Trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with coronavirus. The only thing living its best life in 2020. Over the past 24 hours, multiple states including texas and florida reported record covid 19 fatalities, and for everyone whos asking what america is doing wrong, well, one viral photo might offer a clue. A tale of two countries, this picture is going viral for high lighting the differences in covid 19 responses between the United States and canada. At the top of your screen, a packed american tour boat. At Niagara Falls carrying hundreds of people, you can see them in blue pompgos. The bottom one, carrying a half dozen tourist, a canadian one in red vests. The image shows two boats passing each other earlier this month. Trevor canadian boats have six people, americans are packed together on the boat. Im not sure thats mist from the waterfall. That could be everyone coughing. Im joking. The people could be safe because theyre outdoors in the mist and the wind. I dont know. This photo is a metaphor for how differently the u. S. Is treating this pandemic fro other countri. Of all things to risk dying for, looking at a waterfall is the worst choice, until i theres a vaccine. Stick to the rivers and lakes that youre used to. I also feel canada is being a little too safe. You guys have free healthcare, live a little by the way, keeping boats from being overcrowded isnt the only thing canada is doing to stop the spread of corona. The c. D. C. And the canadian province of British Columbia just released official Health Guidelines telling canadians to try using gluer are holes for safer sex because they say the wall stops you from breathing on each other but the hole keeps the magic happening. If ever that was a sign, this is how you know coronavirus is really bad. When doctors are like, okay, go stick your dick in a wall, it will save lives. I dont know about goer holes, but my personal advice is if you want to be real safe, Everyone Needs to have sex the same way mike pence does. What you do is you go in the bedroom first and lock the door so no one else can come in. Sex heres another tip, guys, wear mask over your balls. Doesnt stop the virus, its just like no one wants to see your balls. Its like a cupcake. The party is on the top. Hide that stuff. Football coming back but the Washington Redskins are not. Effective middle east the redskins will be called the Washington Football Team as they look for a replacement mascot. According to espn, this is not the final name of the time team, but they need something in place before games begin this season. A new permanent name and logo is still in the works. Trevor im sorry. That is the laziest team name i have ever heard. They prenamed a professional football franchise the same way you save phone knurls of people you just met. Karaoke dude with the big ears that sings strange. Woman from the bar. Idiot coworker. Let me change that. Id yo idiot coworker michael kosta. The Washington Football Team . Sounds like they can only afford the store brand version of team names. Mom couldnt buy us cheerios so she brought oat circles. Eat this in the morning. Its going to be helpful to people who dont follow the n. F. L. If someone asks you who youre rooting for you will be, like, the Football Team . Sounds like you know what youre talking about. Interesting choice, the Football Team. I like when they do the ball. laughter lets move to news thats likely out of the world. Its about space. New this morning, its an historic space race to mars, the red planet, china launched its First Ever Mission to mars this morning. A six wheeled robot lifted off on a rocket from the island south of chinas mainland. Details are top secret. Chinas not releasing the rovers name. Should get there in orbit in february behind hope launched by the united arab emirates. U. S. Is supposed to launch perseverance from Cape Canaveral next week. Theyre going to have a traffic jam up there. Trevor wait, wait. Why is everybody trying to go to mars . Theres never been a movie on mars that ends well. Best Case Scenario youre losing weight because youre on an all potato diet, thats it. Sths is this the best time for Space Exploration . Scientists i know you want to have fun but we need you focused on the pandemic you finch your corona, scientists, then you can have mars. Dont you look at me like that, young scientist. Moving on to politics. Yesterday we talked about how a republican congressman named ted yoho called alexandria ocasiocortez a ~bleep bitch in the halls of the capitol building. A. O. C. Fired back with both barrels. An extraordinary happening on the house floor a few moments ago. Congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez talking about republican congressman ted yoho throwing ex pli titches at her. I was minding my own business, walking up the steps, and representative omo put his finger in my face, he called me disgusting, he called me crazy and, in front of reporters, y ohio called me and i quote a ~bleep bitch. I want to be clear that representative yohos comments were not deeply hurtful or piercing to me because i have worked a working class job, i have waited tables in restaurants, i have ridden the subway, i have tossed men out of bars that have used language like mr. Yohos. Mr. Yoho mentioned he has a wife and two daughters. I am someones daughter, too, and i am here because i have to show my parents that i am their daughter, and that they did not raise me to accept abuse from men. Trevor i dont care what anybody says, i am glad a. O. C. Came out on the house floor and said exactly what hat congressman said to her, expletives and all. Because if you only hear about the story on the news, you probably heard them say that yoho use add derogatory language or offensive determine or made a decorum oopsy. A. O. C. Is absolutely right. Time and time again powerful men hide behind the fact that they have daughters to shield themselves from accusations of sexism. Its like the dudes are at the gender reveal parties, yay, its