The Good Men Project Become a Premium Member We have pioneered the largest worldwide conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Your support of our work is inspiring and invaluable. Forging My Own Definition of Love Dad’s misogyny and mis-guided masculinity will not diminish me. The Fury and Fear I don’t need to look for the roots of Dad’s misogny. I don’t want to. What I do want to do is to actively disengage. Find refuge. Saving myself sounds high-drama because it was. (It is). Escape isn’t always a planned event. Survivors of abuse and domestic violence know escape routes come in all shapes and sizes and at all times of the day and night. In the best of circumstances, Mom or me try to grab a phone before the next blow comes. In the worst of circumstances, you run for help or, at least, scream, “Stop ! Please stop !,” over and over or until Dad’s fury exhausts itself on the phone pulled out of the wall, on the door knocked off its hinges, on the handfuls of hair ripped from Mom’s scalp and the dollar bills pulled from the wallet in her purse strewn on the bathroom floor.