Transcripts For CSPAN Politicon Convention 20240713

[cheers and applause] mr. Franken werent they great . , who played bernie come up he has to start at a higher level and ramp it up. Wow. It is great to be here, isnt it, at politicon . People all over the ideological left,rum, right, farleft, farright, the nutcase left, the nutcase right, and there are even people here from nutcase middle. David brooks is here. [laughter] mr. Franken wrote another great column in the New York Times about how there arent enough it wasns like him, and very, very balance, i have to say. I know a lot of you might be wondering what i have been up to. Ill, when i left the senate, was going to give up my seat, but not my voice. Thank you. [applause] mr. Franken i have spent a lot of time thinking about how to do that, and how best to make a difference, so i have been spending the last few months going around the country, making speeches, about politics, health care. I have been raising money for organizations that do great things, like Trained Service dogs for veterans with ptsd, and. Have a new show on sirius xm that came out of my podcast, the al franken podcast, still going. I know that it sounds pathetic when you say i got a podcast commit because there are 600,000 podcasts in the world today. In fact, at first, i love barbecue. I was going to do my podcast on barbecue, with an emphasis on brisket. And i learned there are now 12 podcasts on brisket, and eight of them are really, really good to dotead, i have decided my podcast about issues, about the issues that matter to , because and our lives this is an Important Campaign coming up, and important election, the second most important election of our lifetime. The first one being the last one. Campaign, weast did not hear much about issues. It was called the trump circus and Hillary Clintons emails, so instead i am doing a podcast which focuses on issues that affect everyones lives, on income inequality, health care, wemate, immigration, because need to focus on actual issues this time. Education, what could be more important . If we are going to be climate change, if we are going to improve health care delivery, we need an educated workforce. Agoknow, not too many years , the United States was number one in the world in terms of percentage of our population that had graduated from college. Now we are number 12. And sinking. Ago, one committee , actually bernie was on that committee, we had a guy from the asnd my bernie isnt good, but i work with bernie a , i supposenie asked this is about the cost of college here, one of the reasons that we are falling well, how much does it cost to go to college in say, germany . The guy says, well, in germany you go to college for free. How much does it cost in france . France you payn nothing to go to college. Well, how about sweden . In sweden, they pay you to go to college. [laughter] so, we have to do something about the cost of college. Myn i was in the senate from staff would not let me do impressions of my colleagues. Is there anyone here from my staff . Good. Grassley my chuck first date in the senate day in the senate, and we got on the subway sitting across from each other, and chuck said to me, you look like you look on tv. I said, well, there is a reason for that, but a lot of times people say i am shorter than i look on tv. He said, guess what they say about me . I said, that you are taller than you look on tv. He said, yeah, how did you know that . I said because you are taller than you look on tv. He said guess what else they say about me. I said you are friendlier than you seem on tv. Yeah, how did you know that . Well, it wouldnt hurt to smell when you are on camera everyone small. Normally what we are talking about is pretty serious. I said, you can smile at the beginning and when you are serious, just be serious and smile at the end. Oh, that is a good idea. That is chuck. Course, politicon want to talk so i about some current politics. That gange, how about that invaded the capital skiff, huh . Skiff,one ever been to a compartmented information facility. In the capital is where members of congress get a briefing, classified briefings, and you cant bring your cameras in there. You know why . Briefersetimes the ring, oh, visual things like maps and very Sensitive Information you would not want our enemies to see or to hear, theif an idiot charges into with a smart phone and takes a picture or video, then sends it to a friend, and the chances are very good that the friend is also in idiot, and the idiots s friend then post it on facebook, our enemies could actually figure stuff out. And who knows, may be one of our intelligence assets could get outed and killed by the russians, which would make it in 20 ardor for us to recruit people overseas and keep americans like you safe. Isnt that a fun fact . You know how i know that . Because i was in the senate. The a lot. And also i paid attention. If you paid attention and thought about it for even a minute, you would know that bringing a camera into the and taking pictures or video could jeopardize the lives of who knows how many people. I hope you find this interesting. So you want to