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and it becomes quite a therapeutic drug. and you can then become fully functional on it and then, you can find yourself going to work on it. it's become a way for beth and jay to cope with things that have happened in their lives, and they're using every day. it's just that little bit of escapism and that reality. unfortunately, i have had a few things that have gone on in my life that have led me to make these decisions. post—traumatic stress disorder. i do suffer mental health as well. and so, that's kind of been my turn—to. it starts off with you're at a party, you're having a bit of fun and then, it starts to become something that masks how you're really feeling and that's — that's what i've turned to. but i love that escapism. i absolutely love the feeling of when i have it. i feel great. i feel normal — i feel me. with a justin bieber haircut. i used to have to straighten his hair for him before he went to school. so, rian, when he was growing up, was very cheeky,