Somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick can it off with subway, the most popular place to eat after losing a custody battle. While america may love subway, looks like some other countries are having a hard time swallowing it. Subway one of the most recognizable sandwich shops was told its not even serving bread, at least according to ireland ireland Supreme Court. The Supreme Court said the sandwiches like the meatball sub doesnt have bread because its coo sugar ri. Ireland awrves a zero tax rate for certain foods like regular bread if it meets certain requirements. Trevor are you serious . According to irelands Supreme Court, subway bread is not actually bread because its too sugary and i am willing to bet subway is happy to have this be their big controversy. Yep, our bread is too sweet. Thats the scandal you should think about when you think absubway. Make it the sop search result for subway scandal. We deserve it sweet bread thats our thing shows you ireland and america are dealing with very different issues right now. Americas Supreme Court is on the brink of striking down healthcare and abortion rights and ireland Supreme Court is, like, this bread, its a wee bit sweet. Ill have to look into it. Did i mix the flour with the sugar . Three cups of sugar as opposed to flour . Dont know about that. Moving on to news from the animal kingdom. If you are bringing kids to the zoo, you may need to cover their ears at the the parrot exhibit. Foul mouthed parrots at the zoo big in trouble for swearing at people. Five african parrots were donated to the lincoln wildlife park in the same week. The birds quarantined together but staff said the parents were swearing and cussing at each other and visitors who starred cussing back. The zoo removed the par lots rots from public view. Trevor this is so unfair. Parrots just repeat what they hear, so if theyre cursing, its not their fault. Its the zookeepers fault for letting them watch the president ial debate. By the way, we hear the parrots cursing because they can learn english. You realize other animals are cursing all the time, too, right . Theyre all locked in prison. Thats what a zoo is, and they didnt even chit crimes. Every time you hear a lion roar, its another one going i want my ~bleep its the circle of life why is the zoo removing the parrots . Are you insane . This sounds by far like the best zoo you can go into. You know where i can see a bird that doesnt curse . Literally anywhere. I get you want to shield the children from it, make it an adults part of the zoo. Do you remember president obama, yeah, is nice guy america was with before she got catfished . Well for people who missed the 44th president of the United States, heres a way you can keep a little piece of him with you at all times. Rare items that belong to brack and Michelle Obama are going on the auction block. The president s number 23 High School Basketball gursy and the schools 179 year book are expected to fetch up to 200,000. Also for sale a vintage black cocktail dress Michelle Obama wore to a Charity Fund Raiser in 2010. This is believed to be the only gown of hearse ever to be offered in an auction. It is expected to sell for up to 70,000. The separate auctions take place in december. The auction house says the obamas did not put the items up for sale. Trevor does this no seem shady . An auction of obama memory peelia but the obamas were not involved . Does obama even know about this . Are they, like and the next item up for bidding, Barack Obamas wallet. And hes watching at home like, what the hell . For real, i think its pretty ballsy selling obamas stuff without his permission. The man has droned people for less. You are taking chances. Some of the items doesnt make sense. Why does anybody want obamas old basketball jersey. He wasnt in the n. B. A. Like paying thousands of dollars for lebrons history test. Thats not why hes famous. But having obamas year book might be cool. It might be a nice change of pace to look through a president s year book for fun instead of evidence. People are willing to pay big money for this kind of stuff and if a year book and old clothes will sell for 200,000, man, the obamas should just jump in. They should have a yard sale, theyd make a killing. Barack should be out in the yard, this cord has been in the family since 2007 and im only asking 0,000 for it. It works but you have to wiggle the thing and it starts charging. Sometimes it shocks, but thats life. Moving on to covid 19. The virus harder to get rid of than a facebook account. Every day, were learning more and more about the virus and who is most at risk. And we all know about the elderly and people with health conditions. But now theres a new risk factor you probably hadnt thought of. Scientists say people who inherited genes in neanderthal ancestors may be more acceptable to a severe case of covid 19. European study links a high risk of hop zigs and respiratory failure to a cluster of genes associated with the neanderthals. Those genes are found in about 16 of european population. Half the population in south asia is now nonexistent in africa and east asia. Researchers are not sure why the coronavirus is impacting these gene tides and say more studies are necessary. Trevor yo, yo, yo, that is crazy. People with neanderthal genes are more likely to be affected by coronavirus . Honestly, this is kind of embarrassing because, now, if you get covid, its your great, great, great ancestor smashed a cave man. How could you, nana . It was a different time back then. He had fire. I was cold. He asked me to come over for cave art and chill. Shhe was so sweet. This was surprising to me. I didnt know europeans had neanderthal genes. This is great news for africans because they have none. Some tude is walk around uganda saying, oooh, who are the savages now . Heres looking at you youre probably wondering whether you have neanderthal genes. Theres an easy way to tell. If theres a guy behind you that looks like a monkey and