hear a story. I would tell you a story about being in the. It is a funny story. Nothing is as exciting as unknowingly starting a chain of events that could lead to say, oh, the detonation of a Nuclear Device in nashville five minutes from now. [laughter] mr. Franken wouldnt that be dramatic, huh . And it could all be traced back jim jordan running into the in making a video with his camera. Isnt anywhere near as exciting. In july, 2015. One and iran had just come to an agreement on the iran nuclear deal. The republicans were dead set against it, but president obama took the position that it was his right to make the deal unilaterally come in the republicans hated that, so obama and corker allowed a vote on the but the vote had to be a vote of s hadroval, so the no to be 67 votes, and republicans were just pissed off about that. Scif to hear from the secretaryons state, the sector of energy, the secretary of the treasury, and iranuy who is ahead of from the cia, who i wasnt because mr. Quimby. We are all there in the format of these briefings is they brief kerrye ask questions, so opens up with a great 15 minute summary, and it is pretty spectacular, and 15 minutes for kerry is about right. He sometimes goes on too long. This is really effective, and now the republicans are more pi ssed off, and mcconnell is pissed off. Goes, we have a lot of senators so we will get right to the questions. [laughter] he has some marbles in his mouth , you probably dont know that. He kind of goes, could i just have five minutes . And before he was energy secretary, he was chairman of the Nuclear Physics department negotiated the very gives aetails and he five minute summary that was just brilliant. Really pissed. Mcconnell starts calling on senators and you get called in the air you arrive. They asked him questions, and these guys handled it. They go right to the cia guy and they are getting madder and matter. He comes to me. I am sitting there, i can feel the tension in the room and i think, we would be good to dissipate this just a little bit. Maybe ill will try a joke. I dont really have a great joke but im just going to try. Leaderember the supreme had characterized the agreement oneerently than the p5 plus and the negotiators had. That could be an issue. I wanted to give them a chance to answer before he asked the republicans. I said i have a question about the supreme leader, or as i call him, the supreme being. It deserved that response, but because of the tension, for some reason, the room explodes with laughter. Tension kind of disappears. For some stupid reason. So we finished, and you can leave whenever you want, and people are asking questions. People are patting me on the back, that was a great joke. Me, can i used that joke in my state . I said, sure, go ahead. Just, why is it funny . Supreme leader is just an absurd title to americans, and the logical extension is that it is like supreme being. Oh, ok. I can tell that in my estate . In my state . All day, i am getting that, this was great. Later, 5 00, i entered the chamber. Me and comes right at me, goes, i told the president your joke. Supreme one. Said, no no no. Supreme being. He goes, thats right. Supreme being. Supremeut you told him one. Yes. Laugh. Didnt no. And you told them it was my joke. Yes. [laughter] so that is my story. As theot as exciting Nuclear Explosion that jordan is going to cause. Now, the reason they charge in is that they are mad about impeachment. All these Civil Servants who serve our country overseas are talking, are testifying. They are testifying to republicans and democrats, but rush inys decide to with their cameras, and they are doing this because a majority of americans now favors impeachment. Pissed . Who must be mueller. Mueller spent two and a half investigating everything that russia did and every connection the trump people had and indicting the campaign pleas from getting the National Security advisor and from the Deputy Campaign chairman and putting cohen into prison. Writes of 450 page report and no one reads it. Except people whose job it is to read it. And no one cares. Spending the been last three years saying i had nothing to do with any foreign interference in our elections. Trying tohree years convince people and prove that, and then he calls the new and shakesf ukraine with what the chief of ff calls basically says not basically, says is a quid pro quo. This with 12 people on the phone. Listening and taking notes. What an idiot. Now, he is going to be impeached. Himrity of americans want it is close down to a majority want him out. But a majority want him impeached. He is going to be impeached by the house and he is in shock. Trump is tweeting out insane stuff. He always has, but this stuff is, adam schiff should be tried for treason and executed. We are going to have a civil war. That will never end. It will never be resolved. I have one piece of advice for the joint chiefs of staff, and i hope this gets to them. Time to take the Nuclear Codes away from trump. Him thehe time to give wrong code. [applause] and if he just melts down and calls for the football and , thees in the wrong code guy with the football should just