[applause] greg all right now it is just me and you. Happy thursday, everyone. By now you probably saw our great interview with Donald Trump. Amazing, right . [applause] after the show i felt like a hezbollah fighter, my phone was blowing up. [laughter] it is true, in lebanon thousands of pagers and phones exploded killing dozens of terrorists. We reached out to hezbollah leaders, but they have not returned our calls. President trump was a huge hit on the show Last Night, my favourite part was the Secret Service pat down. Turns out that i was happy to see them. Now we have officially asked kamala to appear on our show. We have already promised a box of wine for her, and an assortment of nannies for her husband. He will probably abort it. The show. Greg i am talking about the show. A chinese you admitted that their pandas were actually painted dogs. They got the idea from Makeup Artists at The View. In your face. The Rapper Sean Diddy combs is being held in federal custody on charges of Sex Trafficking, racketeering, conspiracy, and transportation to engage in constitution. He could be an honorary biden. He spent the night in a barbaric jail known for its barbaric conditions in brooklyn, known for guards that play his Music And Maggot infested sales. Sales. Federal agents had previously searched his multiple homes and seized more than 1000 bottles of Baby Oil. What kind of needs more than 500 bottles . So one man. Said one man. For the first time in three decades, the teamsters are not endorsing a president ial candidate. Jimmy is turning over in his grave which will really miss with the foundation of hillarys house. True, with the exception of 1996, the teamsters have endorsed the democrat in every election since 92. Bill clinton, obama, hillary, Joe Biden, even without hillary that is our real murderers row. The last republican the teamsters endorsed was the first george bush, that is just how much Michael Dukakis sucked. How ironic, they were in the tank for every democrat except for the democrat in the tank. Silence. But ever since then the union has been in the democratic Partys Pocket since hillary stopped having sex. That is like a decades. Greg but like a high School Yearbook Photo of leah thomas, things have changed. Now they are staying away from the democratic party like it is a bathroom just used by andrea mitchell. Kamala losing the Union Endorsement is like Sean Diddy combs running out of Baby Oil, there was a whole lot of friction ahead. This week the teamsters release the results of three internal polls asking who should the teamsters endorsed for president. In july Joe Biden clearly one at 40 4 , with trump at 30 6 . But that is as good as it gets for biden, because everything joe gets these days is through a straw. When teamsters it pulled pulled their members about the democratic new candidate, cackles mick kneecaps. That was a pretty good nickname. Greg trump came out way ahead at almost 60 . 11 kamala . Only 30 4 . I am no mathematician but i realized that that is a lot less than 60 i realize that on my birthday when i was staring at a waitress. Kamala got worse results then Chris Christie selling jenny craig. Sitting at 30 4 compared to trumps 50 8 . No wonder she has been dodging the press like trump on the back nine. That latest poll came before the second assassination attempt. Every time they try to kill trump it is like pluto giving kansas spinach. Despite teamsters and bracing trump they decided to endorse nobody. Like those mimes in my basement, there silence speaks volumes. Here is how Union Leaders rationalized it, quote, old the unions extensive polling showed no Majority Support for Kamala Harris, and no universal support among membership for Donald Trump. No universal support for trump, He Peter by almost 30 points in the Teamsters Old pulled but he it dashed they are not endorsing him because he did not get 100 . The only thing that i will be 100 on is my commitment to helping orphans learn how to read. I expected applause there, but that is okay. I am joking [bleep] the orphans, [bleep] the orphans. What are the teamsters . Men, bluecollar workingmen, mainly the men who fix my plumbing, deliver my packages, and install a mirror over my bed. This Union Dispute reflects what a lot of men are going through, a Husband Or Boyfriend may like trump but to keep the piece he keeps his mouth shut. You can see his Eyes Twitching out this message, my ballot for trump is under the flowerpots. No endorsement is an endorsement coming from men. Men of all stripes favour trump including the ones who think he is a jerk. They would rather have a brutal badass than a nonsensical nincompoop. True, Taylor Swift endorsed Hell Which would kamala which would mean something if you lowered the Voting Age to 12. Unlike the democrats, teamsters have jobs where consequences can be life or death. Make a dumb choice on a Construction Site . Good luck yelling quite fragility when you are dropping 90 feat. A lot of teamsters or truckers, they know when you raise their costs or force them to