President ial election is just one week away, one week, people and passions are running high. In florida martian went on a backhoe blitz stealing a bull dozer and adding his own curb appeal to homes of biden supporters. James blight drove around haines city digging out biden harris signs from front yards. According to authorities hed been drinking whiskey all day and stole the bull dozer from a nearby arbys construction site. Trevor this is truly such an amazing florida story. The only question now is whether this guy is going to end up in jail or the Governors Mansion but it also goes to show how everybody is too obsessed with politics right now. I mean, this dude stole a bull dozer, and his first astronaut was to drive over Campaign Signs . He could have done so much more he could have moved peoples cars to another parking spot. Or stolen an atm, or knocked over a fire hydrant to watch the water spray out. Guys, life is so much bigger than just politics. Also, did this guy think that bull dozing those signs was going to make a difference in the election . What was the logic here . Its not like the owners of those houses were going to walk outside and go, oh, no my lawn sign is how often gone how will i remember who to vote for now . If i was one to have the people he did this to, i wouldnt be mad, i would buy more signs and put them in the back of my yard in the shape of a pool. Yeah, you missed the other one, put two there. I mate to blame video games for anything but maybe this wouldnt have happened if grand theft auto would erelease a new game already. Its been seven years, rock star the people are hungry for it meanwhile, president trump, the florida man in chief, is holding coronavirusaways all across the mid rest and he clearly is getting tired of attacking joe biden because hes putting efforts into getting kamala harris. Bidens running mate, how about her . Kamala, kamala. booing did you see her on Television Last night with the laugh . She kept laughing. I said is there something wrong with her, too . I said is there something wrong with her, she kept laughing. She is considered more liberal than crazy berne, can you believe it . Were not going to have a socialist president , especially a female socialist president , were not going to have it, were not going to put up with it, its not going to map. Trevor especially a female socialist president . What does that mean . If were going to have socialism, it better be a dude because i dont want some chick giving me free healthcare. What if she sticks a finger up my butt . I love that a female socialist president is trumps Worst Nightmare because i can picture him waking up in a cold sweat and melania being, like, oh, no, honey, was it the female socialist president again . Im just kidding. Melania and trump dont share a bedroom. Hes going to judge her laugh . My man, lieu yao look like you were built by the same company who made the tower of pizza. Im sure people dont pose in front of you as well. Lets move on. If anyone kneeled a reminder about whats at stake in an election you got is last night because last night republicans took full advantage on their hold on the white house and the senate by officially sealing the deal on their replacement for the Late Supreme CourtJustice Ruth Bader ginsburg. From judge to Justice Barrett. I Amy Coney Barrett exactly one month after billion nominated by president trump, Amy Coney Barrett now joins the nations highest court concluding one of the quickest and most controversial Supreme Court confirmations in modern american history. The late evening event, the most partisan confirmation in 150 years. Only susan collins, one republican, voting in favor of barrett, every democrat voting against her. President trump relishing in the made for tv photo op. It is highly fitting that Justice Barrett fills the seat of a true pioneer for women, as Justice Ruth Bader ginsburg. Trevor say what you want about the g. O. P. But this was gangster. They swapped out a Supreme Court seat in four weeks. This whole process, this whole process in four weeks. Was like watch ago chop shop strip down your car for parts. Ill miss my audi but youve got to admire their technique. I dont know about you but i was shocked to see the senate move this quick. Normally they take months to do anything but here they moved so fast it was disorienting. Its like when you Call Customer Service and immediately speak to a human being. This is janet, how can i help you . Aaahhh i wasnt ready they just hustled Amy Coney Barrett straight from the confirmation to a midnight ceremony. She looked like the basic cable version of eyes wide shut. And guys, you know that anytime youre doing a daytime event at night, something is wrong. Like, if youre digging a hole during the day children playing, birds tweeting trevor but if youre digging the same hole at night owls hooting, trevor trumps comment about barrett being the perfect replacement for r. B. G. Is grade a. M. Trolling. He knows what hes doing because r. B. G. And barrett are both women but barrett is going to dismantle all of r. B. G. s good work. So this would be like if the lakers replaced lebron with ben carson, technically, theyre swapping one black man for another, but good luck on making the playoffs next season. as ben carson im going to take the shot as soon as i buzzer trevor but Senate Democrats had ominous warnings for colleagues who had finally crossed the line. Our republican colleagues are shattering the norms and breaking the rules and breaking their word and there will be consequences. I think there are now new rules in the senate and i think republicans have set them. The next time the American People give democrats a majority in this chamber, you will have forfeited the right to tell us how to run that majority. If all of this rulebreaking is taking place, what does the majority expect . What do they