escort him to the president , shelter, which we should preequipped with freezers full of big macs, and say mr. President , just stay , he comes back a couple days later in a hazmat says, mr. President , good news. We won the war. China and russia, everyone dead. Everyone dead. Im not saying we didnt take it on the chin a little, but there are still people alive in muncie and in spokane. They are living. Sir, it would be best if you just stayed here for a number of months. Just let him sit there for another week or two, then come and have him arrested for attempted murder of 7 billion people. Thats all im saying. [applause] i want to tell you a little bit about myself. I was born in 1951. My dad was a printing salesman. My mom had the job of raising me and my brother, who is five years older than me. Bedroom in aared a two bedroom one bath house in st. Louis park, a suburb of minneapolis. I grew up middleclass at the height of the middleclass in the 1950s. Growing up in st. Louis park, i felt like the luckiest kid in the world, and i was. This is an optimistic time. This is postworld war ii america. Everyone was very antinazi. Nazi in postworld war ii america, you just kept that to yourself. St. Louis park was sometimes called saint jewish park because we were about 20 jewish. Now that is a lot of jews. A shtetl. Ta, that is jews is a lot of jews in minnesota. That used to be our license plate. Tom friedman grew up in st. Louis park. The Cohen Brothers grew up in st. Louis park. A lot of Cohen Brothers grew up in st. Louis park. Event it momentous remember was sputnik. Launched the first satellite into orbit in 1957. This just freaked america out. Soviets were ahead of us in space and they had nuclear weapons. So my parents marched me and my brother into the living room, sat us down and said, you boys are going to study math and science so we can beat the soviets. Was a lot of that pressure to put on a sixyearold. But, we were obedient sons, so we studied math and science. We were good at it. My brother was first in our family to go to college. He went to m. I. T. , majored in physics, and became a photographer. Thats my brother. I went to harvard and became a comedian. But, we beat the soviets, so you are welcome. A couple good things came out of my time in college. First of all, i get to tell people that i went to harvard. Wifet as good as i met my the first week of school at a that in Downtown Boston was 50 years ago september 19, and we have been married now 44 years, many of them happy. Frannie grew up very differently than me. Old, herwas 18 months father, a decorated world war ii vet, died in a car accident coming back from the paper mill where he worked. Old, sheas 18 months was not the youngest. There was one younger. Motherinlaw was widowed at age 29 with five kids. Age seven years old to three months old. Securityived on social survivor benefits. Sometimes, it was not enough for food. Sometimes, they didnt have enough for heating oil. This was in portland, maine. Sometimes, the phone was off, but they made it. My motherinlaw, when the youngest went to school, my motherinlaw worked at the supermarket in the produce department. Then when she went to high school, my motherinlaw got a 300 g. I. Loan to go to the university of maine. She got three more loans and graduated. She became in Elementary School teacher. [applause] and because she was teaching title i kids, all her loans were forgiven. Including my wife went to college and graduated. Of pell grants and scholarships. My brotherinlaw went into the coast guard, where he became an electrical engineer. Every member of frannies family made it into the middle class. Now, they tell you in this country to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. But first you have to have the boots. Gave mygovernment wifes family the boots and that is why i am a democrat. [applause] [shouting] oh, dont go. Accusation serious and i take it seriously. Believe me. Want to go ahead with the show and it is ok if you leave. So, about three months into my freshman year, i had a crisis. Basically, i was on the math and i kind of figured out i wasnt that interested in math and science. Frannie suggested i go to the Counselors Office and get help. A test. Had me take was thewas was it minnesota multiphasic personality inventory. I know this because a couple years ago i did a Google Search on the only statement that i remember, and it was i have never had any black and tarry bowel movements. All the top Google Search results said exactly the same thing, which is that of the 504 statements from the minnesota multiphasic, the only Statement People who took the test remember decades later is i have never had any black and tarry novel movements. Now i know what you want to know. But i dont remember. How i answered it. Do remember my results very distinctly. Of the hundreds of careers listed, scientist was last. Dead last. Number one was jazz musician. I did not play an instrument. Number two was camp counselor. Comedian was not considered a job or a career by the minnesota multiphasic people, and i looked at these results and said, that is telling me i should be a comedian. Because