one in front of you that looks like a human then you, my friend, are a neanderthal. Its science. I dont make the rules. While theres a lot to learn about this disease, there are things scientists are sure abou, washing your hands helps and dont spend a lot of time in unsanitary enclosed spaces with lots of other people. Unfortunately, some people dont like listening to scientists. The white house blocked a new order from the c. D. C. To keep cruise ships docked till mid february. The ships will be allowed to sale after october 31. The c. D. C. Say there have been recent outbreaks of the virus on cruise ships overseas saying cruises continue to help spread the virus even when ships sail at reduced capacity. According to axios, Public Health officials privately complained the thwarting of the cruise ship ban is politically motivated because the industry is big in florida where the election is statistically tied. Trevor corona will be rolling around the ship like jay z in a pimping video. It feels like trump is trying to get people infected. Cruises are legal again and from now on everyone has to cover their sneezes with another persons mouth. I dont care what anybody says, this is clearly a politically motivated decision by donald trump but there must be a safer way for him to win is support of florida voters. Why not give the medal of honor to pit bull or tax credits to anyone with exposed ass cheeks . I dont understand why anyone wants to go on a cruise during corona. Its like boarding the titanic knowing its going to sink. The captain, im going to steer this into an iceberg. I dont care, i just want to meet leonardo dicaprio. Cruise lines are playing chess because they know corona cant hurt you if Food Poisoning from the seafood buffet kills you first. Doesnt make sense for anybody living in america to get on a cruise ship now. This country has a crazy high infection rate. Were all overeating, nobodys sleeping well and were trapped in our homes most of the day. This is a cruise, people. Youre getting the experience for free. Finally, political news after the fiasco that was the first president ial debate, americans everywhere spoke up to say, please we cannot go through Something Like this ever again. And now the commission that runs the debates is taking action. The president ial Debate Commission is promising rule changes after tuesdays faceoff in cleveland. This comes amid the fallout from the first meeting between President Trump and joe biden that was filled with insults and lots of interruptions. Those changes could include turning off the microphone of the candidate not answering the question and then giving the moderator the ability to mute microphones as needed. Trevor okay, okay. Cutting off trumps mike might be a good idea but they shouldnt have told him about it in advance. Because knowing trump, now hes just going to bring his own mic and a portable speaker like those guys on the subway. This next question is for joe biden show time, folks its show time show time i dont know if this is going to work because even without a microphone trump can still find a way to be a distraction without talking. In 2016 he made the ridiculous faces. He lurked in the background like a t rex in a suit. Who could forget his interpretive ribbon dancing. This man knows how to steal focus. They should live his mic on the same way they shouldnt ban his twitter account. I dont want anyone making donald trump seem more sane than he is. Let america see who donald trump is. Open the mic look, well find out soon what the big changes are going to be but one of them has already been announced and i dont know guys, maybe its because we made it but it looks very promising. This guy the president ial Debate Commission has heard your concerns about how the last president ial debate went. Fewer interruptions. Im appealing to you, sir, to do that. Well, and him, too. Thats why weve made small tweaks to the process. The next debate will feature stricter time limits, more moderator controls, and the president will be required to wear a muzzle. He got thrown out of the military and didnt have a job until you became vice president. This has 15 pounds of reinforced concrete to reduce disruptive interruptions. Weve also heard your concerns about the lack of Fact Checking which is why this muzzle comes equipped with a sensor which releases helium gas if it detects falsehood. This is going to be a fraud like youve never seen. And will activate a voice filter that makes donald trump sound more president ial. In many cases radical left. obama voice there is not a liberal america and a conservative america there is a United States of america the president ial debate muzzle, the next best thing to having a normal president trevor we have to take a quick break. When we come back, ronny chieng will try on the suit that stops coronavirus. And then mariah carey is on the show. Dont go away. Taking california for a ride. Companies like uber, lyft, doordash. Breaking state employment laws for years. Now these multibilliondollar companies wrote deceptive prop 22 to buy themselves a new law. To deny drivers the rights they deserve. No sick leave. No workers comp. No unemployment benefits. Vote no on the deceptive uber, lyft, doordash prop 22. One ride california doesnt want to take. Dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh light it up, dynamite shining through the city with a little funk and soul so ima light it up like dynamite cause, ahah, shining through the city with a little funk and soul im a light it up like dynamite, whoa the daily social distancing show. Ever since the corona pandemic began, weve heard that life wont return to normal until theres a vaccine. But theres a New Invention that night get us back to life much sooner, and our very own ronny chieng went to check it out i never thought i would say this but after five months of quarantine im actually starting to miss seeing people and going places. I miss going to santa con and our subway rides. My fight