switch to evs the price of everything goes up. But Union Leaders would rather watch the prices go up like they just shook hands with jerrys proctologist. But in the race it is just her gender. Teamsters are usually sensible defenders of family and property. What do you do when that becomes an object of mockery . You flee faster than Tim Walz after a balloon pops. Men do not want to be in a place where they are not wanted. That is the current democratic party where its leaders cannot define a woman, but sentiment to womens prisons. Trump knows that real men are the key to this election. Especially due you, hairy. Harry, get up. Carrie get your Fat Ass off the couch. Get up, harry. Come on, lets go. Lets go, harry. Greg lets see if harry was listening. Hear he is. Greg lets welcome tonights guests unlike the software, this and norton gives you viruses. Comedian Jim Norton she has interviewed jocks when they are wearing nothing but socks, former Nfl Reporter Michele Tafoya she has a national best seller, but you would not want to smell her. New york times bestselling author Kat Timpf if he takes two to the max you will go splat, New York times bestselling author, heavyweight champion, tyrus jim, what is ironic as you look and sound like a teamster. You are as soft as a little pile of dough. I know that was meant to be hurtful but i take that as a great complement, thank you very much. Greg what do you make at this decision . Does not feel like it is exactly what a dude would do in a political situation. It is a little bit cowardly for them not to endorse the guy most of their Members Vote for. But i cannot speak elegance that because whenever they need a job they hire me to stand nude in front of the building. But it is a little bit mushy to come out and not endorse the guy if all of the members want to endorse him. I guess there are a lot of members but for he mutely object. Greg i just feel, it feels like this is an endorsement. It is like going to trump. Do you know how many guys are doing that right now . This is what i was going to say, before they made the announcement of weather or not they were going to endorse they came out with a pole, you see this pole, 60, 34. 60 is a lot more than 34 and you say this will be interesting. While they back this up with an endorsement . They say we will not endorse anybody. So it makes you wonder how many organizations there are across america, i wonder what kind of organization it is, is saying either we are not endorsing or we are endorsing kamala, when the vast majority of their Rank And File membership is actually supportive of trump. They just cannot say its because it is to controversial or it is not within the narrative that you wanted to be, it is not politically correct. I do not know. Greg unions with druids dudes are for trump. Unions with women like the Teachers Union are for kamala. Or you surprised that the teamsters are for trump . I follow this very closely. Greg you were once a teamster but that has a different definition where you are from. Is this not may be better for trump, kind of . I think he likes two out there and say look what, they are trying to [bleep] be over. Maybe he does not use the f word, ever, but it is hard because he is a very rich man, very influential than. But he gets to sometimes say look at how i am a victim because of how people treat him. Nobody that rich, that influential, should ever get to play the victim role, but stuff like this he gets to do that. He says look at this poll they are not endorsing me, somebody is against me. You just gave him a new 15 for his next rally. Greg it is true, because i have the Rank And File. It is the elites that are protecting me. Do you think i am overstating the Gender Thing . I do not know how you were voting, jim, and frankly i do not know if you are male or female. I am kidding. But i do not know any dudes that are voting for kamala. Hold on, let me protect, before you get a lot of married men in trouble, just to stop. In a house where the wife is a democrat every man is a democrat. 363 days of the year. That is why you vote alone. [applause] but the bigger thing is that this is good for trump because it shows what we already know. The majority of people are behind him. It is the ones in charge of the camera, and the reason why they do not come in and out and say it is because it is the cfo who is prokamala and that is a good way to get fired, or not get promoted, or half your stuff to get away from you. It is the ones pulling the strings they are. We are all democrat and the workers are not unusually the workers dont have a voice. Now the Workers Voice is getting so loud that they have to say we are not endorsing. That is how big and how loud they talked and yelled and pushed to say no, we are not going that way anymore. There was a change We Saw that with bud light. Americans do not get involved much but when they do it is a it is resounding and powerful. Theirs an exit is not closed, the selection will be over by 10 00 p. M. Eastern, i am telling you. It is not close. The