thats what i wanted to be. Later, dana carvey said, no one should be a comedian unless they have to be a comedian. Be, because i to think the thing i love most in my childhood was sitting in our tv room in st. Louis park with my family and watching comedy. Especially with my dad. And he loved comedy. Pipe ford inhaled a over 50 years. He stopped when he got emphysema. He loved comedy. He especially loved the tonight show and he loved buddy hackett. And when my dad gone i laughing jag, he would end up coughing and and up coughing up phlegm. So if johnny would say ladies and gentlemen, mr. Buddy hackett, my mom would get up and walk out of the room. Phlegm att mind the all. Met i dont know how many people remember franken and davis but i met tom davis in high school. That is something. Started doings stand up this theater. It was like a second city. It was a third city. College, tomff to and i would do a twoman show six nights a week and get paid to do it at this place. Between my junior and senior year, at the end of the summer, tom and i hitchhiked from minneapolis to l. A. Kids, dont do this. To go do the comedy store. And we killed. Andot on peoples radar after i graduated, we drove from , this is me and , and like most stories that start that way, almost immediate and lasting success. Hired us as writers. To be the first group of writers on a show, a new show that would air live from new york on saturday night, and that show of course was threes company. Atnded up doing 15 seasons snl and after the show, i will be happy if you want to go backstage and find out what drugs everybody did, i would be happy to let you know. But i would like to turn now to the essential task before us, which assuming he is in the white house year from now is defeating this sick, cruel, corrupt psychopath. Now that is just my opinion. That is my opinion. I am sure he has a terrific family somewhere. But the thing about donald trump is that in addition to being a compulsive liar, a serial conman, a white supremacist, and just kind of a jerk, this guy, and i mean it in the least pejorative way possible, does not know what he is doing. Lost know stuff can get between the locking kids up in cages and the selling out of the kurds. Fromhere is one example the 2016 campaign that i just cant get out of my head. Wonky, butd a little i promise this is worth it. Campaign, trump kept saying that he was going to repeal the Affordable Care act and replace it with something terrific. And thats great. We all love terrific things. Of howas wondering kind he was going to do that and during the campaign, trump had one idea. He trotted out only one idea debate, whatever press conference, one idea. Here it was. Companies toce sell policies across state lines. Remember that . That was it. During the entire campaign, whenever he was asked about health care, that was it. Toow Insurance Companies sell policies across state lines. The idea was that passing a federal law making it legal for health Insurance Companies to sell policies across state lines would increase competition and lower costs. The problem was that it was already legal for health Insurance Companies to sell policies across state lines. There was no federal law prohibiting it. It was up to the states. Had already states passed laws specifically saying that health Insurance Companies were completely welcome to come to their state and offer Health Insurance policies. Wyoming, georgia, kentucky, maine, rhode island, and washington state. And guess what. Zero health Insurance Companies had ever taken them up on it. Why . To sell you are going Health Insurance in tennessee, you have to set up something called a provider network. Network . Is a provider it is a network of health care providers, like doctors, who can treat you. That donaldthing trump doesnt know. Like to go to doctors in their state. [laughter] stupid this one idea was , because it involved legalizing something that was already legal, but also which didnt make any sense to anybody, in shitty healthf the plans that republicans offered or passed or put up for votes, includeothered to trumps one idea. Idea,dea of his, his own was too stupid for house republicans. Stupid for Louie Gohmert. If you dont know who Louie Gohmert is, just know that he is the Perfect Choice for that joke. [applause] [laughter] of course, when the plan finally failed because of the thumbs down from mccain, trump said this. Who knew that health care would be complicated . Everyone. Except you. Hope the nuclear code thing happens. I really do. That would make me so happy. Care isg is that health complicated. And that makes it easy to demagogue. Spent eight years doing just that, and then the dog caught the car. In 2017, republicans suddenly had control of the white house and both houses of congress and it was time to repeal and replace. Like a lot of people, i was really curious, what do you got . What did he think tanks come up with over the last eight years . How are you going to do this . Peoplecan ensure more provided just as good care, better care at the same cost or lower cost, bravo. I salute you, republicans. Good for you. We were rooting for this. Honest