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Transcripts For CNN CNN Heroes Salutes 20240707

technological tidal wave. so you ve just bought your first personal computer, you brought it home from the store, you re unpacking it, and then comes the moment of truth. if you ve just got your first personal computer, this show is for you. computers were, in 1990, a disconnected device. it was a brick, right, inside your house, that let you do amazing things that you d never been able to do before, but it was, essentially, a productivity tool. now that we have all these very powerful tools, we are still islands, and we are still not really connecting these people using these powerful tools together. apple was in a period of decline. steve jobs quit in kind of a temper tantrum in 1985, and he went off and started a company called next. after he left, there was a sequence of pretty boring, unimaginative corporate leadership that followed him. so why did you leave apple? well, why did i leave apple? well, i was asked to leave. yeah, i was asked to leave apple

Report: We re Not Going To Stop Until You Engage With Our Fucking Click Drive

EVERYWHERE Wondering when the unending barrage of content from The Onion’s Click Drive might finally give way, the nation was informed by insiders at the media outlet Wednesday that they would not stop pestering people until they gave in and engaged with the fucking thing. “Rest assured, the Click Drive will continue…

The Onion Has Used The Funds From Its Click Drive To Purchase A Jet Ski

CHICAGO As a capstone to a record-breaking day for the internationally recognized brand’s views and advertising revenue, The Onion released a statement Wednesday confirming that it had used all of the funds raised from its annual Click Drive to purchase a Yamaha WaveRunner VX series. “Following a massive haul that…

CDC Recommends 6 Hours Of Clicking Per Day For Healthy Fingers

ATLANTA Saying that when it came to manual strength and dexterity the only options were to “use it or lose it,” the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a new set of health guidelines Wednesday that recommended a minimum of six hours of daily clicking for healthy fingers. “To ensure that your fingers…

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