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That nordstrom might be swedish for free stuff. Roll it. The crowd ransacked the shop stealing a hundred grand worth of designer goods. Wait a minute, this is not the right video. Thats chicago from last week. Thats the mob that looted a 711. I didnt think nordstrom sold beef jerky. Can we roll the right one, please . Go ahead. All right. So in la last week 50 criminals wait a second. Thats not la either. Thats philly. Thats 100 kids took a wawa apart. Thats the last time i let you guys smoke we...

>> greg: yes, its friday and you know what that means, huh? i really have to go to the bathroom. but im not. im going to wait until its over. lets welcome tonights guests. this early bird sure is special, fox and friends first cohost carley shimkus! [cheers and applause] >> greg: believe it or not, hes the only guy on the show tonight named hotep, youtube host hotep jesus! [cheers and applause]. >> greg: he looks like the guy who came to cut down your trees. comedian jim florentine! [c...

[cheers and applause] >> greg: wow. yeah! yeah, all right, i love you, think. happy wednesday, everyone. so weve seen the pro hamas protesters out in the streets blocking traffic, provoking police and contributing to sky mate change with their collective body odor. but have you ever stopped to think, who the hell are these people? these are working-age people who can go out in the middle of a weekday to aggravate others who are actually working. how is this possible? we complain about ...

♪ >> greg: that is true! happy thursday, everybody. thank you. so disney has announced that the next star wars movie will be directed by a woman. you heard that right. disney admits they can define a woman. but the new directors not just any woman, no, shes a pakistani canadian feminist activist. exactly the kind of person the star wars franchise needs. the kind whos idea of fun is lecturing you about oppression while combing dandruff out of her armpits. not her, somebody like that. ...

alcatraz, carl maldins nose? you remember him, huh? ♪ >> greg: oh, man streets of san francisco, now they call it frisco because shoplifters stole the other letters. you may have heard nordstrom closing both downtown stores due to the shockingly amount of shoplifting. when asked about folding the white house said they thought they already blew that up. >> shut down is the pipeline of nordstrom one. >> greg: yeah, we dug up. but that can happen to anyone who among us hasnt confused a ...

but this is what we have to do to get eyes on the parts of america that need our help. hit the music. ♪ >> hello, im tyrus. and just for $0.39 a day, you could do what our government is failing to do. like help east palestine, ohio. or aids at the southern border. they get less support than a friend who says lets vacation in delaware. or provide michigan with clean drinking water. theres more heavy metal in there than gregs record collection. or help with the homeless and countless. ...

but weve got a valentines day card from a very important person today and its our favorite vp. take it away kamala. ♪ >> hey valentine. theres a time to celebrate valentines day and that time is now, for celebrating. because its the time. love kamala. [cackling laugh] >> greg: how sweet of her. i think she sent a few. heres another. ♪ >> hey valentine. thanks for the candy, but i would have preferred a venn diagram and a yellow school bus you could see with your own eyes. [cackling...

♪ >> greg: oh, look a that. unlike trinidad and tobago she only needs one name, host of kennedy on fox business, its kennedy. [cheers and applause] >> greg: hes so sharp were handing out band-aids to the audience, contributing editor at the spectator, chadwick moore. [cheers and applause] >> greg: shes so hip grandpas want her as a replacement. fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and when he steps out of the shower, the national weather service issues a fog...

how silky smooth my back is right now, youd understand. fyi, my waxer started a gofundme to cover her therapy bills. get well soon tatyana. but its a good day to mark your calendar because we may have found an honest politician. jeff jackson a north carolina democrat and freshman rep -- im sorry, fresh person rep, looked into a camera and said something weve all suspected but couldnt prove. that his colleagues are a bunch of phonies who dont believe a word of their own [bleep]. it was ...

but this is what we have to do to get eyes on the parts of america that need our help. hit the music. ♪ >> hello, im tyrus. and just for $0.39 a day, you could do what our government is failing to do. like help east palestine, ohio. or aids at the southern border. they get less support than a friend who says lets vacation in delaware. or provide michigan with clean drinking water. theres more heavy metal in there than gregs record collection. or help with the homeless and countles...