to god. But what they came up with was so horrible. People would be insured. Millions of americans would have to pay more for their insurance and people with preexisting conditions would not be guaranteed protection. Mackerel, the American People said, that is really bad. Time, a lot ofst americans finally started to understand what was in the Affordable Care act. Protection for people with preexisting conditions, but no annual or lifetime caps. Insuranceeir parents until they are 26 years old. Subsidies for people up to 400 of poverty. Medicaid expansion. You know what the last three states to pass Medicaid Expansion by referendum are . Idaho, nebraska, and oklahoma. Expansione medicaid and for reasons i could go on an i could go on and on about. Health benefits, hospitalization and newborn care. On and on and on. Ups is why democrats picked 40 house seats in 2018. [applause] 2018, one more fun health story. Health care story. Remember in 2018, there were all these Republican House members who said they were outraged that their opponents had accused them of voting against protections for people with preexisting conditions and they would say, that is a lie. It wasnt a lie. 2017, all of those republicans voted for a bill that did not guarantee that your family would have protection if you or your spouse or your child had a preexisting condition, but here is best part. Here is why i am telling the story. In 2018, republicans took one is known as a fig leaf vote. Is supposed to cover your cover your privates, but the fig covered half of a testicle. Here is what it was in you really wont believe this. It said Insurance Companies had to cover people with preexisting conditions, but it could charge them whatever they wanted. Here is the best part. The Insurance Companies did not for thecover any care preexisting condition. Wow. Cynical. And that is what they used to protectome we voted to peoples preexisting conditions. The Affordable Care act is the product of an administration and party that had ideas and led. What is happening now is we have a Majority Party that has no ideas. There only move seems to be like doing something to tear down ideas from the other side. [applause] now actual leadership requires having actual ideas. For example, why do all the other developed countries pay between 30 and 40 of what americans pay for pharmaceutical drugs . Well first of all, they do this interesting thing called negotiating. We have a much bigger market than canada or denmark. For us not to let medicare negotiate with pharmaceutical companies the way that the u. K. Does. Also, i have a personal pet peeves. We are only one of two countries in the world that allow pharmaceutical companies to advertise on tv and to deduct the cost of the advertising as a business expense, so the taxpayers are paying for these commercials come up for these when thereive drugs are less expensive drugs that are every bit as effective, but the doctor does not want to lose a patient who insists because the people in the commercial seems to be enjoying their lives so much. After that they are taking this now that they are taking this. So here is my idea. The last half of the commercial, it quickly runs through the negative side effects while they whileome reassuring music the actors broad bikes in the country or go antiquing or in a gazebo. E jazz instead of picking out the perfect tomato at a farmers , why not require the actors to act out the side effects question mark [applause] stopped taking the vectors if it leads to nonstop vomiting. Loss, bowel hair movements. Dont take it if you are allergic to it. How are you supposed to know before you take it . Allergic reactions may include nonhodgkins lymphoma, whenins lymphoma and bouma lymphoma. Suicidalpression and ideation. If you have Suicidal Ideation ask a friend to remove a loaded firearm from your residence. If they had the showed had to show the mother doing tai chi at the park while daughter had explosive diarrhea, maybe they would stop advertising it and doctors could describe a much cheaper drug that is every bit as effective. I have spent a long time on health care and i want to talk about another pressing issue facing the American People which an asshole ted cruz is. The story is about guns, but mostly it is about ted. Debate,oint during the he came up to me on the floor and said to me anyone for the assault weapons ban is [indiscernible] that is an sat word. Argument, alse deliberately false argument. The Clinton Justice department did a study on it and said it did not affect gun violence at all. I said, that is not true. You are talking about the 96 came 1996 study which after two years after the ban was passed and it said gun violence had gone down by 6 , but was not statistically valid enough to draw a conclusion and he said to me, just read the study. I went ok. I go back to my office, talk to my judiciary counsel and i state takers told me that anyone for the assault weapons ban is [indiscernible] and he said to me what is [indiscernible] . Is and i tellt it him what ted said. He said no, that report said gun violence had decreased, but was enough to drawly a conclusion. I said do a