pink a political prop to excuse my bad behavior the happiest day of my life enough of bad politicians. President trump. For years now, trump has been bragging about how he aced a dementia test he took back in 2018, and now hes been bringing it up every chance he gets. He talked about it on chris wallace, he replaced the portrait of Abraham Lincoln with a drawing of the elephant, and in an interview with nbc news trump we want into the greatest detail yet on the test that he says proves hes a genius. And it was 30 or 35 questions. The first questions are very easy. The last questions are much more difficult, like a memory question. Its, like, you will go, person, woman, man, camera, tv. So they say, could you repeat that. So i said, yeah. So its person, woman, man, camera, tv. Okay. Thats very good. If you get it in order, you get extra points. Okay. Now hes asking you other questions, other questions, and then, ten minutes, 15, 20 minutes later, will say, remember the first question, not the first, but the tenth question . Give us that again. Can you do that again . And you go, person, woman, man, camera, tv. If you get it in order, you get extra points. They said, nobody gets it in order. Its actually not that easy, but for me, it was easy. They say, thats amazing. How did you do that . I do it because i have, like, a good memory, because im cognitively there. Trevor donald trump is the only person who can talk about a cognitive test but make me feel like i have brain damage. Hes gone from bragging about his historic Electoral College win to boasting that he can solve the puzzle in a happy meal. I almost feel like obsessing over a dementia test i took two years ago is the real dementia test. Can we agree trump is naming the things he sees in front of him at that moment . Thats what hes doing. Person, woman, man, camera, tv. Youre not a genius if you do that. Anyone can do it. Camera, chair, bookshelf, dead body. Testify. Im a genius, too what makes it stranger that trump keeps bragging about his score on the test is the neurologist who created the test told the Washington Post its not meant to measure i. Q. Or intellectual skill in any way. If someone performance well they can be ruled out for cognitive impairments that comes with alzheimers, dementia strokes or multiple sclerosis. It doesnt make him a genius. It makes him desperate. He thinks hes more mentally sharp than joe biden. Joe biden tonight calling out mr. Trump tas countrys first racist president. Weve had racists who tried to get elected president and hes the first one had. Thats what he told the worker who expressed children he blames china for the coronavirus pandemic. Trevor i understand the point biden was trying to make but donald trump is obviously not the first racist american president because biden calling trump the first racist president is like calling lebron the first black n. B. A. Player. He may be the best right now, but there were a lot before him. And dont get me wrong, it was extremely racist when trump wouldnt let black people live at his properties, but those early president s wouldnt let black people not live at their properties to. Summarize some oft what we know of american president s, 12 owned slaves, so right off the bat theyre out. Woodrow supported the clan. L. B. J. Used n word in private. Nixon used slurs. Reagan auld African Leaders monkeys who were uncomfortable wearing shoes. Those are the things we know about. I dont know who this guy is. Hes probably racist. Look at the mutton chops. , so look, biden was clearly wrong about this. In fact, he was so wrong that with our help trump has now turned his gaff into a new attack ad. Gaff machine joe biden is at it again, claiming that donald trump is the first racist president. Hes the first one the first one the first one the first one. But the truth is donald trump is just one of many racist president s. In fact, historically speaking, very few president s werent racist, and one of them was black. So this november, vote for trump, the only candidate racist enough to be president. Im donald trump and i approve this message. Person woman man camera tv. Trevor whoo devastating we have to take a quick break, but when we come back well tell you about americas new pasttime spanish flu. Stick around. Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. A tasty duet of two treats in one and dont you worry cause weve got a ton for you. Its true cream soda and dr pepper time new dr pepper and cream soda. A delicious duet well then chill your reeses, dessyoull eat it slower. Ast . I wouldnt know i swallow mine whole like a duck. Not sorry. Reeses. The daily distancing show. Its no secret that america is struggling with the coronavirus. Part of the reason is that hardly anyone alive has ever seen a pandemic like this before. In fact, to find the closest one, you have to go back over 100 years. The nations top Infectious Disease expert dr. Anthony fauci says this current pandemic may match the horror of 1918s flu epidemic. This is a pandemic of historic proportions. We cant deny that fact. Its something i think that when history looks back on it, it will be comparable to what we saw in 118. Trevor yes, to find something similar to corona, you have to go back to 1918. Thats way back, like back before they even invented smiling. Would you like to try smiling . But this is a picture. I know, do something crazy. Yeah, youre right. Wont work. What has america learned since the 1918 spanish flu . Turns out, not a lot. As well see in another installment of if you dont know, now you know. The spanish flu of 1918 had a lot in common with coronavirus 20206789 it infected millions around the gloarks spread through coughs and sneezes, and through much, we were wiping our butts with old newspapers. The biggest difference is how America Society responded. In both eras, the pandemic spread thanks to the mismanagement of the federal government. Mr. Trump downplayed it. Woodrow wilson tried to minimize the spanish flu. Woodrow wilson