and this is a man that's lived for 64 years where he's pretty -- pretty well handled his frustrations and stressors in life. and he's done it in what appears to be a pro social way because he hasn't been to jail and doesn't have an arrest record. this event if it didn't come out right away as oh my gosh, look what happened to him, that kind of makes sense, it's going to be something that was unique to him, it irritated him, but it's not going to be that sensational. it will be something, though, that to him changed -- changed life for him but when you and i hear it we'll be that's it? really? that's the reason? >> yeah. yeah. and why so long? why october of last year until now? so his girlfriend mary lou danley described him as a kind, caring, man. how does that square with the biggest mass killer of all