only people who are excited. [applause] you should be able two on. We were all planning on having the night off, i just [bleep] myself. Greg i wish i had that certitude but i do not. I think these things are designed to be close. It is down to these swing states, these counties, at get smaller and smaller until it is just one dude on the street not wearing his pants. Looking a lot like Jim Norton. Or you in a union . There was no union for comedy. Greg i thought you might be in the actors. So after it, yes, they dropped my Health Insurance after the pandemic, yes, i am. They drop mind to, it is okay. He asked if i was male or female and did not give me a chance to respond. Greg what is your answer . I will tell you after the break. Greg that is what i call the teas. Up next, the libs make. Announcer if you will be in the New York area and would like tickets to see gutfeld go to foxnews. Com gutfeld and click on the link to join our studio audience. Introducing New Advil targeted relief. The only topical Pain Reliever with 4 powerful painfighting ingredients that start working on contact to target tough pain at the source. For up to 8 hours of powerful relief. New advil targeted relief. Dangerous ladders. Gutter muck. Yuck. No wonder you hate cleaning your gutters. Good thing theres leaffilter. Our patented Filter Technology keeps leaves and debris out of your gutters forever. Guaranteed. Call 833 Leaffilter to get started. And get the permanent Gutter Solution that ends clogs for good. They took the time to answer all of our questions. They really put us at ease. End clogged gutters for good. Call 833. Leaf. Filter, or visit leaffilter. Com today. It is coming your way it is video of the day. [applause] greg will putin not attack because kamala is half black . [laughter] our first video of the day coming to us from some tool on msnbc who said that Kamala Harris will keep dangerous leaders in line because she is the productivity mixed marriage. She is an inspiration, not only Issue positive, she will bring hope and optimism. But as a black woman, the productive and mixed marriage, she will inspire millions of people people throughout the world. Our credibility as a nation will be able to allow our country to be so great that she can become the commander in chief, the president of the united states. That wasnt a powerful message all over the road. People like vladimir putin. These guys, they truly are a democratic country, they are truly representative, truly fighting for all of their people. And Kamala Harris is a manifestation of that. Greg she is going to inspire putin all right. She draws troops just to flee that conversation. Putin invaded ukraine a while Kamala Harris was Vice President but it will be different this time because that is how magical thinking works. Meanwhile, Sunny Hostin is still done as a box of bricks as she insults families that are mixed. Patrick mahomes, his Wife Brittany to the ire of The Views resident Race Bait her. She said brittany should not support trump because she is in a Interracial Marriage. Watch. It seems to be since she is in an interracial know Interracial Marriage she should have known that to support a racist is problematic. Her children are biracial and her family is one of the families that in the 70s could not have lived in any of Donald Trumps buildings. Greg just when you think that Joy Behar it is as bad as it gets, she says hold my beer whitie. All right, tyrus. Why the hell are you coming to me . I will tell you from here. [laughter] you know how bad it is when they are in the meeting and they say what do we have left . Women . We have been doing that. The indian thing is not working. The black thing . It should work but does not take on like we thought it would. Her mixed race powers will scare putin, yes. Yes. And then you see rumours of putin like what is he afraid of . Because she is black on the top and white on the bottom. Like me i am white on the top and black on the bottom. Whatever the hell will scare the one country on this planet that does not mix anything. Even the drink they still call it white russian. This is the one place were being mixed is not going to help you. [laughter] i guess the Obama Thing did not throw you off because he was technically mixed as well. They have nothing. Who is writing this [bleep] . I feel like it is you. Goes home and puts on his little Democrat Hat like. [laughter] and they believe everything he says because only you would write a story where they say because she is biracial. And then putin is like woah. Is that contagious . I dont want it on me. Greg kat, that is a hot take. This man woke up, put on a suit, got in the car, went there, sat down, on his makeup done,s fact in a chair to say that putin is afraid of black women. That is what he said. That all this time this roar that war that has been raging for years, Nobody Thought of this yet. But this guy, and that first the interview where i often judge the interviews for not asking followup questions. Something i bring up a lot. This interview were