expect . They expect that theyre going to be able to break the rules with impunity and, when the shoe maybe is on the other foot, nothings going to happen . Trevor whoo democrats are not happy. This is the kind of warning you hear at the beginning of a horror movie youll rue the day you burned me alive for being a witch and i dont blame the democrats for being so pissed. For them, it has been a constant fouryear losing streak, and every now and again they get a win. At this point, theyre basically the knicks of politics. But by the sounds of it, if democrats take control of the senate, the gloves are coming off, except for you, Mitch Mcconnell, your gloves need to stay on so people can eat. These arent just empty threats. If the polls can be trusted, democrats have a good chance of taking control of the senate and the presidency next year. So the question is what are they going to do for revenge . Well, according to joe biden, its on. If elected, would you move to add more justices to the Supreme Court . If elected, what i will do is i will put together a National Bipartisan commission of constitutional scholars, democrats, republicans, liberal, conservative, and i will ask them to, over 180 days, come back to me with recommendations as to how to reform the court system because its getting out of whack, the way in which its being handled. Andeth not about court packing. There are a number of other things constitutional scholars have debated and ive took looked to see what recommendations that commission might make. Trevor really, joe biden . Democrats could have threatened to do anything expand the numbers of justices, make all the bathrooms in congress gender fluid, get drunk, bull doze the Supreme Court, but instead, you wait, mitch, because in six months the democrats are going to bring a Bipartisan Commission all up your ass rest in peace, ruth, we got you i mean, a sixmonth commission . I dont know that you could filibuster yourself. Read the room, joe when everyone is, like, were going to the club to shut shit down you dont go, or hear me out whos ever heard of scrabble . Heres the thing, the other day Mitch Mcconnell had a simple response to everyone concerned about how he got barrett on to the Supreme Court. You know what he said . He said, you cant win em all, and elections have consequences. And you know what . Hes right. And theres another election coming up in a week, and thats also going to have consequences, too, but elections are only the beginning of the story. Republicans didnt take over the court just because they felt like it, they did it because the people who elected them made it clear that it was a priority. So whatever your priority is for the Supreme Court going forward, you better vote next week, and then let the people you put in office know what you expect from them. All right, when we come back, we find out who is behind Donald Trumps teleprompter and Chelsea Handler is joining us on the show. Stick around. They say were we say playfuls never done dont fight the feeling just let it flow stack it up, rack it up, let it go i got a secret the world should know lets stay playful, oreo hersheys. The original cookies n creme. Thats another one. I cant wait i. Just. Baby, i cant wait i cant wait hey, what are you doing . I cant wait i cant wait say it one more time baby, i i i cant wait faster, faster theyre gaining on you [engine revving] thats good come on come on [spooky laugh] okay now [yelling] [yelling] [dinosdont even [dinosaur noises] im serious [dinosaur noises] yes fritolay variety packs. Packed with possibilities. Iwith vicks sinex saline nasal cmist. Tion for drug free relief that works fast. Vicks sinex. Instantly clear everday congestion. So, late last night, donald trump hosted a swearingin ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett, Supreme Court justice and mom who blocks nickelodeon for too much adult content. And some people were excited to see her ceremony, while others were furious about it. But one thing everyone was thinking was what the hell was trump talking about . We are fulfilling the duty that passes to each new generation to sustain the National Traditions and virtues that make possible everything we have achieved before that we will do tomorrow. Trevor trump is the only person who can make english sound like a Foreign Language. It actually sounds like someone translated trumps speech into farsi, back into english and gave him a concussion. The speech reminds me of essays i would write in high school when i was trying to reach a word count and then those who submitted would be also within their range to find dreams and memories. All right, done. Seriously, i dont know if you could figure it out because i ran that speech through Google Translate and it killed itself. Watching trump struggle through speeches like that makes me wonder how hard it would be for the guy in charge of his teleprompter. What is it like to be that guy . Well luckily, it turns out theres a documentary on just that very person. My name is Preston David smith and i operate the president s teleprompter. You may have heard him 3467 he. You want me to go back on teleprompter . No. Heres a question my poor guy must be having a fit, hes so good at this stuff. Hees on line three. Hes saying, sir, should i just turn the sucker off . Would you rather go teleprompter or freelance . Freelance. So basically im is seat belt that keeps him safe as he zooms down that verbal highway. Which is obviously a metaphor he does not wear seat belts. My job is basically load the words into the teleprompter, scroll it as the president reads. Sounds simple. Its not. The oped published in the failing New York Times by ananomus really an anomus, gutless coward. You just look. He was nobody knows who the hell he is or she, though they put he but probably thats a gitle disguise, that means its she. But for the