club and of course my illegal strip club. I miss everything. Recently a tech company in los angeles released a plan for what they think could solve this problem. Its called the micrashell future suit. I wanted to talk to the genius scientist who developed this technology. And, yes, hes also a deejay and em d. M. Producer who would only talk to me if i dressed cool it has an air tank that goes through a high efficiency filter that provides a safe way of breathing you made a breathable head condom yes. This could be go to a concert. This could be go to a race. Young people is not caringt that much about safety. So unless you make it cool, nobody is going to wear it. Fun and sex appeal needs to be very important with our safety this is like p. P. Evil coachella exactly this is perfect. Has speakers, a microphone to help you communicate with friends and a lighting system to help you express your moods from totally faded to lit a. F. M. Thats not all you have a canister and can fill it with drink or vape so you want to be able to vape in this thing . Yes i dont even vape but that looks cool as hell. Theres another disine feature. The suit only comes to waist level but why . Its a suit that allows you to have sex youre telling me someone would want to have sex with me if i wear that suit . I would think a lot of people would like to have sex with you only because of this suit okay, sold. But there is one concern, how would it work for people who are too cool to go to e. D. M. Raves . Where else can i wear the suit, yoga . Yes black friday sale yes a covid party yes a Cappella Group practice . We spit a lot you could, yes like my a Cappella Group, the suit sounded almost too good singing could this actually work . I had to try for myself and see if people on the streets of new york would embrace this innovation. No, i would not. No. No. I think this is a hard no. No. Why not . It looks stupid. Its not, like, cute. It looks stupid. What about this makes you not want to dance in it . Your face now the. Its perfectly fine. Im sure it is. You would wear this . Yes. Go swimming in this . Yes. Sex in this . No. Would you have sex in this suit . No. Yeah, probably not. Im married. Yeah, butt it might be fun. laughter ill finally settle down and get married so well not have to wear the suit. You would rather get married than wear the suit to have sex. Yes. This protects you against the virus . Is it totally safe . Thats a great question and i probably should have found that out before i put this on. I decided to talk to a science nerd who knows everything about stuff. Epidemiologist saskia. When i first saw it, i thought it was a halloween costume. Its being labeled as personal protective equipment or p. P. E. And thats pretty much everything its not. Could you state your education and how many e. D. M. Concerts you have been. I have a masters in health and infectious epidemiology, a masters in National Security and policy and a ph. D. In Environmental Defense and not been to any e. D. M. Concerts. So youre not an expert in any of this, really. On paper its awesome. It protects you against coronavirus, you can drink in it, it has speakers and you can have unsafe sex safely. Why are you hating on this . This is a great example of being innovative to do unsafe things like a concert. But unfortunately its a filter its saying is protecting you hasnt been approved which means you dont know if its working effectively. If the suit doesnt work, how are we supposed to enjoy live events . We need to stay home. The faster we can get numbers to problem, hopefully the things will be normal. Probably wont be till 2021. Or we get these funky tran suits and party now. I dont think thats going to happen. She left me in serious doubts. If the suit might not protect me, was it even worth going out to a crowded event, listening to terrible music and inhaling toxic chemicals . I wanted miguels reaction. Its good to be crueticle but you need to be critical and constructive. So at least we are trying to figure out the situation rather than just staying on our couch watching tv. Its an ambitious product. I can see my groarmt wearing this. I cant believe you would wear it to protect your grandma at live events. Shes pretty dope. Is she available. Uh i cant tell you. Send me her photo and i will consider your offer. I will think about that. The future suit isnt about air filter certifications, exhaust fan mechanisms and disinfection processes, its a dream for a future in which humans can be together as one again living our lives to the fullest and doing the things we really love without being afraid. coughing trevor thank you. Time for a short break. When we come back, ill speak to the woman who brought us christmas. Mariah carey, people. Dont go away. Our new mcdonalds spicy chicken mcnuggets are just the right amount of spicy. A smalltomedium sprite kind of spicy. A. Lets get a mcflurry after this kind of spicy. But if you get the mighty hot sauce. Its a. Napkins are for foreheads now kind of spicy. A. This came from mcdonalds . Kind of spicy. Because our spicy chicken mcnuggets breaded in tempura, made with cayenne are just the right amount of spicy. Unless. You remember what i said about the sauce. Ba da ba ba ba got a today job . Pick it up free same day at your local autozone. More of a tomorrow project . Order as late as 10pm with free next day delivery. Getting the job done, just got easier. Getting the job done, they say were we say playfuls never done dont fight the feeling just let it flow stack it up, rack it up, let it go i got a secret the world should know lets stay playful, oreo thanks captain obvious. Im you from the future here to warn you about 2020. It cant be that bad, right . Lets just say it gets a bit dramatic. Theres no toilet paper, Hand Sanitizer or sports, oh and trips were cancelled. What . . listen just choose free cancellation on hotels. Com because no one knows what the future holds. Anything else . 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