty cool. i was going, this is crazy, and then it works out. how were you when it h...

Im getting paperback, hardcover. if there is audio, im in it. the video game didnt look my speed. downloaded it today on my xbox. so i am all in, 1000%. why? dont really care for the folks books, but she was being a normal adult women defending herself and defending feminism and being successful, thats not a crime. they try to invent these crimes to take us down. the kids are going to keep buying the book. none of them are buying the book. like, thats the thing. they are not -- woke go broke. ho...

Obvious? >> hes french. >> i know. long story. i would say, they say not to judge a book by its cover. i would say judge all you want when it comes to this guy. if i was working at a restaurant and he walked in, i would hide under the counter. so i dont blame people for wanting to run away from him. but i will say once again, i think he has a nice body. >> greg: you know what? that is the silver lining that isnt tattooed into his body. it will be. when i look at this, i go, this is a person who ...

Ground. last year someone asked her how she sleeps at night knowing she has lost an audience. she replied, "i read my most recent royalty checks." if only jesse watters could say the same about his book. [laughter] anyway, this video game is going to sell millions, of course, but the reason we are talking about it is this fake boycott [bleep]. not only has she not done anything wrong, shes nothing compared to those who have done real wrong. yet still legions of support. how about michael jackson...