sake of our National Security operating the president s teleprompter is one of the most important jobs in this current administration. It goes secretary of state, guy who turns on the tv to fox news, then me. Scrolling the prompter for the president is a dance. You know, sometimes hes leading, sometimes im leading, but sometimes its just jazz, and i just gotta lean back and let him take the solo. We gave them their dignity back. cheers and applause by the way, you dont mind if i go off script a little bit because, you know, its sort of boring. cheering got this beautiful speech, everythings wonderful, but a little boring. We have to you know. But we gave them their dignity back, and thats whyo yo why ouy is doing record business. I feel like everything in my life is leading up to this job. I got bit by the teleprompter bug earl lier. I would be in my room working for hours. I practiced on my dog. My mom said, preston, some day you are going to help grown men read words off a screen. And she was right. The president is an unparalleled communicator, so i am always trying to get on his level. But i do make typos. On january 23rd, venezwalas National Assembly he was awarded the bronze tar and come bat infantryman. Heart, luck and liver trance pants. And god bless the united states. I really thought the nate shtates was spelled with three hs but its just one. Trump is an amazing boss, he didnt give me corona, but sometimes i feel that i dont know, undervalued. And you know i say you shouldnt be allowed to use teleprompters because you have to test peoples intelligence. If you need teleprompters do you know how easy it is . No, you know do you easy it is . cheering all right. I guess what i do doesnt mean shit. Can we cut . But the job does have perks. I mean, you cant beat the hours. He goes off prompter so much ive had so much time to foster new hobbies. You know, they love wind, too, the big wind mills. I always say the greatest graveyard in the world for birds, just walk under a windmill, you will see more dead birds than you will ever imagine. Whats happening, including eagles, you know, in california, they put you in jail if you shoot a bal bald bald eagle. Its been a wild ride but i loved every second of it. Are you going to vote for trump . No, the dude is a horrible president. We have to come together and make sure this guy does not win again. Thats why im voting for kanye. Trevor fascinating stuff. All right, we have to take a quick break but dont go away because, when we come back, desi lydic gets real with undecided voters. Oh wowzers, what a special family special like my chips deluxe. With even more real chocolate chips. Only elves can make cookies this good keebler® made with magic, loved by families™. Faster, faster theyre gaining on you [engine revving] thats good come on come on [spooky laugh] okay now [yelling] this was the theater i came to quite often. The support weve had over the last few months has been amazing. I have a soft spot for local places. Its not just a work environment. Everyone here is family. Gonna go ahead and support him, get my hair cut, leave a big tip. If we focus on our local communities, we can find a way to get through this together. Thank you. If you are ready to open your heart and your home, check us out. Get out and about and support our local community. We thought for sure that we were done. And this town said not today. An herbal stress reliever ashwagandha, and this town said not today. That helps you turn the stressed life. Into your best life. Stress less and live more. With stressballs. Well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. Tintroducing the iphone 12 prog nwith 5g. Or a moment like this. Now at tmobile, the leader in 5g coverage, you can unleash the power of the epic iphone 12 pro in more places. Get 2 iphone 12 pros 2 lines of unlimited 5g for just 100. Only at tmobile. Americas largest 5g network. Show. With the election already underway, polls show that fewer than five percent of voters are still undecided. But why is that even that high . Desi lydic finds out. Every election season we hear about that rarest, most mysterious of demographics, the undecided voter. Those few voters who may still be on the fence. People who matter more than anyone else in this election. These voters are very important to harness in for either the biden or trump campaigns. The undecided 30 of voters usually decide elections and thats why politicians spend a lot of time trying to persuade them. But how could anyone be undecided choosing between these guys . This close to the election, all of you are still undecided voters . Yes. Regrettably yes. Completely undecided . I dont know if i am or not, so im i i dont know. So when do you think youre going to decide if youre undecided . You know, i i i dont know what i want to do. Um, so i think im waiting. I feel like im stuck behind those people who try every single flavor at baskinrobbins and each have their own brand of indecision. Biden republicans. I voted straight republican until the party was taken over by donald trump but im prolife. I voted for donald trump in 2016 but i dont know that our country can survive another four years of what feels like pure turmoil. There are also democrats who are hiding from biden. Something that, you know, ive seen with the Democratic Party is how they, you know, will take the africanamerican and the black vote for granted. And the independent whos pissed off with everybody. What each candidate is offering, the fact that someone can go bruft because of an emergency i think is embarrassing, and i think that we lack Maternity Care for uninsured women stephen, stop flirting, im married, okay . Dont get any ideas. All right, sorry. Go on. Okay. Maybe picking a president is too big a decision. How about we start with something smaller. All right, coke or pepsi. Pepsi. Coke. Pepsi. Coke. Chic