just went wow. I am not judging as much. If you are number 1, what else do you say . Number 2, it was, i do not think that the interviewer was listening. Greg yes. I had to play it several times to get through the whole thing. I could not have possibly heard what i thought i did. Probably they got home and said that is what happened. I wonder how that man felt on his way home. Greg i nailed it. I nailed it. I am going to get a job in the administration on foreign policy. The only thing that was missing is if we take one like a skinned baby and parachuted into russia we will have it conquered in half an hour. Greg i find it. A yellow one Ew Greg you know what kills me . Sonny, she is kind of race shaming. She is like the pigment police. If you are the productive you really cannot be for this person it is like you are betraying your race. I think tyrus represented this well last evening when you have that very special guest. There are a lot of black people supporting president trump. A lot of them. I have had a number of them on the Michele Tafoya podcast, which you can find wherever you get your podcasts. [applause] the other thing, i know the mahons a little bit, i dont know brittany that well, but i know patrick. Full disclosure, i sat in the conservative chair on The View a number of times. Wow. Wow. You will never invite me back i dont care so i will tell you. Sitting in those Production Meetings was like having your teeth pulled out with no novocain. They were the saddest, most angry, most depressing people i have ever been around. Greg no [laughter] i mean, this kind of thing, and maybe during commercial i will tell you a couple things they said to me of camera. Greg know, right now. Come on. Come on, come on. Give me one. So off camera, they ripped into me about a relative that i mentioned to did not want to get the vaccine. She called them a selfish bastard. That was off camera, the second was when sunny said to be off camera, i cannot prove this to you when it is not on tape but she said to me i hope people whose ancestors owned, i hope those People Today feel some kind of way. I kind of wanted to say to what end. You should have said how do you feel . I know. Just because they were black now does not mean you are black then. But what she has set about Brittany And Patrick mahons is simply disgusting. It is stupid. It is so illinformed and i cant take it anymore. Greg gym . You are an expert in interracial studies. You did a lot of studying abroad it. Yes. Greg also down south. Yes. My favourite part of that clip was how dry that Mans Mouth was. Yes greg dont you love the swallowing . It was like he was snacking on a sock and then they cut to him. He could not have believed all of that. I think he played sometimes for the audience, there is no way he could believe that crap. It is funny the conservatives mentioned race it is because when deliverable does that they are trying to make a higher point. Sunny often socks and if you said so that that about somebody who was black you would get a lot of crap for that. So dry mouth. His body did everything it could to stop this. We cut off the water he is still [bleep] talking. Greg we have to move on. O up next, kamala hurt your brain going down memory lane. [applause]thn ho yourself a l, is it even a workout . Always discreet keeps me dry during even the toughest workout. Absorbing up to a cup full with up to zero wet feel and odor. So im not just dry, im jump squats level dry. Ready for a second set . Everyday protection for every level of leak. Weve got you, always. Always discreet. 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The classic cam. Greg she thought she was a queen even back in 2016. How classic Kamala Video has surfaced and it is not the one that Whitney Brown still has on her cell phone. This clip takes place at a Los Angeles Jail and it shows her doing what she does secondbest, annoying a captive audience while speaking to a group of inmates looking to reenter society she made it all about her. Rolled it i was the first person to be a woman at the Attorney General california, the first woman elected in san francisco, the first women to be elected the trend that the Attorney General of california. The first. It is tough. Greg she left out first ever to win the democratic primary with 0 volts. [applause] she really knew her audience of Prison Inmates because she put them in there for smoking pots. But what does being part of the Role Model Club mean . Being part of the Role Model Club means being in a room where sometimes you were the only person who has had the experiences that you have had. Being a part of the Role Model Club means that people will watch you being a part of the Role Model Club, means knowing that there are people who you inspire even when you dont realize it. It is kind of like a permanent membership to be part of the Role Model Club. Greg sadly after that blathered the inmates were all put on suicide watch. Michelle, she really has not changed. I see something that she and biden really have in common they