favor, go to the report, put it on a sheet of when i see ted, i will show him. I do that and carried around carry it around. I go up to him and i said you said to me that anyone engaged for the assault weapons ban is engaged in sophistry and he. Ays no i didnt you didnt expect the story to in that way did you . Shole. G of an as gosh, i wish that guy was here for this. I got about 10 minutes left. In the senate, my staff would not let me tell stories about my colleagues. Tom from oklahoma did not have a great sense of humor and he was on judiciary when i got there and the first three interactions i had were not good. Up and said let me buy you lunch and he said you can ok,me breakfast and i said and we had breakfast. We sat down and i said lets just have fun. Ok fine. Doctor. D you are a ob gyn. I said you are doctor. Let me ask you something. , doe a doctor in oklahoma you have to have any formal and he said yes, you got to go to medical school. Andid ok, that was a joke that is what i used to do in my career. Hour and i explained to him what jokes were and what the props for proper reaction to jokes were and we had a nice talk. Nervous. Was so the first day i got there, i was put on my desk a constituent note and there was a woman in 110. Sota who is turning i was supposed to write her a note. Ruth, you have a bright future. So, my scheduler picks it up and goes whats this . I said what is this . It is a joke. You think she will find it funny . I dont know. 110. You think her family will find it funny . Court ruled one same gender marriage, i wrote give it toelease and my staff and my press release minnesota senator al franken supremeay i applaud the court for legalizing same gender marriage throughout the nation, but i found justice polices veryce scalias dissent gay. What is the harm . I dont want to go over my time and i have three minutes left, so im going to thank you and. Ay that there is hope we have a great country. Do. Ow what i will tell a story. A reason to feel good about our country. A few years ago, i was sitting one of myce and we have a page, a minnesota page. And shey one has a page girl. Omali minnesota i said lets meet her. We go down and there are 30 brand spanking new pages and she is wearing a hijab and she is smiling. I go up to her and i say you look like a minnesota and and she smiles. Her and i got to know her. She was very very smart, very if the somalian ambassador would come, i would sure the along to make somali ambassador saw this American Girl who was a page in the United States senate. Latera little over a year , i heard she had been chosen by to be the class leaker, so i invited myself to introduce her. People. S 20,000 minnesota is the number one producer of turkeys in the. Nited states this big jenny plant and that attracted a number of latinos over the last several lot of somalis a who came as refugees were going so irk at that plant and went to the graduation and said to the principal and the and mona gave me a big hug. They said that 85 of the kids that go to college and i looked at the program and i could tell were german 25 dinavians, about 20 , were latino and 15 were some molly. , they showed who was and it was a great ceremony. The class president , i asked him , i can never pronounce your name. The valedictorian had been born andcuador and they spoke mona spoke about being a High School Student and the doubts you have and she gave a very universal speech. She got a standing ovation at the end of it and at the end of , they pass out the diplomas and made the announcement. So they saidand make sure to hold your applause until everyone has been announced. It went nuts and people were stopping on the bleachers. It just didnt stop. We have a great country. , two days before the 2016 election flew to minnesota for the first time the the campaign and he just started spewing and talked about hillarys plan to address the worst refugee crisis by admitting 65,000 refugees far, minnesotaso 28th. Mated admitted he said that her plan will support terrorism throughout your community. Referring of course to somalis in luna. About the week after the election, i spoke to the french ambassador of the United States and i asked him who was considered a frenchman. If you can point back to the village in france that your family came from and because of never really immigrants. Heir they keep them separate. What is unique about america is that we are all immigrants except for native americans that weakens committed genocide against. Somaliamerican. On election day in 2016, i went ,o the university of minnesota she gave me a hug and told me that her sister had been elected homecoming queen. Are. Is who we france, theye isolate their refugees and immigrants. Themerica, we elect homecoming queen. Thank you. [applause] this is the fifth politico on ticon convention and the first outside of california. Now witheair those political commentary david crumb. Hello, politicon, how are we doing . [applause] it is great to be back at politicon in nashville, tennessee, how many folks here are from nashville . Wow. How many folks are from outside of nashville . [audience cheering] how many people here are from