20 Great Mark Twain Quotes “I am not AN American,” Sam Clemens once quipped. “I am THE American.” Humorist, satirist and scathing social commentator, Mark Twain occupies a special place in the pantheon of American (and world) writers. Few have come close to matching his precision in lampooning the ills of society, but none have surpassed him. Here is a collection of twenty of his greatest quotations, though there are certainly hundreds to choose from. Enjoy! 1 Quotes 1 – 5 1. Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.