EVERYWHERE Wondering when the unending barrage of content from The Onion’s Click Drive might finally give way, the nation was informed by insiders at the media outlet Wednesday that they would not stop pestering people until they gave in and engaged with the fucking thing. “Rest assured, the Click Drive will continue…
ATLANTA Saying that when it came to manual strength and dexterity the only options were to “use it or lose it,” the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued a new set of health guidelines Wednesday that recommended a minimum of six hours of daily clicking for healthy fingers. “To ensure that your fingers…