The mighty start falling . Were talking about apple and the biggest selloff in years. Good morning, everyone. 35 billion wiped off apples value in one day. Two reasons, the iphone slips in china, got it, but investors are taking their profit now because they dont want to pay the president s higher stock profit tax next year, big deal. The president has now drawn two lines in the sand. No to a debt ceiling, he wants a blank check and hes not backing off and yes on tax rate hikes, no compromise from the white house. Wait until you hear the latest from ed asner. He voiced the Teacher Union cartoon where the rich urinate on the poor. Who does he want to urinate on now . Watch out, everybody, Varney Company about to begin. Ride. She knows the potential for makingr losing money can pop up anytime. Thats why she trades with the leader in mobile trading. So shes always ready to take action, no matter how wily. Or weird. Or wonderfully the markets behaving. Which isnt rocket science. Its just c
cheers and applause . Stephen welcome to the report, good to have you with us, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause audience chanting stephen . Thank you, ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause folks thank you, nation, thank you, in here, out there, you know, folks, on nights like this i need that kind of adulation because as you know though i am the leader of the colbert nation, i am but a passenger on the ocean line over your courage. cheers and applause nation, i need your courage tonight because i am boiling with rage. laughter today president ohandout signed an executive order raising the minimum wage for Government Employees to 10. 10 an hour cheers and applause yeah, yeah. Im mad, too. laughter what an outrageous waste of my tax dollars and, for the record, the only thing i like about going to the d. M. V. Is knowing that the workers are as miserable as i look in my drivers license photo. laughter and applause folks cheers and applause folks, this is just more proof that t
cheers and applause folks thank you, nation, thank you, in here, out there, you know, folks, on nights like this i need that kind of adulation because as you know though i am the leader of the colbert nation, i am but a passenger on the ocean line over your courage. cheers and applause nation, i need your courage tonight because i am boiling with rage. laughter today president ohandout signed an executive order raising the minimum wage for Government Employees to 10. 10 an hour cheers and applause yeah, yeah. Im mad, too. laughter what an outrageous waste of my tax dollars and, for the record, the only thing i like about going to the d. M. V. Is knowing that the workers are as miserable as i look in my drivers license photo. laughter and applause folks cheers and applause folks, this is just more proof that the president is a wonderful host at im sorry, is a power mad tyrant. laughter and it is time we sent him a thank you note for a lovely evening no i mean laughter . I mean we sent h
So you dont know. So what are these atheist bullies want . Im assuming a dictatorship of godlessness. Were stopping the government from preferring one religion over another. We demand equality from the government and its our constitutional right. You should be demanding it along with me. Jon yes we should because you are perhaps technically correct, although im still not sure how your local manger scene Enforcement Program is going to get you to that goal. But you know what, maybe that godless man is right. Maybe the government should force communities to make sure all religions are given exactly, exactly equal treatment, even lutherans. Perhaps as i setle into my normal midshow nap, i can ponder what a wonderful, equitable world that would be. [snoring] [speaking in a ghost voice] jon, jon jon who are you . [speaking in a ghost voice] im the ghost of christmas past. Jon why are you dressed as a kinky zombie . Your ghost form is always wearing what you die in. Jon did you die from auto
Sometimes you see an awesome preview for a movie you know is horrible, but you want to find out how it ends. Well, now you dont have to, because i love watching awful movies. Ill tell you how theyre gonna end in a new segment were calling spoiler alert. This weeks film is an underrated little gem called orphan. I gotta tell you, this thing had me at frame one. Now, they dont adopt this crazy chick till about 45 minutes in. Yeah, shes just up in the attic. Shes painting. She can paint really well. Oh, the moms a great pianist too. Did i mention they have a deaf daughter . They have a deaf daughter. Kids who hang out with adults are [bleep] freaks. And they become instant best friends. Were best friends. Ill learn sign language. How long should that take . Apparently like a half a day. And the dads like, oh, i dont believe you, woman, that ive known my entire life. I believe this girl that we just met. She never wants to go to the dentist either. Shes like, dont take me to the dentist. A