always make good about themselves. Congratulations to All Of You inmates who graduated, now lets talk about me. First thing first lets take out the part where she talks about herself. She talks about everything. It was absolutely brutal, her description of being part of the Role Model Club, like she is so special. You are going to be inspiring people even if you dont know that she is watching. I am inspired to puke because of that. [applause] greg if you do, aim towards joe because he likes that. You just called Me Joe it will take him a few days. Like the president ial hangover. We have a couple days. Greg have i ever done that to you before . Yes. Greg speaking of Role Models are you in any Role Model Club . You know, greg, i do not like to break, i am an inspiration to comedians who have a lot of side of fact and tiny genitals. You can somehow work 30 years and still be called joe. Greg i apologize for that. I do not know what happen. So many people are named joe. I am not one of them, greg. There are no joes here tonight. Greg how many joes do you need in your life . How many inmates took it . Honestly, mike. Im sure they hated it. She is talking about a Role Model like you are a prosecuting attorney. They got nothing. That was kind of the clap now and it got, she thinks, israel should have sent them hezbollah walkietalkies. That imploded with silence. It was terrible and it came off as more arrogant than she probably intended. But it stinks. Greg i think, kat, she got into the toilet wine. I just cannot believe that she sat there and told these inmates not because she is a Role Model but because it is tough. After you were done or why dont you walk over to the Childrens Hospital and tell them you are sleepy . I mean, it is great to have a, i guess you can bring up yourself that is what i cant, that would be like me saying i just became a twotime New York times bestselling author. [applause] i cant bring that up i need to wait for Somebody Else to congratulate me on it first. Greg congratulations. Thank you, im very excited. It has been overwhelmingly positive but i did get one bad review from a woman who gave it one star and she is returning it because it contains stories about my nasty lifestyle. Greg can i play you a clip from her past . Imovie . Greg no. Here is another deep cut talking about guns. In the sanctity of your locked home does not mean we will not walk into that home and check to see if you are being responsible and safe in the way you conduct your affairs. Greg is that incredible . You can try. You know, she uses adjectives so well. I mean, lets chill out here for a minute. She uses adjectives better than anybody i had never seen before. With as many adjectives as she uses she cannot explain [bleep] to anybody. But to uses adjectives which describe situations. She used them like riddles. She just said i dont know what she just said. Greg it is true. It is a glistening, dewy. I know this is crazy but this would be the time to use a pronoun. Greg yes. Coming up, they are holding P Diddy in the of New York city. Announcer if you will be in the New York area and would like tickets to see gutfeld go to foxnews. Com gutfeld and click on the link to see our studio audience. Ok, here is your paperwork, if you want to review it and make sure everythings in order. These factory floormats, are they really as good as weathertech . You know, laser measured . [suspenseful music] no. Nothing comes even close to laser measured weathertech floorliners. They offer the ultimate protection. Front, back and even up the sides. For a full line of premium american made Products Order at wt. Com nothing protects like weathertech. The war is here. A great storm from the north has come against israel. This massive Grocery Store should be crowded. People are lacking food. Exactly. The International Fellowship Of Christians And Jews is preparing meals for elderly citizens who cant get out. So many bombs yesterday. Because of the war, much of her roof is gone, the ceiling is gone. How does she get food . You provide groceries, hot meals. Its you. Your urgently needed gift of 45 will help rush the delivery of an Emergency Food Box and nutritious meals for a week. Its you that gives her hope and lets her feel the presence of god. It must be that god is here with me now. Thank you and ill say a special prayer of thanks to god. Scout is protected by Simparica Trio and hes in it to win it Simparica Trio is the first chew with triple protection. Whoa fleas and ticks Intestinal Worms whoa Heartworm Disease no problem with Simparica Trio this Drug Class has been associated with neurologic adverse reactions including seizures. Use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. For winning protection go with Simparica Trio. No. No. Nuhuh. Yeah. Oh. Yes. Oh yeah. Yes. Isnt this great . Yeeaahhhh yeah, i could do a cartwheel in here. Oh hey would you like to join us . No. We would love to join you. Story and five words. Greg P Diddy aint going nowhere, kat. After pleading guilty to Sex Trafficking and