Rachael told Emmanuel she "was very confused" when Matt told her he wanted to end their relationship. "I was very blindsided, but once that instant reaction went away, I thought about how strong I thought our relationship was. So for him to end things," she said, "he must've been very, very hurt by everything. It was hard because I lost the love of my life but in the process of that I hurt him while doing so. I love him so much and I always will." For more on Matt James' season finale of The Bachelor, listen below to the episode of PEOPLE Every Day.