to work and just living my life. i got to be cautious on who i associate with. it's my real downfall. to be honest with you. i got a big heart and a lot of love for some of the guys. i got to pull back. like i told them before, i love you, but i've got to go. i got to succeed this time. i'll die like them guys and i -- look at this. this is a castle to me, you guys. i love it. i'm so happy. >> and truthfully, roy should have been here with you. how do you feel knowing you had planned this? >> i'm disappointed. he's better than prison. he's really a good man. honestly, i love him to death. he's better than all that prison [ bleep ]. he just didn't hold on. if he had held on till i got out, i was going to help him, because i know where his frame of mind is 100% and i understand. and i could have talked him down because he works himself up. i do the same thing and we could have talked each other down. hey, bro, come on, man, it ain't