racketeering he was denied A Million dollar plus theyll. He was locked up. I have a theory that because he partied with so many people he might not ever make it up alive else a life. Could he be like epstein at . Or we could be lucky enough that he wont be. This seems very, this is crazy. The the lube. How many bottles . Thousands . What are you doing. Slip and slide . [laughter] what could you . It couldnt just be . I dont even know. But there is a lot of people he is in photos with. A lot of people he is hanging out with what is the alternative . Will he start snitching on people because the gel is so bad . I dont know. Greg he hangs out with a lot of democrats. That is a lot of assholes to lube. I would say you are better than that but you were not. He wrote that this morning and was like this one. Greg i just thought of it. Jim, he has been hosting orgies he calls freak offs. You heard about the Baby Oil and all of the lube. Are we kink shaming . I do not think it is the kink that is the problem. We heard about them rating his apartment. They thought i was a chef because i was sending Women Photos of the white mushroom under a micro flying Glass Micro flying glass. I do not know if it is the kink or not. I think it is the shade, but the kink of it who cares . Greg same here. Tyrus. What . Greg i think Kanye West mentioned there was a lot of stuff about P Diddy. Do you think that they dont want him two else because he might influence witnesses which he probably wood but if he stays in somebody could pay to get Him Epstein to. There was a lot of people involved. He has always been a douche bag. I ran into him wants and i thought this dude is a creep you do not want to run into him. I was right. But we are all the lube and the kink, that is not the Issue. 785 dildos. What world do you live in when you say thats get a few things for the Party And Somebody says how many . I know spencers is a big store but it is not that vague. I am excited he is in jail, finally he can take that, take that, take that from Somebody Else. Let him rot. Greg 780 dildos. Sounds like our government. Yes greg counted i would just say this, ever since i have been introduced to the Term Freakoff i cannot get the visuals out of my head and i will leave it at that. Greg were you ever involved in a freakoff . No. Kickoff. Yes, kickoffs, not freakoff. Greg it just seems so messy. What could be messy about 785 dildos and Baby Oil. What could go wrong. Greg seems like a carnival. What story. Up next, a Trump Clip you have not seen, coming right at your screen. Innovation in Health Care means nothing if no one can afford it. At evernorth, were helping to unlock barriers. Using our 35 plus years of pharmacy Benefits Management Experience to save businesses billions while boosting medication adherence. Helping Plan Sponsors and their members be at their best. Thats wonder made possible. Evernorth health services. Greg Last Night we had so many great moments with Donald Trump that we couldnt fit it all into one show hence the lube. Here is that part you didnt get to see. What is your fondest and not so fondest memory of High School . I love High School, i Loved Sports in high School Period i had a couple of things where you got in a little Trouble Peer i was aggressive peer 20 look at the aggression of kids in Schools Today where they throw teachers out the window, were not talking about that hated getting in trouble because i hate it when they called my Father And Mother and say hes not really behaving so well up your chi hated it car loved the camaraderie have a lot of great friends from High School appear you dont see them often but one came up to my office the other day, he was a great looking guy, women loved him. Most beautiful looking Guy Youve ever seen and i havent seen him in many years. I said to the people in the office, that women especially, when you see this guy, he was Football Player. A great Football Player appear key had everything and the women loved him he walked into my office and i said oh. It was not a pretty sight. He may look at me and say he hasnt aged well, but this guy has not aged well but he was a nice guy. Has your heart ever been broken . Thats such a question. I hate to admit it, am i allowed to admit it . Ive had situations where it was devastating Peer Chi dont want to use the word broken Peer Chi cant do that, im your president peer. He is not sitting in my chair we will be right back. With a multivitamin plus hot flash support. Daily zz for quality sleep. And enxtra for focus and clarity. Centrum, powered by clinically studied ingredients. My life is full of questions. Mom, is yellow a light or a dark . How do i clean an Aioli Stain . Thankfully, tides the answer to almost all of them. Why do we even buy napkins . Use tide. Can Cold Water clean white socks . It can with tide. Do i need to pretreat guacamole . Not with tide. This is chocolate, right . Just use. Tide. Yeah. No matter whos doing it, on what cycle, or in what temperature, tide works. 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