pretended it didnt happen. Discarding the existing advice from his own Public Health experts. Woodrow wilson encouraged public events, told mayors and governors to have military parades. Despite public warnings, President Trump is encouraging thousands of people to gravitier for a fireworks display. You had national Public Health leaders saying such things as this is ordinary influenza by another name. View this the same as the flu. The Surgeon General said if proper precautions are taken, you have no cause for alarm. This is no reason for panic at all. Its going to disappear one day. Its like a miracle, it will disappear. Trevor trump is making all the same mistakes that Woodrow Wilson once made. I know we said we wanted him to be more president ial but not that president. Sometimes it seems like trump is a frankenstein but made up of only the worst parts of all previous president s. We know he has the Pandemic Response of Woodrow Wilson, the racism of andrew jackson. The horniness of bill clinton, the vocabulary of george w. Bush and stuffed into tafts body. The lack of leadership created a vacuum in 118 that allowed misinformation and dangerous cures to be spread as fast as the virus. As the coronavirus virus is spreading worldwide, the misinformation is spreading too. President trump is spreading the conspiracy the virus was begun in china. They blamed the germans, saying beyer, a german owned company infected their as prison. The president offers snake Oil Treatments the president suggested americans can ingest themselves with disinfect tons ward off covid 19. The disinfectant knocks it out in a minute. Snake oil sailsmen had a field day. Vicks said it stimulated the mucus membrane to throw off the germs. Flenlty of ads touting medicines, tablets, the use of disinfectants. Trevor people back in the day were so dumb, they thought you could spread flu through as prison . I mean, everyone knows that diseases are spread through 5g. Thats why you turn on airplane mode. I actually admired conspiracy theorists back then because they didnt have youtube to spread ideas by wii means to get people to believe this stuff they had to go door to door. knocking good day, maam, the rockefellers are recording a vaccine to hear your thoughts. Plies hit like or subscribe. Ill return in a few days. If you like what i say, ill recommend my friends who tell you why the earth is really flat. Im willing to bet the vicks conspiracy was started with an african dad because they try to fix everything with vicks. Daddy, can i get a hug . Im sad. You need to put vicks on your chest. It will warm up your heart. Now go away. Heres the thing, what we saw in 1918 and were seeing today is the lack of trust in leadership doesnt just cause the wrong treatments to spread, it also makes it much harder for the trying to treatments to sprenchtsd cities recommended face masks, though many residents didnt take that suggestion seriously. Despite the alarming spike, many people still refuse to wear masks. A mask mandate followed but not everyone complied. Masks are mandated here, not everyone likes the rule. You guys are violating federal law, you get that . One woman declared the ordinance unconstitutional. They say it interferes with their personal liberty and its unconstitutional. The antimasked sentiment coal eased into something organized. Are you going to allow the government to dwrowl you have to wear a mask . No trevor its bad enough team today dont want to wear masks but why wouldnt people in 118 wear masks . The past smelled like shit all the time. Forget the flu, i would have worn a mask not to smell the horse crap and prerunningwater b. O. I would tell them masks actually helped bring an end to the spanish flu. The harts would be, like, oh, yeah, if masks worked so well, how come theyre dead now . It is depressing its been 100 years and masks are still the best invention for stop ago pandemic. If someone traveled in a time machine, i traveled into the future, pray tell what ways can you stop a virus, nose lasers . No, a mask. Still a mask . Yes. But now its blue so far, america has repeated all the mistakes with corona that it made during the spanish flu. And if the americans dont do the unamerican thing of learning from history, then 2020 will be bound to repeat the worst of 2019, the second wave. Backlash from business owners, pressured cities to reopen. As cities eased guidelines, some were hit with the second wave of the flu. St. Louis, bahama and omaha saw some cases after lifting. Denver opens. Thousands glock to the streets for an aramisties stay celebration. No more than ten days later signs that the city opened up too soon became clear as the death toll rises again. In San Francisco the cases went almost down to zero. The city said lets open up and have a great big parade. Well all take off our masks together. Because of that event, two months later, the great influenza came back roaring. Trevor thats something we have to keep in mind. The lesson of 1918 is bringing crowds back too soon will bring the virus back, too. So as much as i hate to say it, we actually need to get trump reelected. Yeah, because if theres anyone who knows how to keep a crowd size down its him. Thats where we are. Its clear nothing has really changed since 1918, except for the fac that, now, our clothing shows off our butts. And with the spanish full, america has ignored the spread of covid 19 until it was too late. Even now america isnt taking the steps needed to flatten the curve. But its not too late to learn from history. So, america, put on a mask, socially distance because the way things are going right now, by the time 2120 comes around, they wont there wont be anyone left to learn from our mistakes. When we come back, desi lydic checks in with her uncle rudy giuliani. Stick around. Devin, did you know geico is now offering an extra 15 percent credit on car and motorcycle policies . Ok . Thats 15 percent on top of what geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for . Dj khaled t