i can only say to myself, well, you felt really safe. i know how much i love my children. there's no way i'd have taken a risk. >> i think the worst thing about the focus on our behavior and, you know, if we could change it, we would have. we can't change it. but it takes the focus away from the abductor. that becomes quite frustrating for us. madeleine's still missing. that person or those responsible for taking her are still at large, piers -- >> somebody somewhere knows what happened. that must eat you up far more than fireside critics saying -- >> it's not like a double punishment, you know, we have expressed our regret. it doesn't change it, you know. and what we're trying to -- day one is what we can do to find madeleine and those responsible. if we can go back and -- tapas, we would be there.