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Report: We're Not Going To Stop Until You Engage With Our Fucking Click Drive

EVERYWHERE—Wondering when the unending barrage of content from The Onion’s Click Drive might finally give way, the nation was informed by insiders at the media outlet Wednesday that they would not stop pestering people until they gave in and engaged with the fucking thing. “Rest assured, the Click Drive will continue…
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The Onion Has Used The Funds From Its Click Drive To Purchase A Jet Ski

CHICAGO—As a capstone to a record-breaking day for the internationally recognized brand’s views and advertising revenue, The Onion released a statement Wednesday confirming that it had used all of the funds raised from its annual Click Drive to purchase a Yamaha WaveRunner VX series. “Following a massive haul that…
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Help Slow The Demise Of Media With The Onion's Annual Click Drive

Back when it was a great, respected, and profitable business, journalism employed thousands of reporters who worked tirelessly to cover interesting and important stories from around the globe. But now, after years of neglect, an overreliance on programmatic advertising, and predation by private equity firms, the…
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