Page 14 - Ready Set News Today

And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody hello there cheers and applause please have a seat, everybody thank you so much, welcome one and all to the late show. Im your shows Stephen Colbert. Folks cheers and applause i like that. Thank you. I dont know how you guys are feeling tonight, but i am staying positive not testing positive, just staying positive laughter staying positive. F isal. laughter ll will ...

The stock market today suffered its worst day since 2008, while great person trump suffered his worst day he was at m. I. T. He taught at m. I. T. For, i think, a Record Number of years. He was a great super genius, since, i dont know, yesterday [ laughter ] dr. John trump i like this stuff. President Trumps White House i really get it. Social media director, this people are surprised that i weekend, shared a video of understand it. Former Vice President joe biden every one of these doctors said...

[ laughter ] seth hes hes a doctor why do you think he knows more than he does do you do this during your actual doctors appointments mr. President , it looks like you have an undigested hamburger lodged in your stomach. No, youre wrong, thats just my second heart. [ laughter ] trump probably thinks he knows more about actual doctors because this guy was his actual doctor do you remember him . The guy who looks less like a doctor, and more like hes hiding in the witness protection program. [ lau...

San francisco, were looking at the crawl on 6. 80 south on to west 24 because we have an accident thats right here after that connector ramp the left lane is still block the 2 left lanes are blocked so emergency crews are on scene 6. 80 still backed up and want to e if i can switch over to a camera there it is theres our crashes from the caltrans camera on westbound 24. It was blocking the 2 left lanes and looks like yeah still blocking there so thats why its so slow on south 6 ad out of concord...

A frontrunner has dropped out of the rights to become the democratic nominee for president. This is a truly breathtaking action by an accountable Political Institution masquerading as a legal body. The u. S. Secretary of state slams the International Criminal court after it agrees to take up a case surrounding alleged atrocities in afghanistan. And in sport indias women make cricketing history without a ball being bowled through the t 20 world cup finals despite the semi against england being ra...

Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight honey, i quarantined the kids. Plus, stephen welcomes Neil Degrasse tyson comedian Hannah Einbinder and Community Calendar with ty burrell. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey. Hey there, friendo, nice to see you yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah aaahhh, yeah. Happy friday jon happy friday. Audience Stephen Stephen stephen. Stephen all ...

Major events are being canceled, postponed. The tax deadline may even be postponed. Theyre thinking about pushing tax day past april 15th. Jeff bezos heard that and said, wow, whats tax day . The ncaa announced that march madness will go on but with no fans. There will be no spectators, outside of the players families. They should also consider playing without a ball. Thats just a petri the warriors will be playing without a crowd. But basketball games in the pros have been played without fans b...

Former Vice President joe biden widened his delegate lead over senator Bernie Sanders for the democratic nomination. Wow, it is starting to look like biden is going to wander away with this thing. [ laughter ] after a Strong Performance in yesterdays socalled mini tuesday primary, former Vice President joe biden spoke last night from philadelphia and said, quote, tonight we are a step closer to restoring decency, dignity, and honor to the white house. And to anyone who says differently youre ful...

Headlines. Lets kick it off with coffee. Its the drink you have when youre sleepy so you can poop yourself awake. laughter but one Coffee Company is in trouble for how they get that coffee to you. The famous pitch man for a coffee giant George Clooney is speaking out after that company was linked to a child labor scandal. As nespressos ambassador, George Clooney hack the face of the company, and now says hes saddened and surprised by child labor. They said progress have been made but clearly the...

Faithful. Youll have a butt clean enough to eat off of. So dont worry about the t. P. Shortage, come to ted bidets budget bidets and get the water up your squatter. Squatter. Stephen welcomes john oliver, and musical guest, alex ebert. With jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live onape from a safe distance, its stephen clbert stephen fire hello. Welcome to day two of my special quarantine edition of the late show with stephen colbert. Or as were calling it tonight, the flame show with stephen ...