around the apartment, like 15 seconds. i don't know why. in my head, i was just thinking if someone's been in and she's cowering somewhere i guess is why i did it. and then just flew out through the back, down the stairs to the restaurant. as soon as the table was in sight, i just started screaming, madeleine's gone. they all jumped up. saying, she must be there, she must be there. obviously, i knew. >> gerry, this is every father's nightmare. every mother's nightmare. as a father, a young girl, and she's gone. what are you thinking? >> the first thing that went straight through my head is just disbelief. she can't be there, she can't be there. i was just running to the apartment with kate. i've checked. she's not there. and i ran into the bedroom. and i found it, just as kate described. when i saw that window pushed wide open and the shutter up, which we'd left down the whole week, it was horrible.